Bilingual: Garfield’s Super Classic Funny Quotes

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Money isn’t everything. There are Mastercard and Visa. Cash isn’t omnipotent; sometimes credit cards are also needed. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Everyone should love animals, because they are delicious. Save water. Take showers with your girlfriend. Be mindful of using water – try to take showers together with her. Love your neighbor. But don’t get caught. Love your neighbor with all your heart, but don’t let her husband know. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. There is always a woman behind every successful man. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should get married. After all, happiness isn’t the only thing in life. Even the happiest single man will eventually get married; happiness isn’t permanent after all. Wise people never marry, and when they do, they change. Smart people stay single; those who get married find it hard to remain smart. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. Success is a relative concept; it brings with it many unrelated \"relatives\" (connections). Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off today. Don’t wait until you can’t complete the task by tomorrow to look for excuses; find ones today. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. Love is like a photograph; it requires a lot of time in the dark room to develop. Children in the back seats cause accidents. Accidents in the back seats cause children. Kids in the back seats lead to accidents, and accidents in the back seats result in kids. "“Your future depends on your dreams.” So go to sleep. “The dreams you have now determine your future,” so go back to sleep for a while longer. There must be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. There should be an improved way to begin each new day, rather than waking up in the same manner every single morning. "“Hard work never killed anybody.” But why take the risk? Hard work doesn’t cause death! Still, I won’t prove it by putting myself at risk. “I’m fascinated by work. I can watch it for hours! Work is so interesting! Especially watching other people work. God decides who your relatives are; thankfully, He gives you the freedom to choose your friends. God determines who is your relative, but fortunately He allows you some freedom in choosing friends. When two are together, three results! The situation with two people is unstable; it’s only with three people that stability is achieved. A dress is like a barbed fence – it protects what’s inside without blocking the view. Clothing is similar to barbed wire: it prevents reckless actions but doesn’t stop one from seeing clearly. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? The more you learn, the more you know; the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why go through the trouble of learning then? This post was last edited by hanshan on 2009-2-18 09:33.]