How did I make it through life in Shenzhen after graduating?

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I study computer programming; I haven’t been working for very long. I’m currently in Shenzhen. After graduating, I changed careers and started working as a salesperson. Last year, my family helped me buy a house by covering 20% of the cost, with the rest having to be paid by myself. With the money I earn, I can cover the mortgage and my own expenses, and I think it’s enough to support one more person as well. Recently, I suddenly felt the urge to write something down, to record the path I have taken over these two years. While organizing my memories, I also hope to be of some help to those who are about to graduate and enter society, as well as to my friends who are already working. When it comes time to actually start writing something down, I always get stuck, because after all, I have been working for less than two years; there are many things I have seen and understood that are incomplete, and there are also certain things that cannot be described in detail – I don’t know how to decide what to include and what to leave out. But when I think of everyone’s busy faces every day, when I see that millions more still haven’t found jobs, when I see my classmates who came to Shenzhen together gradually returning home for various reasons, and when I see a friend who foolishly quit his job to go to Beijing for a woman, only to be abandoned after spending all his money and then returning to Nanchang to stay at home all day, I think I should keep writing. When I was admitted to university, most of my relatives were surprised; in their eyes, I was a good-for-nothing kid. Our family was very poor at that time, and no relatives wanted to have anything to do with us – that’s just how realistic people can be. And I’m not good at studying; my skills are always only at a mediocre level. Two months before the college entrance exams, I saw that my score on the practice tests was over 390 points – (the full score at that time was 750 points). I thought about it seriously for a whole night, and for the time that followed I went to bed around 2 a.m. almost every day and got up at 5:30 a.m.; in the end I scored 531 points. Actually, I didn’t have any grand ambitions at that time; I just heard people say that going to college was fun. If you don’t go to college, you won’t have a job in the future, and your life will have a gap, a void, and you won’t be able to find a beautiful woman to marry either. Looking back now, it was these two months that changed my life. That’s how it is with people: an accident, a series of inevitable events, and together they shape one’s life. A small decision or a chance encounter can change the entire course of events and their outcomes. I’m usually indifferent to everything, but at critical moments I can still tell what’s important and what’s not – that’s my only advantage. Since graduating from university, I haven’t been to many places, met many people, or retained many memories. Thoughts and desires fill every day, leaving no space in my mind for the various moments from the past—moments that could be beautiful and bright, or painful, happy, or full of regret... I’ve been wondering when to start writing. Initially, I thought I would only write about things that happened after graduation, but now I realize that some people and events from my university days were also factors that changed me, especially my girlfriend with whom I spent three years together; she taught me a lot... It was the year I graduated, in 2005, when I was 22 years old. I’ve been with her for two and a half years. To be honest, I can’t remember when I first fell in love with her. I’ve tried hard to recall, but it’s useless. When friends ask, I always stick to the same story, telling it each time with a face full of happiness as I recall those moments. After telling it so many times, I even came to firmly believe that I really fell in love with her that way. Although I’ve said it many times, I still want to recall it here once again, so as not to forget the facts I used to believe in so firmly as time passes… It was a very sunny and hot day. I remember I had just taken a shower and was planning to go to the mobile phone shop across the southern area to top up my credit. As I left the entrance of the academy, I saw her: she was wearing slightly faded jeans, a light purple striped shirt, and her skin was very fair; she had her hair tied in a ponytail and was holding an umbrella, walking slowly in front of me in the same direction as I was. I followed her, speeding up my pace, eager to see what kind of face belonged to a back with such curves. At that time, I still didn’t know that she would spend the rest of our college years with me, bringing me laughter and fantasies I had never experienced before, happiness and disappointment, regret and tears – and of course, the realism of fantasies in the night. It was the weekend, and there were many people waiting in the mobile hall; she was standing behind me. I could smell her faint fragrance, and I thought she must be able to smell the mixed scent of Suds and Shalimar on me as well. On a night a few days later, after making love, we reflected on the fact that it was precisely this unique scent that allowed two ordinary man and woman, in that stuffy and noisy hall, to have expectations completely different from those of everyone else. Both of them hoped that the people in front would walk slower, slower, even slower… I finally turned around. “Excuse me, I need to step out for a moment. Could you hold my seat for me? ” “Okay, you’d better hurry up; there are three people ahead of you. ” I went out to buy two bottles of water, and when I returned to my original spot, I gave her one of them. She smiled, tilted her head to look at me, paused for a moment, and then took it. “Is it considered wages? ” “Well, one gets paid for their work, right?” “Thank you; I earn 1.5 dollars per minute. It would be better if that shop were a bit further away. ” “If it takes more than three minutes, a contract must be signed before payment is given. ” When we went back, we exchanged phone numbers, but I never got in touch with her because at that time I found the fourth gangster in CS to be more attractive and cute than her. She was the one who called me first; her phone couldn’t send text messages, and she didn’t know why. That day she went to Mobile to get a number for her newly purchased phone. I rushed downstairs and quickly appeared in front of her, allowing my cute Bandit No. 4 to be killed by the USP pistol under the control of my novice roommate, Turtle. I don’t know exactly what the problem is; in any case, after I pressed the button to restore the factory settings, the text message “Ah” was successfully delivered to my phone. When I returned her phone, I said, “Do we need to sign a contract this time to get paid?” ” “As a thank you, I’ll treat you to dinner tonight; we can discuss the contract details later. ” “Okay, remember to bring the radish stamp; I won’t recognize a contract without it. ” She smiled, tilted her head as she looked at me smiling, then turned and walked away. And that’s how two people who were attracted to each other ended up together… That’s how she smiled at me with her head tilted for two years… That’s how she cried at me with her head tilted for two years; that’s how she argued with me with her head tilted for two years. And that’s how we kissed each other with our heads tilted for two years. But she told me that she wouldn’t go to Shenzhen with me, and when she decided to go to Shanghai, she didn’t tilt her head anymore. I remember it was a day in May 2005; she returned from Shanghai. I found her, and after having dinner at Jiji Hong Hot Pot Restaurant across the North District, at that familiar hotel nearby, after exhausting all our energy together, she didn’t look at me, turned her face away, and told me in person. Before that day, after moving back to the school to live there from our little home that used to belong to us, we hadn’t seen each other or been in touch for half a year. Over the past six months, she has been working at Shanghai Shi*, while I have been working full-time as a programmer in a SMS value-added service department at Mobile, where I worked with my colleagues to develop a traffic-related SMS platform. During the first month after she left without saying goodbye, I called countless times to that number from which the only message sent to me was the word “Ah”, but the phone was always off. Every night before going to bed, I send her a text message to tell her about the joys or hardships of the day, and of course, to express my apologies. For over twenty days, there was no response, which made me think for a while that that number had been abandoned by her just like mine, so I stopped making those futile attempts to get in touch. The evening after she told me it was impossible for her to go on with me, I went to see her again in an attempt to win her back. She ran out of the dormitory, stopped not far from me, jumped over to me, took my hand, and smiled at me with her head tilted. “Come on, we don’t need a contract today; your employer is happy, so let’s take you to the movies. ” I said nothing; I held her hand, put it together in my jacket pocket, and headed out of the school. Along the way, she held my arm tightly, greeted everyone who knew us, and laughed as usual. I laughed too, and as I laughed, I suddenly felt like crying. That familiar scene that had appeared in my dreams countless times over the past six months was finally back in my life again – the sun, the air, and her… all of them were once again within reach. But I knew deep down that she had really decided to leave me; she wouldn’t bring back slippers, toothbrushes, and washbasins from our small home outside in a fit of anger in the evenings, as she used to, and throw them at my bedroom door. She wouldn’t tilt her head and point at my nose while saying, “You selfish guy! Let’s break up!” ”Then the next morning, she stood below my dormitory, waiting for me to come down, and with her head bowed, she told me that impulse is the devil and that she regretted it. She still went to Shanghai. Before leaving, she showed me a photo of another man in her wallet. She said that man was someone she met in Shanghai; he was very kind to her, older than her, and it was he who took care of her there. Although he couldn’t make her laugh heartily and freely like I could, he also wouldn’t leave her sitting alone on the bed crying like I did. After she left, I stayed at school for some time longer. When I felt sad, I told myself that it was she who first rejected me, who first chose someone else, who first betrayed our shared promise. Damn love! I, as a selfish person, quickly returned to enjoying skipping classes, working, and playing games. As someone who can’t stand being alone, after work, for the first time I went to a place that wasn’t meant for someone who is still a student, along with my colleagues, pretending to be experienced. I, who am so forgetful, actually only remembered her for a long time when it was night and no one else was around to talk. I only realized at the very end just how much I had let her down. In the last few days before leaving school, I was no longer working; I spent my time in the dormitory with my roommates, with cigarettes, mahjong, the internet, and takeaway meals keeping us company as we went through day after day and night after night. At 8 p.m. on June 17th, that time that is etched in my mind, and what happened at that time – I think I will never be able to forget it in my entire life. I was sitting in front of the computer, logged into QQ, watching the TV series I had just downloaded – Golden Eggs on Duck Lane – when her mother’s QQ avatar started flashing. Her mother used to come to the school to see her often, taking us to eat things that she usually wouldn’t afford. When I was sick, she would take me to the hospital and watch as the doctor gave me injections, then use a cotton swab dipped in alcohol to clean my bottom. When she wasn’t around, she told me, \"Xiao Yan often tells me that you know she’s cold-sensitive, so give her a thick blanket and cover yourself with a blanket. I’m very grateful to you, and I hope you’ll continue to take care of her in this way in the future.\" ” When I wasn’t there, I told her: \"Although Little X has always lived with his mother, when you meet his father in the future, no matter what attitude Little X takes, you must remember to greet him politely – you can’t be impolite, after all, he is his father.\" ” The following is my conversation with such a kind mother; it’s a conversation that makes my heart ache slightly whenever I think of it in the quiet of the night. “Hi Xiao X, long time no see. ” “Hello, auntie. ” “Are you still in Nanchang? ” “Well, I plan to go to Shenzhen in a few days; the tickets have already been bought. ” ““Oh…” “I didn’t really want to say anything to you, but after seeing the things you wrote in your profile just now, I suddenly felt like saying something after all. ” (My profile says: ‘The oriole and the white rabbit, wandering east and west.’) Clothes may not be as new, but old friends remain the same. ’) “I don’t know what happened between you and Xiao Yan. Ever since she came back, she’s in a very poor state. When I ask her, she says nothing and stays locked in her room all day long.” When taking a bath, she would stay in there for over an hour, turning the water up very loud, and cry inside. It broke my heart to see her like that. ” “I took her to see a doctor, and the doctor said she had mild depression and needed time to recover. When I wanted to talk to you about taking a leave of absence from school, she wouldn’t let me; she said there was nothing to talk about with you. But later, on her birthday, after the relatives had left, I woke up in the middle of the night and found that she hadn’t slept; she was holding her phone, sitting on the balcony lost in thought. When I tried to comfort her, she hugged me and cried, saying that all her friends had called to wish her happy birthday, but that I was too stingy as to even send her a text message. ” “Sigh… you’re still a child; there are things you might not understand yet. But I have to say, you really disappoint me. “In any case, I hope you will achieve success in your career and be happy in the future. \"Goodbye.\" I didn’t reply with a single word; I just read the messages one by one… I didn’t sleep all night, and early the next morning I rushed to the train station, went to Jiujiang, and found her cousin. From her cousin, I learned that she had returned home; after being diagnosed with depression, her mother sent her to her aunt’s villa on Lushan Mountain to recover. Her cousin stayed with her the whole time. She received all the messages I sent. She turned on her phone at 5 a.m. every day, read the messages, and then turned it off again. She even told her cousin, \"If he persists for three months, I’ll go back to him.\" ” But I, damn it, didn’t manage to stick with it for a single month. Later on, she went to Shanghai by herself, found a job there, and met the man in the photo. That man was the brother of her middle school classmate, as well as the department manager at her company. To my relief, it seems they are about to get married now. I sincerely hope she can be happy. And that’s how I never heard her voice again, nor saw her, up to this day. And that’s how I missed this woman, the woman who could have become a member of my family, someone like a mother or a sister. Later on, I was even unable to love anymore; after meeting BILL, I saw another version of myself, a more indulgent self. Bill Bao, Eric Chen, and us in Huizhou – it seemed like everything was already arranged; there was no choice, and things just happened naturally... I remember that day when I was transferred from Shenzhen to Huizhou; it was raining, not heavily, just light drops of rain. The ground was wet and uneven, and people on the streets weren’t in a hurry, as if it were only someone else’s sky that was raining. A few idle customers sat at the snack stalls by the road, with many motorcycles parked haphazardly on either side. I’ve already spoken to BILL by phone; he’s helped me find a house. After getting off the bus, I found a motorcycle taxi and went to the Luozihu Community. BILL was waiting for me at the entrance of the complex, carrying simple luggage, and we went upstairs. The room wasn’t big; it was a single-bedroom unit with a bathroom. It was completely empty, with nothing in it at all (I stayed there for two months before moving to an apartment with two bedrooms and a living room). In places like Guangdong, since most tenants are migrant workers, most rental apartments are of this kind. We had a brief chat, then went downstairs to eat something and bought some furniture. BILL kept showing me around the area, but I didn’t pay much attention. Looking back, it’s actually a bit strange – it was my first day in this city, yet it felt like I had already been living here for several years. The pedestrians on the streets, the cars on the roads, the houses along the streets, and the trees beside them – it’s so similar to Nanchang. It is precisely because of its astonishing similarity to Nanchang that my memories often become blurred; when trying to recall these past events, I frequently mix things up, make mistakes, and even forget. Later, I learned about a way of life from a book, and it struck me that, ever since I met BILL, I had unconsciously started living that way – emptiness accompanied by passion, self-reproach accompanied by pleasure, and I simply couldn’t stop. I have lost the ability to love; I can no longer fall in love with anyone. I have become a heartless creature – I’ve gotten what I deserved. Since mirrors came into existence in this world, people have gained another source of pain and fear, and I am no exception. Perhaps I was inherently cold-hearted and practical when it came to emotions, as I never really examined myself without a mirror; meeting BILL was like seeing my own reflection in that mirror, and then I was terrified. When I first left school and arrived in Shenzhen, for about a month I traveled around looking for interview opportunities. I adhered to one principle: for my first job, I wanted to work for a well-known company so as to have a solid starting point for my future career development. I’ve always believed in the saying that like attracts like. I successfully obtained interview opportunities and experience with Lenovo, Samsung, and IBM. Even though they didn’t choose me in the end, I still gained something from these interviews; through them I learned what these companies like and what they don’t like. Finally, after the fourth interview, I succeeded. GS was my first job after leaving school. Looking back, I was lucky in a sense, as I learned a lot during the little over year I spent working with those colleagues. Through BILL, I learned the art of moderation and being reserved; although I was already quite reserved before that ； Through ERIC, I learned professional skills and work ethics ； From KEYS, I learned to be calm and optimistic. This also gave me the leverage to switch to PCs a year later. My time in Huizhou was happy, as there were no pressures in life; if I was fed, my whole family would be fed, and I didn’t have too many worries. My income was sufficient to allow me to lead a life without financial concerns. And the easy and free work gave me time to squander my youth, to waste the energy and vitality that come with being young. But a life of indulgence often leaves me unable to sleep in the quiet of the night; I can fall asleep only with the help of music’s soothing effect. (During that time, the songs I heard most often were Tao Jiji’s \"Liusha\" and \"Melody\"; whenever I hear these two songs now, I feel an inexplicable sense of melancholy. I have thought more than once about ending such a game, but once that door of desire, which exists in every animal, is opened, it’s really difficult to escape from it – whether it’s men or women. Whenever I want to finish, there are always **unexpected calls or emails. “Those with too much memory – it’s Friday already. Have you found the USB drive? ” “He’s not here these days. Should I come over? Should I drive over to pick you up after work? ” Faced with such questions, at that time my brain would unconsciously secrete hormones, and then I would fall back into it again. ERIC once said that nine out of ten women will say yes; the problem is men who can’t keep their mouths shut. I became skeptical at first, but later I believed it. I remember BILL once joking about himself: “The two of us managed to experience in one year the amount that other men would take two lifetimes to experience; we’re going to pay for this later.” ”Although he said it with a smile, as a joke. But I believe that there will definitely be retribution. Because I was only 23 years old that year, having just graduated from university, I chose to enter society in this way and start my life. In the light, what drives me are motives such as interest, family ties, friendship, and a sense of achievement; but in the darkness, all that drives me is instinct. I know I’m just a passerby in this city, so my instincts are completely unrestrained here. Perhaps it’s because they also know that I am just a passerby who won’t disturb anyone; therefore, their instincts are not restrained around me either. Everyone has two sides: a professional and elegant office worker by day – who would know what she did last night? Who else would know that the text message she sent just now read: ‘I forgot to bring the card over to you yesterday; come to my place over the weekend and remember to bring it along.’ ’ The woman who sent this text is probably 30 years old now. I mention her here, going against my promise, because she truly is someone I find hard to forget. During that year in Huizhou, I was in a relationship with her for the longest time. How should I put it? Our relationship was that of lovers, yet we were also like confidants and friends. She is divorced and has a 2-year-old daughter; I’ve met her, and she’s a very cute child. If one didn’t know her relationship with me, she would seem almost perfect in the eyes of others; perhaps it’s due to the nature of her work that she possesses a grace that other women can only aspire to. It can be said that in that small town of Huizhou, the scene of her stopping the car, opening the door, and stepping out was striking. Actually, she’s not very pretty, nor can she be considered sexy; she just has a standard height of 168 cm. But whenever men see her, they give her admiring looks; perhaps it’s that indescribable charm. She has traveled further than I have, and seen more of the world; she understands men well – their peculiar vanity, their weary silence, as well as their childlike demands in bed... She often tells me about all the things she has learned from her experiences. Of course, due to our age, there were times when we felt awkward together. I remember it was a weekend when she drove me to a resort called Tangquan. While driving, she always liked to wear a pair of white gloves; according to her, not wearing gloves would make one’s hands rough. Along the way, as she drove, she taught me to identify the plants and trees by the roadside. I was surprised that she knew them all, so I asked her about her childhood, about growing up on a farm. Later on, we talked about a song, one called ‘Like Mist, Like Rain, Like Wind’. She said she really liked this song; she fell in love with it the first time she heard it in the ninth grade. I corrected her, telling her that this song was actually being played everywhere back in the third grade of elementary school. She argued, but I dismissed her arguments. Later, we realized that actually none of us had made any mistakes. She smiled, then sighed and fell silent. Before I returned to Shenzhen, she was getting ready for her wedding, planning to marry an old classmate who had been pursuing her for several years. She said her daughter was growing up and needed a complete family. She also warned me, ‘Don’t get married before 35, unless the woman you marry only cares about the process.’ You may not know yourself, or maybe I’m wrong in my assessment – you are someone who lives life as a game, finding joy in the process itself. To be honest, you’re very attractive to women; you have a unique charm, and it’s pleasant to be around you. But once you go back, you need to hold back; you can’t accept everyone who approaches you. That will only waste your energy and time, and in the end you’ll achieve nothing. Moreover, not every woman is like me – some of them will cause you trouble. ’I kept her words in mind, because they were warnings from a woman who had experienced love and marriage as she was about to cut off contact with me. In this world, many things happen the moment one knows about them; if one doesn’t know, they simply do not exist. This way of life only came to an end after I returned to Shenzhen; the door to desire was finally closed, with the company of friends and family. To this day, no one who knows me is aware of this experience of mine. When leaving Huizhou, I changed all the contact information that could lead to me, and I also got rid of all the contact information that could lead to them. I can’t overcome my instincts, so I have no choice but to escape. After I left, in January of the following year, BILL also left Huizhou and returned to Chongqing, where he opened a Nike specialty store as well as a paper model shop. BILL’s skills in creating paper models are truly at a professional level; he creates models of German railway guns from World War II, with turrets that can be rotated using hand levers to control the gears inside. Details such as the fire extinguishers on the vehicles and the propellers used to propel the guns are all executed perfectly. That year, there was another person who had a great influence on me, and that was ERIC. ERIC is a typical hedonist; he bought a car before even having a house – a 2.0 luxury version of the Peugeot 307, whose price at that time was enough to buy a Mondeo. An 80-year-old man should rarely possess such maturity and achievements; my four-month salary is only equal to his monthly income, or perhaps even more. He often points out my shortcomings and weaknesses directly, and I am very grateful to him. I know that, as my supervisor, he doesn’t see me as a subordinate; rather, he treats me as a friend. I remember him saying to me, ‘LANKS, you have one flaw: you think too much before taking action. In the future, you should think less and act more.’ ’It also told me the workplace rule that ‘it’s better to have engaged in prostitution together than to go through gun battles together’; of course, by prostitution here is meant something in a broader sense, referring to acting in collusion with others. For a man, it’s very important to have a* habit, that of reflecting on oneself in order to improve. Only in this way can one understand one’s strengths and weaknesses. With ERIC’s help, I developed this habit; though there are some bad habits that I just can’t get rid of. A year later, after learning from my colleague in Shenzhen that ERIC was about to be transferred back there, I began to seriously consider my future. I realized that I wouldn’t be able to make any further progress here. Having just entered the workforce and still young with plenty of energy, I should find a job with a relatively fast pace to gain experience; the lifestyle in this city isn’t what I want. ERIC didn’t tell me he was going to be transferred back to Shenzhen; he had his own difficulties, his own supervisors, and one has to do what is required of them in their position. On the day we were both transferred from Shenzhen to Huizhou, he hinted to me that his presence here was merely a stepping stone – a way to advance from a sales position to that of sales manager – and that he would return. At that time, we both thought the duration would be at least 2 years. I started paying attention to job listings in Shenzhen; my sister told me that PC is currently planning to hire new employees. On the PC’s homepage, I found the job listings for that company. After comparing the requirements, I, who am usually extremely confident, felt uneasy, because this company, which ranks among the top 50 of the world’s Fortune 500 companies, had requirements that were incredibly strict. Three days after submitting my resume, I received a call for an interview. What followed were five rounds of interviews, held intermittently over a period of about a month. The company is going through reforms this month; the foreign executives are being replaced, and no one is in charge anymore. As a result, those of us below are extremely idle. I have time to keep working on writing in the afternoon~ There was a group interview first; after a brief self-introduction, the HR department gave us a set of questions. There were only two questions, both in English. My English is very poor – I can barely understand it. The general idea of the questions was: 1. Please list your five professional skills ； 2. Please list your five non-professional skills. A few people got up and left; I saw that the test questions they had left on the table were blank. An interviewer sitting next to me saw that I was answering in Chinese and gave me a sarcastic smile (it was a really vile smile; at that moment I really wanted to slap him, damn him! ). My thought at the time was simple: rather than using my poor, error-ridden English, it was better to use precise and concise expressions in Chinese. I don’t believe that a human resources manager with black hair only knows English! After returning to Huizhou, I really had no desire to work. For several days in a row, I spent my days fishing with ARLLY at West Lake, and at night I searched the internet for any information related to PC, studying PC products as well as their corporate culture. A week has passed, and there’s no news from PC. To be honest, I didn’t answer the questions in English as required, so I’m not sure what to do. On the eighth day, I received notification of a second round of interviews. I took a day off, set out in the morning, and arrived at PC at noon – there were still over ten minutes left until the scheduled 11 o’clock. I was the only person in the waiting room; I didn’t see any other candidates. While I was wondering what was going on, a man came out. He introduced himself first; his surname was Wang, and he was the MD of the sales department. He would be the one to conduct the interview with me alone today. He was holding a piece of paper; after glancing at it, he called out my name correctly. I saw that different times were followed by different names on that paper. This user-friendly approach is far better than those state-owned companies that bring everyone together at once and then call each person’s name to let them enter; it has also greatly increased my goodwill toward this company. Most of the questions asked during the interview in the meeting room were within my expectations; they had no technical complexity at all. Thanks to thorough preparation in advance, I had rehearsed countless times in my mind what kind of responses to use and how to handle objections. I even practiced in front of a mirror the day before the interview. I know that when such companies hire sales staff, they assess not only logical thinking and reaction skills but also body language and eye contact during responses. However, I didn’t expect Wang XX to get up after the interview and say, “Well, it’s almost 12 o’clock; I should take a break now. Let’s go eat somewhere and continue talking while we eat.” Are you in a hurry to get back? ” I can’t remember at all what I ate that day, because while eating my brain was working at full capacity, with no space left for the nerves responsible for sensing taste. Every detail, every action, every word went through my brain before being expressed. I talked a lot with Wang XX – about my college life and my previous job at GS, about my friends and my family, about the specialties of Huizhou, as well as the hardships Wang XX faced when he first came to Shenzhen to make a living. We spent almost two hours eating this meal. When Wang XX and I returned to the office, he was about to go in while I was about to leave. At the moment we shook hands to say goodbye, I knew that the interview had truly come to an end. However, at that time I didn’t know that after Wang XX returned, he would write in the interview record, ‘If this person is hired, please assign them to my department,’ and that he would become my direct supervisor a few weeks later, serving as another mentor to help me grow... After that, all interviews were conducted on a one-to-many basis. In the third round, there were interviews conducted simultaneously by the personnel department and the regional managers of the branches. In the fourth round, an occupational assessment specialist from headquarters and his translator joined as well. I remember that little translator being quite pretty; for some reason, the moment I saw that Japanese girl in an office outfit, I immediately thought of SM (probably because I had watched too many Japanese porn videos before – what a sin). ) At this point, the opposing opinions also became relatively sharp, and sometimes even strange. I remember that after I gave the answer that \"My previous work experience has taught me that when there are problems with coordination at work, I should put myself in others’ shoes and not expect them to act according to my standards and ideas,\" Tian X (the regional manager here) immediately said, \"Do you mean that everyone else’s standards are inferior to yours, or did your former colleagues disappoint you?\" ” I really didn’t know how to respond at the time; I just said, “You’ve misunderstood what I meant.” ” It was only after starting work as a PC salesperson that I realized how lucky I was, because Tian X is a man with enormous confidence and who is extremely showy; he said more than once in team meetings, \"To be a PC salesperson, one must be showy!\" You must always remember that you are the ones who provide for those purchasers; if you act in a submissive manner, don’t go out and embarrass PC! ” My unintentional mistake happened to suit Tian X’s tastes – the tastes of a man whose family wealth exceeds ten million, who has just turned thirty, who is highly capable, and who possesses considerable resources. I later found out that the PC Shenzhen branch had three colleagues whose family fortunes were each worth at least 10 million; two men and one woman, all of whom put aside their family’s influence and lived independently. That woman is 82 years old; she’s the only child in her family. She left home on her own and came to Shenzhen. Her current boyfriend is really lucky! Another guy has already changed jobs; he was recruited by a headhunting firm... The person who conducted the final round of interviews with me was Minister Takahashi from the PC headquarters. This Japanese man, who spoke fluent Chinese and seemed quite refined, asked me many rude questions. I knew his intention was to embarrass me first, and then see my reaction time and problem-solving skills. At first, he asked me, \"Mr. X, I’ve seen your resume. From it, it seems like you’re not focused on your duties. At university, you should have been studying*, but instead you were working outside, even in a full-time job. People like you are not what companies need.\" ” I replied, \"First of all, despite what you say about me not focusing on my studies, I completed all my required credits and graduated successfully, finishing the education I was supposed to complete.\" ； The comments in those performance reviews and employment verification letters affirmed my dedication and capabilities at work. The reason I didn’t focus on my studies during my time in school was that I didn’t want to carry the confusion I felt when first entering society with me once I actually started working. These different types of work have helped me understand my strengths and weaknesses, and figure out what I am good at and what I am not. This is why I want to join PC now; it’s why I am here sitting with you in this interview, because I know that sales is the field where I excel. ” (During my junior year, I worked at the Youth Workers Department of the Provincial Committee of the Communist Youth League for over three months. Later, I worked selling beverages at COFCO Coca-Cola, and I was also involved in developing platform programs in Mobile’s SMS value-added services department. When leaving those companies, I took care to obtain a work certificate, including my contact information and the names of people I could reach out to; if anyone contacted them to verify my situation, I had already bribed those people to speak well of me.) There’s another question that stands out in my memory: that Japanese guy asked, “You mentioned on your resume that your monthly salary is between 3,500 and 4,500 – why such a large range?” You can definitely write down an accurate number! Is there a lot of speculation in the way you write? Your bottom line is 3500, but you’re afraid that this figure is below the PC standard; therefore, I understand that you are an dishonest person. ”(I swear on my conscience, I really didn’t think that way while writing my resume; I just saw that everyone else wrote XXX――-XXX, so I wrote it the same way.) ) At that time, I didn’t know how to answer that question, so I had to pretend to be humble and say, “I’m sorry; I didn’t notice that when editing my resume. Thank you for your kind guidance today; I will be more careful in the future.” ” The interview lasted for over half an hour and finally came to an end. That night, I received a call from Wang XX, who told me that although the final decision from headquarters hadn’t been made yet, it was likely that I would be the one chosen for the position, and that I could start going through the procedures to leave GS right away. And so, after another whole year and three days, I returned to Shenzhen. Hehe... There are mainly two paths for those who study computer science: becoming a programmer or working in sales... There are no other options. The HR department at PC originally told me to report for duty on August 15th, but later Wang XX called me; he was very busy and asked me to start working as early as possible. Actually, I have already completed the resignation process at GS. Since I have worked there for exactly one year and am eligible for annual leave, ERIC suggested that I take 14 days of annual leave first before resigning. (The annual leave is paid; ERIC helped me apply for it first, and then I submitted my resignation to the headquarters.) I had originally planned to return to my hometown to rest for half a month, but after consulting with ERIC, I returned to Shenzhen on August 3rd and reported for duty at PC on the 4th. On the 3rd, I returned to Shenzhen in ERIC’s car. Before that, I often went back to Shenzhen with him on weekends. My mother and sister are in Shenzhen, and most of his friends are there as well. But he came back mainly for a woman; I’ve only seen her once. She’s quite pretty, but a bit plump – not my type. On the day we returned to Shenzhen, I remember the weather was nice, and we were both in a good mood. I’ve found that most people experience joy when there is a sudden change in their otherwise unchanging lives – whether it’s at work, in life, or in love. It’s the same in all these areas. Therefore, humans are inherently changeable; deep down, they long for change and the passion that comes with changes in life. That day on the Shenhuai Expressway, we listened to music by a Russian band; it’s highly recommended – the music is great. The band’s name is LUBE, and their CDs are available at a small store called Old Paradise, located in the Foreign Trade Mall behind Huqiang Maoye. ) They pushed the car’s speed to 150 KM/H, and the butterflies and moths that were smashed to pieces against the windows thrilled us both. When ERIC saw a Peugeot 607 ahead, he chased after it, opened the car window and shouted, \"Bro, wait for me! I’m your brother.\" ”When they realized it was a woman driving, they started howling like wolves again. We passed by a strawberry field on the way, and we got out of the car to steal and eat lots of strawberries. I don’t have the courage to start working on my own yet; I plan to pursue my own business in five years. Five years is one phase after all, **and there’s also something called the ‘11th Five-Year Plan’, right? My family helped pay the down payment for my house; I was only responsible for the monthly mortgage payments, as well as various other expenses such as those related to renovation and property taxes. So I could still manage to cover those costs… Continuing… After moving to Shenzhen and starting work at PC, I returned to Huizhou only once, in November. It was on a business trip; after finishing my work, I had dinner with some of my former colleagues, and I stayed at BILL’s place that night. BILL continued to work on his paper models and led an indulgent lifestyle, but he also realized that he should choose to escape from that situation. That night, the two of us sighed together, realizing that there are more sighs than laughter in life. BILL came to Huizhou for the women. In college, his girlfriend was a year ahead of him and her name was VIKE. BILL is very attached to this woman, because he has shown me many photos of him with her. After graduating, this woman worked at a monopolistic state-owned enterprise in Huizhou (a really great workplace). At that time, BILL was still in his senior year of college in Guangzhou. At first, the two of them kept in regular contact; whenever VIKE had time, she would go to Guangzhou to see him, and later it was BILL who went to Huizhou to see her. After graduating, BILL gave up many opportunities and resolutely went to Huizhou by himself. However, in less than two months, VIKE said she wanted to marry someone else and break up with BILL. BILL was at a loss; he stayed indoors for over twenty days, with a beard as long as Marx’s. Later, while organizing the computer, I found VIKE’s diary (VIKE had been using BILL’s computer up to that point). It records the various hardships that VIKE faced when she first arrived in Huizhou on her own. During that time, a man at work treated her very well and was persistent in his efforts toward her; the key point is that this man was the son of a bureau leader. One night, with heavy rain outside, VIKE was at home by herself, browsing the internet and chatting with that man. She told him that she suddenly felt like having yogurt. Several dozen minutes later, the man arrived at her door, drenched in rain, carrying a box of yogurt. Then, there was thundering outside, and something went wrong inside. All of this happened before I came to Huizhou. BILL often says that his love was defeated by yogurt, which is why he hates all dairy products, just as I hate Shanghai. Seeing someone drink yogurt, BILL imitated Wu Zongxian and said that yogurt is sweet and mild in nature, and drinking too much of it can be harmful to health. But BILL only hates yogurt; he says he understands VIKE, understands VIKE’s choices. He knows that VIKE still thinks of him, and he can understand why VIKE was attracted to that man. VIKE simply made a choice that was in her own interest, given the realities of life. A woman can, at different times, use the same love to deeply love different men. A man can, during the same period of time, with the same love, love different women lightly. For women, love is like listening to music in a room; they can’t tolerate listening to two songs at the same time, but they can choose to change the track. For a man, love is like looking at oil paintings in a room; he doesn’t mind having several of them, as this doesn’t affect his ability to appreciate different painting styles. Yet the one he likes the most, he will never discard. He will wrap it up and store it in his safe, and even if it’s lost, he will do everything possible to find a fake version to replace it. Probably most men are practical and rational; they don’t like to act on impulse. After being hurt once, they learn how to protect themselves. I don’t love much; I only love a little. Once I realize something isn’t right, I can simply turn away and leave. That’s how the concept of selfishness came about. After ERIC returned to Shenzhen, he didn’t keep in much contact with me; over half a year passed, and we only met twice and had a few phone calls. He had just taken on the role of supervisor and was very busy, while I was overwhelmed by life to the point of barely being able to breathe. Hehe... I’ve been away from Huizhou for almost a year now... But I really liked that place; it was comfortable, with no stress. Roles like project manager, department manager, architect, system analyst – these are all ‘senior’ programmer positions, and while the income can increase, the price to pay is a monotonous lifestyle and physical exhaustion... During the New Year, I returned to Nanchang; nothing there had changed... I’m still quite used to Nanchang... When I started living in Shenzhen, I almost got ruined by money... A few days before I returned to Shenzhen, my sister went to Chengdu, where a great man was waiting for her there. A month later, my mother passed away too, leaving me alone here. Before leaving, my sister used almost all of her savings to help me buy a house in Shenzhen; she paid the down payment, and I am responsible for making the monthly payments. She also left 25,000 yuan for the renovation costs. (Previously in Shenzhen, we rented a house to live in.) Over these past few months, my weight has dropped sharply; I’m 176 cm tall, but now my weight is less than 120 pounds. ) I experienced unprecedented hardship. A job that has just started requires a great deal of time and effort to learn* and to put into practice. The processes within the PC, workplace communication, and getting to know new colleagues are all crucial for me. After work, I still have to visit various building material markets, compare prices, and buy tiles, paint, wood, and so on. Since I don’t have the money to hire a professional renovation company and am not familiar with market prices, I go on Sundays to the homes in the neighborhood that are under construction. If I see a worker doing a good job, I discuss things with him and offer him the same salary if he agrees to work for me. To save on delivery costs, I took apart the boxes of tiles at night and carried them into the elevator in groups of three. (The tile pieces are all 60x60 cm in size and very heavy; the wood is too heavy to move. It cost 200 yuan for transportation – really expensive.) Every night before going to bed, despite being very tired, I still lie in bed and think about my work for that day: what I did well, what I still need to improve, which words I used incorrectly and how I should have spoken instead, which colleagues are difficult to get along with and how I can deal with them. After that, I close my eyes and wait for tomorrow to begin. During this time, I am truly grateful to my supervisor, Wang XX. After learning that I was busy with the renovation work, he introduced me to a cost-effective building materials market where I could purchase the materials needed, and he also taught me the key points to keep in mind during the renovation process. During working hours, I sneaked back home to act as a supervisor; he also helped me carry the workload. After work, they worked overtime with me and patiently taught me the company’s procedures. (There are still many good people these days.) ) Soon after, I was overwhelmed by financial pressures; the 25,000 yuan left by my sister was used up quickly, and my previous savings of over 10,000 yuan also vanished fast. After more than two months, the renovation was finally completed. Even with careful budgeting, it still cost over 30,000 yuan, and I hadn’t bought any furniture yet. To save on rent, after the new apartment was furnished and the windows were left open for a month, I moved in. I bought the furniture with my newly earned salary; only the sofa and dining table remained unsurchased. To buy all these things as early as possible, I have been much more frugal compared to my previous spending habits. (Though my mom still says I’m a decadent spendthrift.) ) At that time, I realized the importance of saving money, understood the hardships of life, and knew how difficult it is to support a family. There is a monthly payment of 2.2K that must be made on time, without any delay of even one day, in addition to a property management fee of 1.8 per square meter, which amounts to 142.2. There are also costs for electricity and water, as well as gas fees – expenses that have to be paid whenever they are used. (Damn Shenzhen Gas Company! They charged me over 900 yuan when setting up the gas supply!) Before long, the newspapers reported that Guangdong had started offering free access; damn it! ) Fortunately, all the household appliances were already there; not one was missing, otherwise it would have been even worse. A month and a half was saved, and the sofa and dining table were bought. Due to the construction of Metro Line 3, a large furniture market next to the residential complex was going to move, so I rushed there and managed to get a good deal. The sofa originally cost 4,500, but I managed to get it for 2,500. The solid wood dining table was purchased as part of a set, so it cost 1,500 (including the four matching chairs). In total, I spent 4,000. After buying these, I’m out of money again; I’m waiting for my salary next month to buy a computer and get internet service. But human plans cannot match fate’s decisions; just when things are already bad, more trouble strikes – the salary hasn’t been paid yet, and then the notice from the management arrives. The property title was issued, but I had to pay all sorts of taxes just to get it – in total, it was over 7K. I was absolutely furious at that moment! From the central authorities all the way down to the developers. But the money still had to be paid; I borrowed 5K from a friend to cover it. Over the next two months, I had to save money in order to repay the debts – both those to the bank and those to my friend. The most frustrating part is that I was robbed once as well, losing 800. Fortunately, it was a civilized robbery – they only wanted the money and took nothing else; they didn’t touch me either. Otherwise, the loss would have been even worse. Before leaving, those three robbers even thanked me; what the fuck, such politeness! Half a year has passed, and I have finally recovered, getting through this dark period in my life. I should thank my family; their indifference helped me realize that my life isn’t just about me alone. It taught me about responsibility, the importance of saving money for emergencies, and many other things. In fact, even during my college years, my mother deliberately trained me in financial matters. In my first year, my living expenses were 600, and I led a comfortable life ； In my sophomore year, the living expenses were reduced to 500, and at that time it was more than enough for my life on campus ； In my junior year, it rose to 400, and in my senior year, it dropped to just 300. By my junior year, the ease I had experienced before made it very difficult for me to adjust, so I started looking for ways to make money; this was also what my mother wanted. Unfortunately, what allowed me to become financially secure again wasn’t the few hundred yuan I earned from working, but the money I made by selling pornographic DVDs at school – something that surely wasn’t part of my mother’s original plans. I argued with my girlfriend at that time countless times over the matter of selling pornographic discs; back then, she was still a kind girl who always tried to view things in an idealistic way. Later, due to the popularity of BT downloads over the Internet, my porn DVD business had to close. In the days that followed, things returned to normal for me, but I had changed a lot; I had become completely independent in terms of my life and finances, and I now had the ability to start my own little family, even though for now it only includes me. At the end of autumn, my mother said it was too cold in Chengdu, and by then the house in Shenzhen was ready as well, so I brought my mother back from Chengdu. With the income from PCs, after deducting various fixed and variable expenses, there is more than enough to support one person. Moreover, I work in sales; after getting familiar with the processes and various purchasing methods, I often earn additional income beyond my regular salary. I also took out a mortgage on my house to get 80,000 yuan, which I used to trade stocks with ERIC. I bought what he bought, and sold what he sold, and I made about 20,000 yuan in profits. At that time, I had just celebrated my 24th birthday. Weekend Lover: When I met her, I was struggling alone through those busy days. Meeting her was actually just a coincidence, but being with her was inevitable; in the end, becoming weekend lovers was something that happened naturally. It was Friday, and after work I went to see ERIC. After a week of hard work, we planned to go to Bu Ben Se Color to have some drinks together that evening. But then that guy got a phone call and drove away, leaving me alone near the shopping mall, forcing me to take the subway home by myself. Before heading home, I ordered something from Yonghe Soy Milk nearby to have as dinner. She sat right across from me, with curly hair falling over her shoulders; she had great skin, and her handbag, which was placed beside her, was quite unique (that bag was stolen later on). Out of courtesy toward a refined woman, I kept staring at her. She must have realized that I was staring at her; she turned her head away, looking out the window. Her lips moved slightly, and I could see them clearly opening and closing – it seemed like she was saying ‘idiot’. Then she picked up the soy milk that the waiter had just brought over, took a big sip, held it in her mouth for a while, and presumably couldn’t hold back any longer, so she spat it out. I couldn’t help but laugh either. Seeing her pick up the stainless steel spoon from the table and put it in her mouth to cool it down, I went over, placed the mint candies I had with me on her desk, and said, “Put one in your mouth; it will make you feel better. Otherwise, your mouth will swell later.” Then I turned around, brought my own things over, sat down across from her, and pointed at my soy milk, saying, “Remember, only the ones with straws are frozen.” ” That’s how we met. That day, due to the usual troubles she faced every month as well as the frustration caused by working overtime, the first thing she said to me was ‘idiot’. Before parting, I wrote ‘the woman who called me an idiot’ in my phone’s contact book and handed it to her; she smiled and saved her number and name. On my way back, I was very happy; I was walking with my hands in my pants pockets when I accidentally fell into a hole that a sanitation worker had dug by the road to plant a tree. I didn’t have time to pull my hands out to support myself, and my mouth hit the soil, causing it to bleed and swell up as soon as I got back. Later she told me that on her way back, driven by a woman’s vanity of being admired, she was in a good mood. Once home, she thought back to everything that had happened several times, but she didn’t imagine various possible outcomes for what might happen next. Because this clever woman understood that there is usually no joy in the play, and people can still only live in dreams. On Saturday, the next day, I spent the whole day sanding the walls that had just been tiled at home. At noon on Sunday, I called her number and talked to her on the phone for a while; she asked me to go with her to the East Gate to buy clothes. She spent an entire afternoon without buying anything, while I, at Sun Department Store, saw LEE items on sale at 50% off and bought a pair of pants. Since we were financially strained during that time, in order to save money, my partner and I went to KFC for dinner. While placing our orders, a young girl who seemed to be a student stood next to us and greeted us skillfully: \"Sir, what would you like to order?\" ” “Get me a Mexican chicken wrap. ” “A Mexican chicken wrap, what else would you like? ” “By the way, do your chicken rolls contain Sudan Red? ” “Sir, there is no Sudan red; you can eat it with confidence. ” “Oh... then I don’t want the chicken roll. Just give me a Family Takeout Set. ” The little girl looked at me, then at her, standing there, at a loss. She smiled, pushed me away, and said to the girl, “Sorry, one takeout order, please. Thank you.” ” She has a great sense of humor; she had a wonderful time during this half day, and I could tell. To be honest, I approached her out of simple affection, just like a child who sees a toy they like and reaches out to take it. On our third meeting, while eating together, I could no longer hold back my desire to have her; I knew my chances of success were high, so I dared to give her hints. I shifted the topic of conversation from the hardships of living in Shenzhen to hormone secretion. I **ed with her that day, but it didn’t happen.** As I kissed her, I stripped her of her clothes. When I tried to enter her, she pushed me away, covered herself with the blanket, and kept saying, “I’m sorry, I’m not used to this; it will leave a negative impact.” ”After calming down my physical desires, I said to her, “There’s nothing to be sorry about. The premise of happiness is that no one should get hurt. It’s good that you said something in time; otherwise I would have had to sing ‘Flower Field Mistake’ when I got back.” ” She looked at me in confusion, and I continued, “Haven’t heard of it?” The first sentence is ‘I made a mistake’. If you’re interested, go back and listen to it. ” We just talked about music while getting dressed; she wouldn’t let me take her there and left for home as if running away. As soon as I start working, I forget everything that has nothing to do with work. On PCs, in a sense, it’s somewhat similar to working in state-owned enterprises – there is no distribution based on effort; perhaps all large companies are like this once the superficial glories are taken away. At first, Wang XX only assigned me some tasks that required only execution, without any need for decision-making. I made sure that once these tasks were in my hands, he wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore. Actually, for those of us who work for others and follow our supervisors, there is one very important principle: regarding the tasks assigned to us, we must ensure that, without causing any trouble to our supervisor, he still feels that everything is under his control. I remember listening to Yu Shiwai’s lectures before, and he mentioned a case that illustrated this very principle. The case goes roughly like this: A few years ago, when Yu Shiwai was working as a professional manager for a Japanese airline, the company needed to hold a board meeting in New York. He was asked to find the best hotel, and specific requirements were given regarding the rooms based on each director’s preferences; the deadline was 5 days. It was the peak season for hotels in New York at that time. Yu checked many hotels, but none were suitable. Three days passed without any success. During those seemingly fruitless days, Yu sent an email to the president every night, with a simple message: ‘I went to XX Hotel today; nothing suitable was available. Please be patient as I will do my best to resolve this.’ The president did not reply. On the fourth day, Yu found one that suited the requirements, but it was already reserved by someone else. Still, Yu emailed the president in the evening to update him on the progress and the difficulties encountered, promising to resolve them, but the president still did not respond. On the fifth day, Yu found the person who had reserved the room; after explaining the situation, he exchanged it for a more expensive and better room. After Yu sent an email stating that all rooms had been reserved as requested, the president replied with three words: ‘Well done!’ ’ That’s right; bosses only care about the results. But if you make your boss worry while they’re waiting for those results, that is your failure. Supervisors all hope to be able to drink coffee in the office and play golf outside while keeping an overview of the situation. If you don’t report on how things are progressing, how can they have the mood to drink coffee? Smart subordinates know that when communicating with their supervisors, it is about providing reports, not seeking permission! If your supervisor has different ideas, they will naturally tell you what to do; asking too many unnecessary questions will only call your abilities into question. There are also many ways to provide reports, and one should not make it seem to the supervisor that their life is constantly disturbed by one’s reports. Yu Shiwai’s lectures contain many principles and examples that are very useful for young people like us who have just started working. I remember that at the end of the lecture, Yu Shiwai said that everyone should know what their core competitive strengths are. In other words, one needs to be aware of the qualities or skills that others do not possess, and then determine a role that allows them to utilize those strengths; in this way, there will be no worry about not having anyone willing to hire them. If you calm down and find not a shred of competitiveness in yourself, then you should go back to school; acquire some competitiveness before entering the world again – don’t waste time. Of course, some traits are innate or acquired in a particular environment from an early age; it’s very difficult to learn such traits later on. You can’t expect a bamboo plant with ambition to turn into rosewood through grafting. Two months later, I quickly won Wang XX’s trust; he began to entrust me with more work, while focusing on stocks and funds that were performing very well at that time. Of course, for anything related to costs, I will consult him and have him confirm it before taking action. He started taking me along during negotiations, introducing me to the purchasing staff of various companies, and letting me get in touch with some gray-market channels. I remember it was in the third month that I first dealt with gray channels; he took me to meet the manager of a small trading company. After returning, he said to me, “He wants some goods. Use the method I told you before – sell them at a price 10 points lower than the company’s regular price. Decide for yourself how many points to give him as a discount. Do you know how to do this?” ” After receiving the money, I handed it all over to Wang XX. He refused to keep it and gave it to me, saying, \"You’ve worked hard these past days; consider this as my way of treating your whole family to a meal.\" ”I knew it was pointless to refuse, so I said nothing, took the money back, and put it in my pocket. He got up, walked over to the window, looked outside, and said, “Don’t think it’s not enough; these aren’t interesting. It’s only interesting when there’s a chance to close big deals.” ” Of course, all large orders are handled directly with him. I never knew who took the goods; I only carried out the operations and made the transfers with his approval. When it was time to pay me, he told me that he and the person who took the goods would split the money evenly, and then he would split his half with me as well. Wang is very smart, but I’m not stupid either; I certainly don’t have the right to split things 50-50 with him. But when I received my share, I was still very grateful to him, because he had more than me as his subordinates; he chose me, gave me the opportunity, and taught me a lot. Once I became proficient at it, Wang XX hardly had to do anything anymore; he just needed to make a few calls to get the largest share. Moreover, he had another reason for doing this. I reported all the data to headquarters, I prepared all the documents, and my ID was recorded for every shipment. All he had to do was sign to confirm it; in case anyone investigates, there will be no evidence pointing to him – at most he could be accused of poor management and wrong staffing decisions. If you get involved in such things, you’ll have to pay the price sooner or later; I took something that wasn’t mine, so naturally I have to bear the risks. Fortunately, Wang XX and I worked well together, leaving no traces behind. To ease my concerns, during a private meal, Wang also told me about some things that Tian X was working on. We are less than one-tenth of him. At that moment, I remembered what ERIC had told me: ‘It’s better to have sex together than to go through gun battles together.’ ’ I now understand why PC loses over a billion yuan each year in China, and why those losses have to be covered by the profits from North America and Europe. So I wasn’t worried; the law doesn’t apply to everyone, and if anyone really does get held accountable, it won’t be me. ‘I understood the principle that ‘the bold will starve to death, while the timid will die of fear’ very early on. With these earnings, I can handle things on my own when it comes to getting property deeds; I can also buy furniture by myself. In my free time, I sometimes go to bars with friends to drink JEENY WALKER, spending an amount equivalent to what an ordinary worker earns in a month. As someone who has been graduated for just over a year, when I see peers who keep changing jobs, complain constantly about social injustice, and worry about rent, I have to admit that sometimes I feel a sense of superiority, an inexplicable pride, because I am also an ordinary person. Going through darkness isn’t really scary; what’s scary is failing to preserve the kindness in one’s heart after going through it. No matter what you do, the bottom line is not to harm friends for personal gain. Only in this way can you continue to live a happy and healthy life, even though such happiness can sometimes be a bit selfish. When faced with setbacks, stay optimistic. Feeling depressed only makes your mood worse. Your expression reflects your inner state, and friends and colleagues don’t want to be around someone who is always gloomy. Moreover, when you’re depressed, you’re more likely to mess up whatever you do next; that’s how bad luck arises – it’s something you bring upon yourself. I am glad that I was able to come into contact with those so-called dark aspects of society at such an early age. What is maturity? The more experiences one has, the more mature one becomes. Those who can see through an extremely complex situation at a glance are not born that way; it’s because they understand too well the dark sides of society and people’s hearts. After seeing through it, they say nothing, merely smile, for they have already paid the price for maturity. This also reminds me of something that ‘Curly’ said later on (I’ve continued to call her Curly ever since). That day I was reading the newspaper, which said that in a few years the ratio of married men to married women in China would be severely imbalanced, with there being tens of millions more men than women. Moreover, the statistics did not take into account the large number of women working in the service sector. I joked, pointing at the newspaper, \"In a few years, you’ll see a price surge just like with stocks right now!\" I’m in trouble; I need to find a child bride as soon as possible. ”She said, “Don’t worry; there will be women who marry you, and the woman who marries you should feel quite happy as well.” ”I said nothing. She sighed, and after a long while, she said, “Because with you, there are us women who serve as pawns for her.” ” After Curly ran away that day, she didn’t get in touch with me for over a week; of course, I didn’t get in touch with her either. One day, I suddenly received a text message from her that read: “You’ve been busy lately, right?” When you’re free, I’ll take you out for a meal. ” “Eating isn’t my goal; you should be clear about what my goal is. Are you no longer afraid of shadows? ”I don’t like using indirect methods and ambiguous tactics to achieve my goals, because ambiguity usually stimulates a woman’s fantasies. If a woman isn’t firm enough, she can easily get hurt once she realizes the purpose behind your ambiguous behavior. “It is precisely because there are already shadows that one wants to get rid of them completely. ” I understand your logic, but I want to remind you that it might just be something or someone that has given you an impulse to do this right now. How about this: I’ll schedule a meeting with you again at the same time tomorrow. That way there’s a buffer period, which is good for both of us. ” The next day, I called her, and without any hesitation, we arranged a time and place to meet. After returning to Shenzhen, due to work and life pressures, I held it in for over three months. After having dinner together, we went into the room; the moment I closed the door behind us, I pulled her towards me, hugged her tightly and kissed her. She didn’t refuse; on the contrary, she responded enthusiastically to my kisses. I carried her to the bed. Her skin was excellent, and the veins on her thighs could still be seen faintly in the dim light, which triggered an unprecedented urge in me. Before even removing her top, I entered her. After taking a bath, she lay down next to me, resting her head on my arm, and looked up at me saying, “It’s really strange.” ” “What’s strange? What’s strange about it? ” “When you suddenly hugged me just now, why did I feel as though we were a long-lost couple, with no sense of strangeness between us? ” I quickly changed the subject: “Actually, there’s something I need to confess to you… The reason it doesn’t feel strange is that the physiological structure of men is more or less the same everywhere. ” She muttered softly, \"Nonsense, I know that without you having to say it.\" ” The next day, we had lunch together and then went home separately; when parting, she got into the car without looking back. At that moment I knew that even if she didn’t get in touch with me later, I would look for her again. Later on, I would ask her out every weekend, and she never refused. I occasionally send her a text message in the early morning or late at night, and call her when I’m feeling down or happy. Later on, if I didn’t text or call her for a while, she would call me. With free time on the weekends, she also started to take the initiative to invite me to her place. She said she didn’t like the bed outside; she felt better in a familiar environment with a familiar scent on the bed. We meet almost every weekend, and when we do, it’s like two lovers who haven’t seen each other for a long time, but we aren’t lovers. Because we have never walked down the street holding hands, we have never been in public together with anyone else around, and we have never talked about the future… Every time, I would go to her place; at that time my house hadn’t been finished renovating yet and the place I rented was very messy, so I didn’t take her there. Later I moved elsewhere, and then my mother came over. So, she never knew where I lived. She has never asked either, and I have never brought it up on my own. One day, while eating at her home, I gave her a business card and said to her, “If one day my phone becomes unreachable, or if you lose my number, you can reach me through the other methods listed on it.” ” Then she gave me an address and said, “If one day I leave this city and you miss me, you can find me here; no matter how much time passes, you’ll be able to locate me.” ” That night, I couldn’t fall asleep at all; I watched her lying beside me, sleeping deeply and peacefully. I gently pushed myself closer to her pillow with my elbow, and she moved; she turned her body slightly, shifted her head so that it rested on my arm, then wrapped her arms around my neck and placed her legs on my stomach. All of these actions were carried out by her while she was asleep, executed with such precision as if it were a conditioned reflex. My mood suddenly became very complicated; I can’t describe exactly what it felt like, but I just sensed a slight warmth in my chest. I gave her cheek a gentle kiss, then closed my eyes, allowing my arms to go numb and lose sensation where they were closest to her thoughts. The next morning, we sat face to face having breakfast. She suddenly said, “Actually, I should thank you.” ” I looked up at her and said, “Thank me for what?” ” “Ah, never mind, I won’t say it. If I do, you’ll feel stressed. ” I put down my chopsticks and said, “You know what?” It’s a bad habit to stop speaking halfway through*; it’s like starting to defecate and then stopping, which causes discomfort. Pull it out; it will feel better. ” “Hello! I'm eating! ” “Well then, just say it, hehe.” “Actually, I need to thank you, because you helped me forget someone. ” This time, I didn’t change the subject. “Is he in Shenzhen too?” ” “I was there before; later I went abroad to Moscow. My mother never agreed to my relationship with him, and when he insisted on leaving, I decided to break up with him, thinking it was better to end things quickly rather than suffer longer. But during those six months since he left, I kept thinking about him, until I met you later on. ” “Hehe... really? Is he also using CK be perfume? ”I’m afraid she’ll keep talking. “Actually, there’s something I’ve always hesitated to tell you… That brand of perfume is everywhere; **old men everywhere use it!** ”Understanding my intentions, this clever woman helped me change the subject in a teasing way. Then she went on to say, “I’ll get married before I turn 28. It’s not because of you; it’s my mother who’s pushing me to do so. From you, I learned to face reality, so I’ll continue to live happily as I am now, and won’t get hurt anymore.” ” Hearing this, I don’t know whether to be happy for her or sad for myself. I often wonder if I’ve fallen in love with her I tried hard to restrain myself, telling myself that I could admire her and miss her, but I couldn’t fall in love with her. Because the way I and she started things was such that it was destined from the start that we wouldn’t have a conclusion. Actually, sometimes I regret starting things with her in this way. Once I was in the office and, since I had nothing much to do, I was playing a gold-mining game when I suddenly received her call: \"My sister came from Guangzhou yesterday. I took her for a walk around the area, and we happened to pass by your building. Do you want to come down and have dinner together?\" ” “I’m in a meeting; let’s do it another day. ” She didn’t say anything and hung up. It was 11:30 at that time, and she understood that no company would hold a meeting at such an hour. After rejecting her this time, we continued to be lovers on weekends; on ordinary days, unless there was something special, neither of us would disturb the other. One day that wasn’t a weekend, she got in touch with me; on her way home from work, her bag was stolen, and her wallet, phone, ID card, and house keys were all lost. She called the police. When I found her, a police officer was standing with her on the street waiting for me. As soon as she saw me, she started crying and said, \"Someone stole my phone; I didn’t want to bother you, but I only remembered your number, so I called you.\" ” She spoke incoherently, and it was also the first time I saw her cry. This relationship between her and me has continued to this day; I don’t know how much longer it will last. With her, I become very quiet and simple. She told me that when she is with me, she feels most authentic and relaxed… Life in Shenzhen is simple yet profound for me. Doing seemingly the same things every day. Most of the time, I feel happy; ever since I entered society, good luck and kind people have been by my side. At work, I think about going home early so as to have an earlier weekend; on weekends, I think about being able to start working again sooner. I remember one reader comment saying that such a life is actually a happy life; it’s just that many people don’t realize it. It’s not impossible to progress from a programmer to a lead architect, but there’s only one such person out of 100. I’ve always believed that programming requires talent... Besides, no matter what you do, being able to earn money is what matters most... Back in college, someone told me that those in technical fields can never compete with those in marketing, because technology follows the market trends... It’s best to understand technology first before entering the marketing field. I’ve been using this signature for a long time... To be honest, I really don’t remember what my signature used to be. Any hints? Hehe... So what do you think is the best way to navigate the workplace? A book of integrity? Integrity? Hate evil as if it were an enemy? Too prominent? And then use one’s own abilities to create a new future for oneself? I am indeed looking for an excuse. After all, when a person feels they owe someone something and experiences discomfort, and doesn’t have the means or ability to repay that debt, the only way to find relief is to give themselves an excuse. One can’t keep living in such discomfort forever, right? You say, ‘The most fundamental difference between humans and animals is that humans are rational.’ In fact, you might not understand that the most fundamental difference between most men and women is reason, and love that involves reason is not pure love. Love has an expiration date; after that, for a man, there is more of a sense of responsibility. Out of this sense of responsibility, he will continue to love you, but it won’t be the same kind of love as before. This phenomenon can be easily explained using economic theory, namely the law of diminishing marginal utility. In other words, the more of something you have, the less effect it has on you. For example, if you’re hungry, the first baozi tastes amazing, the second one is also delicious, the third is okay, the fourth makes you feel full, you can’t eat the fifth one, and just looking at the sixth one makes you annoyed! You would ask the waiter to bring the fruit platter right away... In other words, the role of the sixth baozi is zero or even negative. The law of diminishing marginal utility is an axiom in economics and one of the pillars of entire microeconomics. Hehe... Life goes on, so stories never end... I’ll finish it over the weekend and keep you updated... For men, nothing can be changed except for their abilities. To start a company, social connections, initial capital, personal charisma, and a way of thinking shaped by one’s environment from an early age… all of these are essential. The fact that you’re able to start your own company means you have advantages in these areas over others. I still don’t have the courage to go independent; I won’t consider it until five years from now. To be honest, it’s mainly because I already have a house and various responsibilities – I can’t survive without working. So, since I haven’t saved enough money, I dare not start my own business. Without those prerequisites, starting a business would be very difficult; it requires strong willpower and the ability to seize opportunities. Moreover, it’s admirable to have a woman who makes you want to persevere. It’s good this way too – it’s only with hope and dreams that life becomes meaningful, and it’s only then that stories happen every day. Just don’t have too many or too long-lasting dreams. As the saying goes, expectation is the longest form of despair, while despair is the perfect form of expectation. You, you troublemaker who wants chaos everywhere… on behalf of *, I revoke your right to return home. You can stay in Seoul forever; you’re not allowed to come back. Today is the weekend, so I’m going home early. I still need to go out with colleagues tonight; I’ll post what I wrote yesterday first. Since joining PC, my life has been very fulfilling. This is my fertile ground; on this platform, I feel like a fish in water. Of course, this might just be my own sense of satisfaction on my part. I can never overcome this flaw; I attribute it to the fact that I have never faced any major setbacks. Since I started keeping a diary, through all the challenges along the way, I’ve never fallen. It’s really great to work every day with a group of excellent people, each with their own unique qualities. The Chinese have a globally recognized skill, and that is imitation. No matter what product it is, once it falls into the hands of the Chinese, copies of it begin to fill the market. I can say without any modesty that I have brought this skill to full expression. The difference is that while others imitate the products and their appearance, I imitate excellent ways of thinking and various small habits. It is also this skill that has created a ‘copy’ – the me of today. This imitation is still being improved, and it will continue to be refined until I reach middle age... Before going to college, I was very shy, didn’t talk much, was thin, had a large head, and seemed rather dull-looking. My friends still often bring up my old graduation photos to tease me, saying I look like an Indian refugee. Mother would often recall, ‘When I was young, once I asked you to borrow a screwdriver from the neighbors. You didn’t return for a long time; when I went outside, I saw you standing at their door with your ear pressed against it. When you saw that I was angry, you explained that they were still eating, and it would be better to knock on the door after they finished eating.’ ’Eric was right about my judgment; I’ve always overthought things since I was young. In fact, when you actually do something, you find that it’s much simpler than you thought. Until I graduated, my mother stubbornly believed that I was smarter than others and should become a civil servant, marry a wife, and lead a quiet life. I used to argue with her all the time, but I don’t do that anymore, because I noticed that, at some point, she started seeking my opinion on everything. When I made a decision and she disagreed, I would ask her with a smile, \"So what do you think is a better way to handle this situation?\" ”The mother fell silent and strode away muttering. The four years in college completely changed me. For this, I want to thank the brothers who grew up with me in Nanchang; it was they who helped me change, and I learned so much from them. Even for my first SY experience, it was a brother who taught me; I remember it was in the ninth grade, and it seemed like we all agreed to start exploring this together. One day, a brother proudly told us that he had discovered that turning the faucet on his genitals while taking a shower gave him a strange sensation. That night, I figured out on my own how to use my right hand to intensify that sensation, and the next day I promptly dismissed their idea of using the faucet and demonstrated a new solution. Looking back now, that’s how it was back then – living without any concerns, in a simple and happy way. Those people are my true brothers. I’ve told myself time and again that even though we are now in different corners of the world, watching different times, we will always be brothers. My brothers and I share one common trait: an endless sense of confidence. We all believe that the world will not change just to suit us, but we can change the world – after all, this world belongs to us. Their confidence comes from the environment in which they grew up and the influence of their elders, while my confidence comes from vividly visualizing things and believing in them. I remember Napoleon. Hill said, ‘Unless confined by boundaries, thought has no limits.’ Rich and poor, noble and humble – they are all descendants of ideas. ’It would be great if those poor graduates who shut themselves off by using inferiority as an excuse could also understand this truth. After getting to know each other better on a conceptual level, Curly and I would often argue – from discussions about rising and falling housing prices to the land value-added tax; from Haruki Murakami’s \"Lost Paradise\" to Ryu Murakami’s \"Blue, Almost Transparent\"... Of course, most of these arguments ended with Curly running out of words. He would often say to me, \"You arrogant fool who always thinks your opinions are right. I might give you a sense of achievement for now, but one day you’ll fail, and I really want to see what happens then.\" ” I know that one day I will stumble too, but I look forward to that day, because I believe that every misfortune, every failure, and every heartache comes with a seed of equal size or even greater value. After meeting Curly, I never deliberately tried to get close to any other women. Once I was at her place, sitting on the sofa watching TV together. I was sitting there while she lay down with her head on my legs. Perhaps influenced by that situation, I became excited and happily told her about how well-behaved and honest I was. But right after saying that, I realized I had made a very silly mistake in front of this woman. As expected, she continued to stare at the TV without even looking up, and said coldly, \"It’s only natural that you’re well-behaved. Do you think you can find a woman like me just anywhere on the street?\" Just because you find them, will they definitely pay attention to you? Stop trying this on me in the future. ”I was speechless. After a while, she sat up and said, “It’s better if you don’t let me find out that you have relationships with other women, even though you mean nothing to me.” ”I was outwitted by Curly because of my own aphasia. It was also at this time that I noticed she had changed; she was different from before, or perhaps this was her true self. The world of PCs could be considered a fertile ground for everyone my age; here, I can grow freely without any constraints. Once, during a training session in Guangzhou, the instructor was Wang X from the headquarters. Ever since I first met him in Shenzhen, I have admired this person greatly; his calmness and confidence, along with his attention to detail and generosity, are all qualities that coexist perfectly in him. Before taking on the position of department head at the headquarters, he worked at the Shenzhen branch as well, and my colleagues told me many legendary stories about him. The theme of that training session was how to deal with objections, but the content focused more on how to ask effective questions and create Excel spreadsheets quickly. During the meal after the training, Wang X said, “I don’t expect all of you to achieve success and make a difference in PC in the future. After all, there are not many managerial positions available at PC. I only hope that by the time you leave PC, it will be etched in your bodies, and PC’s culture will flow through your veins; only then will you be able to face anything without fear, no matter where you go.” The nonsense I talked about in the training today is actually just bits and pieces of PC culture. ” Before I was completely marked as a PC, I began to engage in negotiations and confrontations, seeking a sense of achievement through those encounters. One experience that left a deep impression on me was when Wang XX took me to WL to discuss the contract; WL is also a multinational company, one of the world’s top 500 companies. Last year’s cooperation didn’t go smoothly due to issues with their internal processes. During the negotiations, the main points of disagreement regarding the contract revolved around the handling of defective products. Their procurement director was a foreign-educated \"sea turtle\". Before setting off, Wang XX briefly analyzed with me the problems associated with this client. For PC products, the defect rate is usually only 0.5 percent among other distributors; however, with ‘Turtle’, there have been instances where 6 out of 10 units delivered were defective. This is unacceptable for PC, and the terms of the new contract need to be changed in order to address this situation. During our arguments, both sides seemed to remain calm at all times. ‘’Turtle’ has his own lofty reasons for the existence of defective products; he believes that WL has more defective items than other distributors because in China, the customers who use their services are all premium members who have paid a lot of money, and they need to provide them with flawless products. Wang XX was unable to respond to him with convincing arguments; he simply said, “This won’t work. It will be difficult for us to explain this to our superiors, and moreover we won’t be able to obtain enough funds to cover these defective products. We still need to discuss and modify the contract.” ” The turtle wasn’t convinced and said, “Really?” Although it’s difficult for foreign companies to operate in China these days, PC shouldn’t be in such a tough situation that it can’t even come up with this amount of money, right? If that’s really the case, there’s nothing I can do; I’ll have to reconsider the necessity of working with you. ” Until then, I had always adhered to a* habit: when going out to negotiate with my supervisors, I never discussed the key points; I would merely organize and present the data, then sit aside and listen quietly, adding only a few remarks, because I knew that it wasn’t my role as someone at my level to discuss those key points. But that day I just couldn’t hold back; I ignored all business etiquette, took out two cigarettes, lit one, and then handed one to Turtle, asking, “Do you smoke?” ”The turtle took it, and after I helped him light it, I continued, “Actually, PC doesn’t lack money; its annual turnover worldwide is higher than the entire GDP of Guangzhou in a whole year. It still has to spend money where it needs to, but PC just doesn’t want to spend it on things that aren’t worth it or shouldn’t be spent – it tries to save wherever possible.” ”The turtle held a cigarette, with a stiff smile on his face. “To be honest, before coming here, the leaders at our headquarters instructed us that we should give up on those customers who have low sales volumes and for whom it’s impossible to control costs. We really don’t know how to bring this up today, after all, we have been working together for such a long time, and you are a well-known company. I’m not afraid of embarrassing you – when talking to other smaller distributors, I often use your brand name to impress them, saying, ‘If you’re not going to purchase PC products, then whose will you buy from?’ WL has been cooperating with us all along. ’As soon as they heard that, they placed an order right away. ” ‘’Turtle’ said nothing, took a drag from his cigarette, and continued to look at me. “But, to be honest, we find it very difficult to work with you. Serving a niche audience is your business model and your unique selling point, but what benefit does that bring to PCs? Our products simply won’t sell well in your market, and the supply price is the same everywhere in the world. You purchase them at the same price as other competitors, but you can sell them at a price much higher than that of your competitors; all the profit goes to you, with PC having nothing to do with it. And among WL’s similar products, PC is one of the few brands that these people prefer, as you should be well aware. So, really, we’re in a difficult situation. We hope you can submit a report to your boss to have our contract terminated; after all, it’s not appropriate for us to bring up this matter directly. ” After saying those words, I glanced at Wang XX; he sat there calmly, swaying slightly back and forth. To be honest, I had no concerns at all at that moment, because I was well aware that ‘Sea Turtle’ wouldn’t dare to terminate the contract. WL had been cooperating with PC since it entered China, and from Wang XX I learned that ‘Sea Turtle’ had only been the procurement director for less than 2 years. If the contract failed because of him, it would be up to him to take responsibility. Moreover, after hearing what I said, Wang XX did not give any response. Even if Hai Gui decides to terminate the contract, Wang XX still has room to maneuver, as what was expressed earlier was just the opinion of his subordinates and does not represent him. ‘’Turtle’ remained silent for a moment before saying, “Yes, as you said, at WL, PC has relatively high sales figures among similar products. However, the proportion of defective items is also quite high. We can’t possibly give those defective items to customers, right?” This has an impact on both WL and PC. ” Wang XX immediately took over the conversation and proposed the solution he had thought of earlier that morning: “We should continue to cooperate, after all, this is not something that can be decided by just a few of us here.” Here’s what we’ll do: going forward, we will give priority to processing WL’s orders. You are responsible for arranging logistics to have QC personnel go to the warehouse to pick up the goods; after inspection, they will be loaded onto vehicles. Any defective items that arise during transportation are your responsibility. ” This was the first negotiation that I completed in collaboration with Wang XX. In this encounter, we won perfectly. It was this time that I suddenly understood the purpose behind Wang XX writing in the interview record, ‘If this person is hired, please assign them to my department.’ Because this cunning man believed that I and he were complementary to each other. I remember a great brother once saying about me, ‘There are only two kinds of people around you, aside from those you’re destined to meet: those you like and those who are useful to you. Well… thankfully your mother gave birth to you next door to my house.’ ’ Yes, I admit it – that’s just the kind of person I am. Fortunately, there are many people who are useful to me and whom I like… I live my life in pain as well as happiness; most of the time, I don’t have too many expectations and I just go with the flow. For the future, I don’t have many plans. I just hope that in a few years, I can find a simple and kind woman, marry her, live together in a house that we build ourselves, and then buy a car so that we can go shopping together on weekends. At 35, I had the time and money to take her to New Zealand to see the locations from Lord of the Rings. I won’t lie to those beautiful eyes anymore; I just hope to live my days without rushing... There are 10 years left, and I believe I can do it. There are many things that are more important than wandering around here, friends. I’ll stop writing here. I hope that the graduates who are about to start their busy lives, as well as those workers like me who are already busy, can learn something from this. Remember to get rid of the unnecessary things...