Talking to Children (Repost)
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Shared from the internet. Do you agree? What we’re sharing with you today are 5 tones that parents should use when speaking to their children. The tone in which parents speak to their kids can influence those children’s development in the future; therefore, we recommend that parents use a respectful tone, an encouraging tone, a consultative tone, a praising tone, and a trusting tone as much as possible. This is advice given by psychologists from Peking University to all parents. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/198eb129c95248919b4f8df48e0db03f.jpeg Many parents unconsciously bring their personal emotions into family education; the most obvious manifestation of this is the tone they use when speaking to their children. For example, they speak in a rushed tone when they are anxious, and in a depressed tone when they are sad. Although the content of what is said remains the same, its impact on children varies greatly; the same sentence, delivered in a different tone, conveys different emotions to the children. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/ccc2b7e746eb44ec9cc1efa2614f517b.jpeg Psychologists at Peking University argue that family education should focus on helping children develop a sound personality, and an important factor in shaping a child’s personality is the way in which parents communicate with them. Successful family education does not depend on how highly educated the parents are; it lies in the everyday details of the relationship between parents and children. Moreover, the tone in which parents speak can influence a child’s entire life. Psychologists from Peking University recommend that parents use these 5 tones when speaking to their children:
1. Use a tone that shows respect for the child. Psychologists at Peking University point out that children develop a sense of \"self-awareness\" around the age of two or three, and this awareness grows stronger as they get older; gradually, children become more assertive. Therefore, when children express their own ideas and opinions, parents should not rush to refute or scold them, regardless of whether what they say is right or wrong. Instead, they should ask their children in a respectful tone why they think that way, and explain to them what is correct. When children feel respected by their parents, they are more willing to accept advice. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/7e0a856e1d2d4b3dae2786669d2881a5.jpeg
2. The tone of voice used when speaking to children. As children grow up, it’s inevitable that they make mistakes or fail at certain tasks, as growth involves making mistakes and gaining experience. At such times, the tone of voice used by parents is very important. If parents always speak in an angry tone, it will make children increasingly lack confidence, making them feel that they can’t do anything well. On the other hand, if parents use an encouraging tone, pointing out the mistakes first before telling the child that they will be able to do better in the future, then the child will gain confidence. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/957f11deeef0425b820baf514ec3723a.jpeg
3. A tone of negotiation with children. Some parents believe that children should listen to them by nature, and when speaking to their children they always use a commanding tone; for example, they tell children what to do without first discussing it with them, instead giving orders in a firm manner. Psychologists at Peking University believe that such a tone can provoke resistance in children; although they may not say anything out loud, it has a very negative impact on the parent-child relationship. It is recommended to speak to children in a consultative tone. Although your decision might be correct and the child needs to carry it out, if you try to change from an authoritative tone to a consultative one, the child will be more willing to cooperate. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/d20add29126045cf89dce5927551d6cf.jpeg
4. The tone used to praise children: Every child is unique and has their own strengths, but many parents tend to be picky in family education, focusing on the things their children do wrong, believing that this is a way of exercising strict discipline over them. For example, when a child completes a handicraft task well, the parent might simply say “It’s okay,” before pointing out a bunch of flaws. Psychologists from Peking University advise that it’s fine to point out problems, but parents should never be stingy with praise for their children. By first praising the child in an encouraging manner and then pointing out areas for improvement, the results will be very different – the child will become better and better. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/d6b234ece51c44ff8af42ce8d691f391.jpeg
5. Use a tone of trust when speaking to children. When children do things, they lack experience and feel uncertain about themselves; what they need most at such times is their parents’ trust. For example, if a child decides to learn a musical instrument but is worried that they won’t be able to master it, if their parents can say to them in a trusting tone, “You can definitely do it; we believe in you,” it will give the child plenty of confidence. This will also motivate them more during the learning process, increasing the chances of them succeeding. A psychologist from Peking University says that sometimes one or two words said by parents may seem unimportant, but they can actually have a profound impact on a child’s mind. http://5b0988e595225.cdn.sohucs.com/images/20181217/2abb501052ef4cdc86efec3a478771f6.jpeg As you can see, family education isn’t as complicated as we think. Sometimes, it’s the small details in daily life that can have a lasting impact on children. Just like the 5 ways of speaking we shared today – many parents may not have paid attention to them before. But after reading these analyses by psychologists from Peking University, I believe everyone will benefit greatly. From now on, when talking to children, be sure to use these 5 ways of speaking!
**The use of sticks and whips, which has persisted for nearly 5,000 years, hasn’t produced that many fools either