How can one become a strong-minded person?

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The weak are generally as irritable as tigers and prone to sudden anger. The strong are usually as calm as water and relatively peaceful. A person with a weak inner self naturally lacks inner peace. For those with an unsettled mind, turmoil is everywhere. Even the smallest things are amplified to the extreme. A person with a weak inner self will always lack a sense of security. 　Not being strong enough means being easily influenced by the outside world, which usually shows up as either an excessive concern for what others think or living under the judgment and talk of others. As a result, they lose their ability to make independent judgments and become indecisive and restless. 　　To become a person with a strong inner self, one needs to possess at least the following six qualities: 1) High level of self-discipline and self-deprecation ； 2) One must go through despair ； 3) Develop the ability to be alone ； 4) Unrestricted thinking ； 5) A belief is needed ； 6) BE YOURSELF (Be yourself). 　　1. High self-discipline and self-deprecation Why not say confidence? People who lack confidence are generally more vulnerable inside. A confident person has faith in themselves; they approach tasks with a positive attitude and are always full of passion. All blind confidence, as well as confidence born of emptiness, is arrogance. One must possess genuine knowledge and skills; even through continuous trial and error, the day when one can reach the summit will eventually come. 　　Where does a person’s confidence actually come from? And how to build one's confidence? High confidence stems from high self-discipline. What is self-discipline then? Self-discipline means managing oneself and restraining oneself. This is a very important skill. One must first learn to control oneself and use a strict schedule to manage one’s life, so as to gradually build confidence through such self-discipline. Confidence also implies the ability to have control over things; if one can’t even control even the most basic aspects of time, how can there be confidence? 　　Besides self-discipline, the ability to laugh at oneself is also quite important. The world is so big that there are birds of every kind. The day you manage to achieve something, many people, whether you know them or not, start whispering and talking back behind your back. From initial complaints, to distorted arguments and even boring attempts to slander you. 　　Self-mockery means laughing at oneself, using one’s own dark humor against oneself. Self-mockery is a form of communication, a state of mind, and also an alternative kind of self-cultivation. Self-deprecation is not something that appears only when someone speaks about you; it is a skill that is needed from start to finish. You must see through those boring and vulgar people; you need to be even better at criticizing yourself than they are. Once they realize how uninteresting they are, they will leave in shame. 　　2. One must go through despair. Going through despair means having already passed through those times. Perhaps the fact that you have never felt despair does not mean you are not strong, but surely no one who has never experienced despair is strong. A life without despair is an imperfect life. Despair can be emotions, career issues, or the inability to cope with loneliness, and so on. 　　「\"Must\" is a prefix word, an important state. 「\"Must\" is not a voluntary choice, but rather requiring full mental preparation. When despair comes, accept it with calmness and fearlessness, even if it is extremely painful and one even loses oneself. Searching for hope in despair is a life worth living. 　　A strong person is not one who conquers things, but one who can endure them. There are things that one can only understand after experiencing them, and only then can one grasp the true meaning of life. Despair is not scary; what’s scary is losing courage and passion. Experience despair, but do not let it consume you. Instead, you must overcome it, just as one overcomes darkness to embrace light. 　　3. Cultivate the ability to be alone. Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing; they are distinct concepts that are often confused. People often regard social interaction as a skill, yet they overlook the fact that being alone is also a skill, and in a sense, it is an even more important skill than social interaction. If poor social skills are a weakness of character, then an inability to tolerate loneliness is simply a flaw in the soul. 　　One must be able to endure loneliness and not go with the flow. Loneliness is a party for one; a party is loneliness for a crowd. Maturity, in other words, means that as you grow older, you learn to adapt to everything on your own. In time spent alone, discover what one truly loves and develop one’s own independent judgment. 　　Only by first learning to love oneself can one have the ability to love others. If you don’t learn to talk to yourself, it’s even harder to communicate with others. The more capable a person is of being alone, the better they can face and understand difficulties, as well as get along with others. Because it enables one to put oneself in another’s shoes instantly and consider things from their perspective. 　　4. Unrestricted thinking: Your vision should be broader than others’, and your mindset should be more open. A life spent calculating constantly will eventually be calculated by life itself. In addition, they also live in various petty concerns and narrow-mindedness. 　　Life is like driving a car; when you are 30 yards faster than others, you experience things that they cannot perceive. Life is like flying a plane as well; when you are 30,000 feet higher than others, your view is naturally different from theirs. In other words, when you are striving for greater and more distant beauties, there’s no need to worry about the short-sighted views of others. Everything is calm and untroubled, no longer affected. 　　Once one is broad-minded, they are no longer bound by narrow-mindedness. After freedom, one is no longer constrained by formalism. 　　5. A belief is needed. Humans are inherently limited; no matter what you believe in, you must have some belief, otherwise you are no different from animals. 　　In this era, almost everyone has a belief, only do they hold different beliefs. Some people believe in power, some in money, some in the self, some in love, some in happiness, some in good food, some in political parties, some in systems, some in atheism, some in theism, some in polytheism; some hold firm to Christianity... No matter what the belief may be, it deserves respect, and any belief must be understood in depth and believed in in order to truly be considered a belief. Any form of belief that is based on ignorance cannot be considered a true belief; it is rather superstition. This applies to all religious beliefs, including Christianity. 　　Wisdom and truth are as far apart as heaven and earth. Learn to yearn for truth rather than seek wisdom. Truth enables one to view all things in the world with greater wisdom, to approach complex human relationships with tolerance, to move forward through life with unwavering conviction, and to face the darkness of human nature and the tragedies of the world with calmness and composure. 　　6. BE YOURSELF (Be yourself.) Just be yourself. Don’t try to please everyone; you can’t do it now, and you won’t be able to do it in the future either. 　　It’s impossible for anyone to cover everything. Everyone should have their own people they care most about; they are the most precious treasures in your life. If they have misunderstandings or doubts about what you’ve done, it’s worth taking the time to respond and explain. 　　Here are the three types of groups that matter most to me, for reference only: 1. Family members (relatives are not included, as I only see them once a year and have no idea about their life goals) ； 2. True friends in life (the few genuine close friends who know everything about you) ； 3. Pastor or mentor (a spiritual guide, similar to a senior colleague who provides guidance in the workplace). 　　I will listen carefully to their evaluations/opinions/suggestions. If there is any misunderstanding, a thorough explanation and response will definitely be provided. Only those who truly care about you understand you in a relatively comprehensive way; most other people have only a one-sided understanding of you. In life, there is no particular interaction between us; all there is are hearsay or merely brief encounters. 　　There’s no need to respond to those familiar strangers; they don’t necessarily care about you truly – they’re just curious. Time is so precious; there’s no time to deal with these, nor is it within the scope of one’s obligation to explain them. Your life doesn’t need to be defined by what others say; there are many more important things waiting to be done. 　　People with a strong inner self rarely care about what others think, including acquaintances who are strangers. Just as positive people pay little attention to negative information, even if they see it, it is automatically blocked or processed instantly. They are very clear about their position and goals. 　　When faced with obstacles, every possible means is employed to eliminate them. Even when faced with setbacks, they don’t give up easily. By overcoming difficulties, one gains strength. Solving problems brings wisdom. Once one steps out of the darkness, hope is available. For them, these are merely inevitable stages in life. 　　A truly strong person must have a calm heart, a kind soul, and a wise mind. One must have experienced storms and turbulence, gone through highs and lows, and seen all the different aspects of life. May we, on the journey of life, no matter what circumstances we face, be filled with wise strength and courage, and become people with a strong inner self.