Regarding children, we should offer praise and criticism with calmness

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　　Around 10 p.m. that night, since I had to get up at 5:30 the next day for my early shift, I went online for a while before turning off my computer. At that time, my cousin in the third grade came to my room and asked me to help him create an electronic version of a book review, which he needed to print out as it was due the next day. I was about to go to sleep when he bothered me; of course I was a bit annoyed: “I have to get up after 5 o’clock tomorrow, so I need to go to bed early.” Can I help you with it tomorrow?” “That won’t work; I’m not at home during the day, and the teacher said it needs to be submitted by tomorrow. ”I emphasized again the need to go to bed early and told him to go back. He refused, and there was nothing I could do, so I yelled at him to give me his homework. After a while, he brought over a reflection on what he had read. I created a new document and, while reading the text, typed away furiously; to be precise, I was venting my extreme frustration through the keyboard. What annoyed me even more was that the book review was full of spelling mistakes and missing words, with some sentences being illogical – truly, such a person cannot be taught. After typing rapidly and vigorously, I printed out my thoughts on the reading and handed them to him, turned off the computer, and went to bed. 　　The next evening, I went to my cousin’s house as a guest. Talking about his book review, my aunt also commented: \"What he wrote is complete nonsense; he didn’t even check it after writing it.\" “It’s hard to write good articles without reading more books!” “Yeah, exactly; there are so many spelling mistakes and errors…” I added fuel to the fire, but I didn’t finish speaking, because I knew I was still affected by my emotions from the previous night. Suddenly I realized that someone like me is prone to falling into the mistake of judging others. Furthermore, constant criticism stemming from the halo effect, as seen with Auntie, is also detrimental to a child’s development. 　　Parents may be busy all day and physically exhausted, or they may be troubled and feel tired, which inevitably leads to various negative emotions. A minor mistake made by a child at home is very likely to trigger an overwhelming wave of negative emotions in the parents, and that’s when the \"cat-kicking effect\" occurs. Under the cloud of negative emotions, it is difficult to understand the truth about things and to view issues objectively; it can easily lead a person to an irrational and dangerous state. Actually, when we were very young, our parents would keep making faces to amuse us, praising us at every small sign of progress. When we grew a bit older and became more mischievous, those past compliments vanished into the distance; instead, more criticism came down from above. Don’t think that just because a child has become more sensible, you can criticize them harshly; don’t assume that criticism will achieve the desired outcome. Of course, appropriate criticism is necessary. However, regarding one particular aspect, there are not only things that deserve criticism; from another perspective, there are also reasons for praise, but parents driven by emotions find it difficult to see this. 　　Back to what was said earlier. I shouldn’t have criticized my cousin out of emotion, and my aunt shouldn’t have dismissed everything just because he does poorly in school. Everyone is \"condemning\" him, which makes him feel that the fruit of his labor is worthless; it undermines his enthusiasm for learning, casting a shadow over his heart. All of this is the consequence of emphasizing criticism over praise. Actually, there are aspects worth praising in the book review written by my cousin: you were able to express your own thoughts, dared to engage in self-criticism in the text, and completed the teacher’s assignment beyond the required word count. However, due to various factors, we first focus on the shortcomings, and afterwards we do not thoroughly explore the positive aspects, which leads to irrational education of children. 　　Why criticize? It’s all for the children to do better in the future! Isn’t more praise the same thing? I have a classmate who, when playing games, only keeps track of the successful attempts and indulges in self-praise, while completely ignoring the failures caused by poor gameplay. This approach is not advisable for those who want to succeed; likewise, an educational style that focuses only on criticizing children without giving praise is even worse. Criticism is meant to point out shortcomings and mistakes; praise is meant to acknowledge correct actions. Without criticism, children will keep making mistakes; without praise, they don’t know what to stick to. Just like when evaluating important figures, no matter what mistakes they may have made, we need to consider things from both sides; we must describe their achievements as well as their serious faults before giving a comprehensive assessment. The same is true for children; it’s just a matter of emphasizing criticism or praise in the process of education. But many parents are immersed in their own emotions; criticism is simply criticism, without taking the time to think about what deserves praise. Of course, sometimes criticism is needed when it’s appropriate, and praise when it’s appropriate; it’s important to distinguish between different situations. 　　Psychologist Skinner said, “When criticism is reduced and encouragement and praise are increased, people will do more good things, while the less desirable behaviors will be ignored and diminish.” ”Carnegie also had a similar saying: \"It’s always much easier to hear some unpleasant criticism after we’ve heard praise for our strengths from others.\" ”Before criticizing a child, think about what can be taught to them; there are not only aspects that require criticism but also those that deserve praise. Proper language skills should be employed, combining praise with criticism, in order to achieve better results. More importantly, parents must set aside their emotions and maintain a pure approach to education. “Kind words can warm one through three winters, while harsh words can hurt someone as if it were June cold. ”This is something we should consider in the process of raising children. 　　Given that many people in the industry have shown considerable interest in information related to mining cranes in Henan, the author would like to recommend a website, http://www.craneky.com/, in the hope that it will be useful to everyone.