The ‘unwritten rules’ one must know in life”

Thread Content

The “unwritten rules” one must know in life: social etiquette are the customary behavioral norms that we develop in our daily lives, and they fall under the category of social knowledge. Most of this knowledge comes from social interactions with different groups of people, as well as from social conflicts and social development. With professional knowledge and skills, social awareness can help us personally reduce tensions with others, and it also makes it easier for them to feel pleasure and comfort in interacting with us. Here are 18 tips on social etiquette from everyday life that might be useful for each of us, yet are often overlooked by many young people. 　　1. Even if they are not important figures, we can often speak to them in a consultative manner, because one should not judge by appearance; many useful mentors and friends often come from unassuming aspects of life and work. 5 p5 {% d% T! ~9 d8 L( | 　　2. When eating out, it is appropriate to take the initiative in ordering food; it is not suitable to ask the host or guests to do the ordering, as that is not something that those of higher status usually do. However, be sure to ask about their preferences, rather than just ordering what you yourself like. But this requires studying the menu regularly to gain experience in placing orders. 　　3. Always look for the positive aspects in friends, partners, colleagues (and even children). Note that even your boss deserves your recognition, but try to do so in private; whereas you should give public praise to ordinary friends and colleagues. 1 I2 j; K' A0 N" }, @, L 　　4. When someone praises you for your appearance, actions, or character, do not act as if it’s something obvious, nor pretend to deny it. The appropriate response is to express gratitude, especially for the affirmation and support from friends. h& p' b$ }0 t7 J 　　5. Learn to use notes, including IOUs, receipt slips, leave requests, and application letters. If you make use of these notes proactively, it will give the impression to others that you are organized; moreover, if you know how to ask others to do the same, it will make it easier for you to deal with them in a structured and documented manner in the future. Being able to write notes will impress others. 　　6. Even if you are not a staff member, offering to pour drinks when your friends or colleagues have guests will make them feel honored, and it will also give the guests the impression that your friends and colleagues are highly respected. This will make your friends and colleagues particularly grateful for your gesture. 　　7. Even if you feel like a beginner or someone of lower status, you should be brave enough to ask questions without feeling ashamed, and take the initiative to understand what others need, rather than waiting for your supervisors or more experienced colleagues to show you kindness, as such behavior often requires special effort on their part. 　　8. Remember to help enthusiastically by answering and taking notes on calls, receiving letters, and passing on messages when others are not at their desks; also remind team members and classmates of any important appointments you are aware of. 9. Enter someone’s room only after seeking their permission, look at their bookshelves or personal items, use their computer only with their consent, and sit in their private seating area; however, one generally does not go through their notebooks. 　　10. To invite others over, an invitation is required; if it’s not possible to do so, one should inform the host in advance. If there’s a delay, the host should be notified at an appropriate time, and an explanation should be given upon arrival. If bringing friends who haven’t been invited, the host must be informed in advance. & _" y" J% r9 R) m# A' R 　　11. It is not appropriate to ask others for gifts. Whether you like a gift received from someone or not, you should express your gratitude, as the giver cares greatly about your reaction. It is also inappropriate to give a gift received from one person to another, especially if the original giver’s markings and signs are still on it; this is considered very impolite. 3 K# d9 X$ M$ K& v( | 　　12. When there are multiple people who can act as intermediaries, take the initiative to introduce your friends to others, or help to connect those you know with one another. 　　13. In gatherings with friends of different statuses, one should always maintain a smile and kindly greet those who are introverted, unnoticed, or may feel inferior; offering help to such vulnerable people in social situations earns special gratitude from others. In other social situations, one should restrain any sense of discomfort or negative expressions toward those of lower social status, especially when they have living conditions and habits that you are not accustomed to. Try to take the initiative to greet those of lower social status. 6 O( X) {6 Q8 l: U* }, x* p* k7 B; Q 　　14. When there’s something good to eat, don’t eat it by yourself; share the good news you know with others, and think of them when something good happens. 6 ?7 h( z) t$ i 　　15. If someone does something wrong or you notice another mistake, do not criticize that person in an emotional manner. Make sure to evaluate the situation itself, and avoid judging that person’s character, personality, or family background. When criticizing, offering solutions makes the criticism more constructive. There should also not be only criticism; when criticizing, one should not forget to acknowledge others’ strengths. If criticism is delivered in a more humorous way, it often has fewer negative effects. Being able to use humor and self-mockery when criticized or faced with embarrassment can also make communication more constructive. 　　16. A true man doesn’t accept losses right in front of him. But in many other cases, if an issue cannot be resolved through argument, it’s better not to exacerbate the situation; instead, stay calm, gather more data and information, and think more carefully before taking action. 3 J5 ^) m; @$ `7 M$ Z: \ 　　17. When you’re not entirely sure, respond to others’ invitations using phrases like “I’ll try” or “I’ll do my best”; once you make a promise, fulfill it to the greatest extent possible. 18. Although business is about making profits, we should try to do something for others without expecting anything in return, thereby gaining a sense of superiority over others in terms of moral standing. A person’s social status is the sum of the sense of social debt that others owe them.