Filial piety comes first among all virtues

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This post was last edited by Tianjingsha Xiaoli on 2017-4-30 00:19. As the saying goes: There are no filial children by the sickbed over a long illness. But after what’s happened in the past few months, I think this statement is a bit too absolute. Today I’ll tell you the story of my father-in-law. Since mid-December last year, my wife’s grandfather has been suffering from coughing and shortness of breath due to a cold; he took many medications, but nothing seemed to help. Although the New Year was approaching, in order to help him recover faster and suffer less, my father-in-law decided to send him to the hospital for treatment. But who would have thought that the old man wouldn’t be able to afford to stay in the hospital this time. At first, the resident doctor conducted a thorough examination of the old man; the diagnosis was that there were problems with his lungs. As a heavy smoker who had smoked for decades, everyone in his family was aware of the issue with his lungs, and he had been taking medication. Treatment for his lung problems was carried out based on this diagnosis, and he stayed in the hospital for half a month. My father-in-law also stayed by his side as his caregiver throughout those half month. As the Spring Festival approached, the old man’s condition improved significantly, so it was decided that he would go home to celebrate the festival. After that, he would return to the hospital for further treatment. Unexpectedly, on the day after he returned home, he started vomiting as soon as he ate anything. So, on the afternoon of the first day of the festival, he had to be sent back to the hospital. The doctors ordered an X-ray of his stomach, and the diagnosis was that he had inflammation in the stomach, which required continued hospitalization. The treatment for his stomach and lungs would take another month. Once the initial treatment was complete, the doctors suggested that he no longer needed to stay in the hospital; he could just take the medicine and recover at home. During those one month of treatment, my father-in-law stayed by the old man’s side constantly, taking care of him. A few days after returning home, everyone noticed that the old man couldn’t use his legs to walk properly. At first, they thought it was due to the month he spent in the hospital, so they helped him walk and try to recover. But a few days later, they observed that his behavior was strange – he kept trying to get up and take a few steps, only to sit down again after walking just a short distance. He kept repeating this cycle without being able to stop. The family realized something was wrong and rushed him to the hospital. The doctor suggested a brain CT scan, and the diagnosis was surprisingly brain atrophy. Because of this atrophy, his body wasn’t under control, which caused him to move around uncontrollably. He already had some problems with his lungs, and all this movement made it even harder for him to breathe; his heart rate was fast, as if he had just finished running 100 meters. On the doctor’s advice, I was admitted to the ICU. During my stay there, I experienced gastric bleeding, and the doctors issued two critical condition alerts. Those who have family or friends who have been in the ICU know that the typical length of stay there is about a week, with three possible outcomes: the first is that the patient’s condition improves, after which they are transferred to a regular ward for further treatment. The second case is when the patient’s condition cannot be treated, and the doctor will advise the family to take the patient home and wait there. The third category is those who passed away directly in the ICU. The old man stayed in the ICU for 35 days, and my father-in-law waited outside the ICU for those same 35 days, sleeping on a mat at night. Those who have been in the ICU know that there are fixed limits on the amount of time one can visit a patient there, and that time is quite short; most of the time is spent waiting outside the ICU for the doctors to call them in. This is a source of great distress for those who take care of the patient. Coincidentally, I’ve been working overtime due to maintenance work these days, and I haven’t been able to help my father-in-law at all; I couldn’t give him a chance to rest properly. During his time in the hospital, my father-in-law lost twenty to thirty pounds, and his hair turned quite gray. Just yesterday, the hospital gave my father-in-law an ultimatum: it was absolutely impossible to cure him, and there was no point in keeping him in the ICU; it would be better for him to go home and rest in peace. My father-in-law understood this as well; although he had always tried to avoid facing it, he knew he had to confront it eventually. The father-in-law consulted with some relatives in the family and decided to take the old man back to his hometown to wait there. This morning, after bringing the old man home, his breathing remained rapid, even though he was on oxygen therapy; he had to be separated from the ventilator. When the villagers learned that Grandpa had returned, they all came to see him. They said that good people don’t get rewarded; how could such a kind person suffer from such an illness in old age? They were all worried that my father-in-law might have suicidal thoughts, so I tried to comfort him by saying: You’ve done your best; you’ve been by his side ever since he was hospitalized, providing both money and effort. Your filial piety serves as an example for the next generation. Although the villagers are from the countryside and not very good at speaking, repeating just one or two words of comfort over and over again, their eyes are sharp and perceptive. My father-in-law is truly praiseworthy; he stayed in the hospital for several months, and it wasn’t easy for him to do so at the age of over 50. In the future, my wife and I will definitely learn from my father-in-law. You raised me, and now I will take care of you in your old age. Finally, I would like to say one thing to all my fellow sailors: the May Day holiday is here. Instead of focusing only on where to go during this time off, think more about your relatives whom you haven’t seen in a long time. Take the opportunity to visit them while they are still around, so as to avoid ending up in a situation where you want to take care of your parents but they are no longer alive.