Jokes about going abroad naively as a young person – it’s an old post, but I still find it quite funny

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1. Once, the landlady asked me, “Did you eat anything yet?” I said no. She repeated it, “So you didn’t eat anything.” I said yes... The old landlady hesitated for a moment and then asked again, “Did you eat?” I said no. She then said, “So you didn’t eat.” I said yes…… I guess she was about to collapse at that moment. 2. Not long after starting work, a person from the accounts receivable department of one company called to urge me to send out a check. As usual, I asked which company it was from. The man replied politely, “This is xxx calling from Beach Brother.” I was happy to understand that, but since I wasn’t familiar with the company’s name, I thought it would be better to write it down first so as not to forget it later. In my excitement, I started spelling out the company’s name, saying seriously, “b.i.t.c.h……bitch, correct?” . . . . That man finally couldn’t hold back his anger and shouted at me almost like a roar: “NO!!! B.E.A.C.H.....BEACH!!!!!!” Over the following year, I didn’t have any more business dealings with that company... Ugh. 3. Once, my boyfriend was on the SkyTrain in Vancouver, and a white woman said, “I’m sorry.” He simply replied, “You’re welcome.” She was shocked. 4. It was my first time going to play painball with foreigners; it’s the version where you compete to capture flags. Since it was my first time playing, I followed a teammate who seemed very professional, avoiding obstacles all the way as we made our way to the enemy’s base. We all died, and only one person from the enemy side was left to defend their base. I just heard that foreigner talk to me using a bunch of terms, and I didn’t understand any of them. Seeing that I didn’t understand, he said to me, “It’s easy; just cover me when I go out.” After saying that, he shouted, “Cover me!” and then ran outside. I didn’t know if he meant for me to cover him, and before I could figure it out out, he had already run away. I simply pulled a piece of canvas from one of the boxes, threw it over his head to cover him. As a result, he died a heroic death. At that time, most people had hung up and were watching from the side. Everyone burst into laughter. 5. I don’t remember what caused me to get angry last time; in my frustration, I wanted to say “FUCK YOU!!” but instead I said “FUCK ME!!!” He was stunned for a moment, and then he asked, “Do you mean fuck me?? Or fuck you??” Ugh… I even lost the will to argue. 6. A good friend had just arrived in Canada, and one day he felt thirsty and wanted to drink cola. I went to the convenience store and said loudly, \"EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE COKE?\" But my friend had just gone abroad and still had a strong accent in English; as a result, the simple word \"COKE\" turned into \"EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE COCK?\" for her The shop owner was shocked and kept repeating, “WHAT??? WHAT?” Eventually he understood that she wanted to drink cola. After the transaction was completed, seeing that my friend was new to the place, he kindly advised her that in the future she shouldn’t ask others if they had COCK, as that could lead to misunderstandings! My friend had no idea what had happened at first, but after the shop owner explained it, he wished he could hide in some crack in the ground right away! I didn’t drink Coke for a long time after that! 7. When I first arrived, I went out for dinner with a guy once. After that guy had finished eating, he pointed at the plates left on the table, drew circles with his finger, and asked the waiter, \"How much? For all this, how much?\" The waiter stared at him with a distorted face. . . . . In the end, I really couldn’t hold back any longer, so I told the waiter that he wanted to pay the bill. But after the waiter left, he was still upset, saying that the waiter had almost figured out what my trick was. . . 8. When I first arrived, I saw signs that said “Smoke Free” at many building entrances. I really thought to myself: Canada is great; even smoking is free there! My friend was sweating... 　　 9. Another time, I went to an MC place and asked my friend how to say “sundae” in English. He said it was pronounced as “sundae”. I suddenly understood and said confidently, “So does that milkshake get called ‘Nancy’???” My friend burst out laughing right away... 　　 10. The first time I called someone using the name TA*, the other person asked where I was from. I replied “CHINA”. I was surprised that the name TA* still took into account nationality. The other person probably thought I was joking, and said sadly, “Sorry, we can’t do that...” I got angry upon hearing that – how could there be racial discrimination? I asked, “Why?” The other person was stunned for a while before hanging up... 　　 11. One day I went to KFC and wanted mashed potatoes. Not knowing how to express it, I kept shouting “potato sauce” at the cashier. She thought I was crazy. Then she gave me some ketchup instead... I felt so dismissed~~~~~ 　　 12. In Canada, I helped a foreigner with cupping therapy, but the cups kept falling off. My English wasn’t good, so I explained that he had too much “fur”. He laughed and said, “It’s hair, not fur; fur is for animals.” I laughed too. 13. When my friend first arrived, he didn’t know anyone, so he tried to make friends in class. One day, he thought a white guy seemed like a nice person, so he wanted to get his phone number in order to become friends later on. He asked, \"WHAT’S YOUR PHONE NUMBER?\" The white guy replied, \"TEN.\" (Canadian phone numbers have ten digits.) 14. When he first arrived, he went to BURGER KING to eat. After ordering a hamburger, the staff asked if he wanted ketchup, and he said yes. They then asked which type I forgot how to say ketchup; I thought for a long time and came up with the word JAM, but they still didn’t understand it. In frustration, I said, IT’S UP TO YOU. 15. When I first arrived in Canada, I went to bars to have fun. . And she also took Meimei along; she had stayed abroad for a long time. . . I thought she looked pretty cool, so I tried to act cool as well. I went over with the intention of offering her a drink, and I asked her what kind of drink she would like. She said… . ** On the beach... but it was very noisy at that time, and I had no idea what the names of the drinks in the bar were; I heard it as “son of bitch”... I was surprised for a moment, then the sexy bartender at the bar was waiting for me to order a drink, so I turned around and shouted loudly, “Can I have a son of bitch...” And then... . I don’t want to recall it anymore. 16. Once, when I was buying a train ticket, the staff member asked me, “One way?” I replied, “No, two ways...” He asked me the same question several times, but my answer remained the same. . . As a result, that person looked at me quite frustrated~~~ It was only later that he realized he was still thinking in Chinese~~~ I interpreted what he meant as “One way” = one person? There are two of us, so two way = two people. 17. It was my first time eating congee in Chinatown; the waiters all spoke Cantonese. I ordered some fried dough sticks and a bowl of porridge. Soon the waiter brought a glass of orange juice; I thought it was a free gift, as no one said anything. I had finished drinking the porridge, but the fried dough sticks still hadn’t arrived. When it was time to check out, I complained to the waiter that I hadn’t received any fruit. The waiter said, “Haven’t you drunk your ‘juice’?” 18. One of my friends said that at the time, a friend of his who didn’t know English had just arrived in Toronto. This friend went out by himself, got lost, and then called him. He said it was okay and asked him to spell out the name of the street where he was located. His friend spelled it letter by letter: “S---T--O--P”. My friend was absolutely amused at that moment! 19. When I first arrived, I noticed that foreigners liked to use pencils, so I went to a bookstore and bought pencils and erasers following their example. When I couldn’t find an eraser, I asked if they had one. They laughed and told me to go buy one at a pharmacy. Depressed. . . Why go to a pharmacy to buy erasers? When I asked there, \"Do you have erasers?\", the staff smiled and gave me a box of condoms instead. I really don’t~~! ! It turns out that in Canada, erasers are called “eraser”. When I first arrived there, I often said “you too”... On my birthday, my homestay host mother bought me a birthday cake and wished me happy birthday; yet I quickly replied with “you too”. Also, when I first came to Canada and went to buy fast food, my English was very poor, so I said “I want a combo meal”. The cashier then spoke a lot in English, asking if I wanted onions or cheese or something like that I didn’t understand, so I kept saying “I want combo one.” Later, when I saw that the person looked Chinese, I asked him directly, “Can you spell Chinese?” That person was confused for a long time as to why I was asking him to spell Chinese… It turned out it was “speak” not “spell”…… What an embarrassment. 22. I remember once, a classmate went to McDonald’s for the first time. Out of nervousness, he said loudly, “I want to this han baobao,” pointing at it as he spoke. The staff were at a loss, and my classmate repeated it several times... 23. A friend of mine came to Canada and had steak for the first time. The waiter asked, “How would you like your steak done?” My friend didn’t understand, so he heard someone order it medium and thought, “I can’t follow their example.” 　　He told the waiter, \"Large, please.\" The waiter was surprised and said, \"Sorry, we don’t have that.\" Then he asked for a small one. The waiter was again surprised and said, \"Sorry, we don’t have that either.\" His friend next to him became anxious and told him that the waiter was asking how well done he wanted his steak. He casually said, 80%. The waiter was stunned again and said, \"Sorry, we don’t have that...\" 24. I went car shopping with a friend; we visited many car dealerships that day, and all the phone numbers left were mine. As we all know, car dealerships and restaurants talk to customers at a very fast pace, saying lots of things in quick succession. How could I understand them clearly when I had just arrived in Canada? One day, the phone rang; the number seemed to be from BMW, so I answered it happily. 　　-- Hello ·#￥%……—*#￥%, It’s a great day. @#$%^ 　　--Hello, is it BMW? 　　The other party paused for two seconds, their voice dropping an octave (probably because they were sweating profusely) 　　--No. It’s Toyota and Lexus. . . . . 　　This estimate is about the same as asking at a McDonald’s counter where KFC is located – around 25. Damn it. . . One night, my mom was driving home from the supermarket; it was dark, and while reversing, she suddenly exclaimed something. . . “Oh my god, the car in front isn’t driverless. . ”I was stunned; I took a closer look. . . It’s a little black dog driving. . . 　There was also my dad; when we went to the supermarket with my parents, he saw someone who seemed to be from South America. My dad said, “Look at how that person buys things – they don’t check the price, they take everything and put it in the cart.” . . . ”It was only later that I realized it was a supermarket stocker, who had taken away things that shouldn’t have been there. . . 26. There was an ESL female teacher writing on the whiteboard; I shouted at her back, “Excuse me, sir.” She turned around and said, “I need to decide which restroom I should use.” 27. When I first arrived, I went to McDonald’s to eat. There were no napkins, so I asked for some paper. The person brought me a piece of blank paper and then asked if I needed a pen. I was completely confused for a while before going to the restroom to wash my hands. 28. It happened again at McDonald’s. One of my acquaintances, who had just arrived, went to McDonald’s to buy bread. He had been behaving well up until the waiter asked, “Here or to go?” It was his first time hearing the term “to go”; fortunately, he understood it quickly, but due to nervousness, he blurted out, “Let’s go!” to the waiter... The waiter was stunned for a second before saying, “OK.” 29. A friend of mine went to eat a hamburger at noon. The chef asked him what he wanted added, and he replied, “Tomato, cheese, and washroom (mushroom).” Everyone present was sweating profusely at that moment -_- 30. A friend told me that when he first arrived, he went to M.C. and said, “I want a combo 1.” The cashier responded with “@#￥#@……%……” (because they weren’t used to hearing that phrase). My friend simply said, “Yes,” and then the cashier said, “!” #￥%@#￥%” My friend said “yes”. Then another Chinese person couldn’t hold back any longer and told him, “He asked you whether you wanted to pay by card or in cash – why did you say ‘yes’?” ? ? ” 31. There’s also what I heard from a friend. They took ESL classes together; there was a senior who sat in the front row every day and listened very attentively. One day, the teacher noticed his dedication and decided to speak to him during class. The teacher asked, “How are you?” He replied, “Twenty-two.” The teacher held back and then asked, “What did you do yesterday?” He said, “Yes......” From then on, the teacher never spoke to him again. 32. My friend just arrived; he came by bus. Some kind of missionary-like person greeted him very friendlyly, saying, “How’s it going?” But the person who said “go to school” suddenly stopped talking. . . 33. When I first started junior high, I went to the school restroom for the first time; I usually had to report to the people in the office first, and then I would hurry over there. When I got there, some woman was on duty and asked me what I wanted. . . I thought to myself that saying “washroom” might sound a bit too informal, so I asked her, “Where is the bedroom located? I need to pee.” Then I saw that auntie staring at me and asking, “Excuse me?” I stupidly continued by asking, “Bedroom? Is that where you pee and poop?” The auntie thought for a moment before smiling and saying to me, “I’m sorry, dear; we don’t have a bedroom at school. But if you’re looking for a bathroom, it’s down the hall.” I was sweating profusely at that moment – I had called a bathroom a bedroom!! 34. It was my second year there, and I went to a store to buy shoes. I then took them to the salesperson and asked, “Is this made of beef or pork?” (What I really meant was whether it was made from pigskin or cowhide.) I still remember the expression on that salesperson’s face to this day. 　　 35. Just arrived; went to the SENECA gym to play badminton. I don’t know how to speak about badminton, so I used gestures, but the guard still didn’t understand. I’m in a hurry! ! ! 　I said loudly, “I want a ball that can fly, like a bird. Please!” The doorman girl looked confused and said a bunch of things to me. I still don’t understand. A friend who went with me told me that she wasn’t in charge of catching birds. 36. When I first arrived in the UK, I went to the bank with a girl to open an account. A bank employee approached us kindly, and before he could say anything, the girl said, “May I help you?” The employee was stunned on the spot; I pulled at her clothes from behind, and she turned to me and said, “Don’t interfere, don’t mess around.” Then they said “MAY I HELP YOU” to that person again. 37. When we first arrived, there were three of us – good friends, two girls and one boy. One day, we went to the market together; that guy wanted to buy eggplants and immediately asked, “How much for one kilogram?” The other girl and I found it extremely embarrassing, so we quietly stepped away, pretending not to know him. 38. A certain man’s English was very poor when he first arrived here; while riding in the elevator, he accidentally stepped on a white woman’s foot. When he tried to move away, he accidentally stepped on her other foot as well… The woman glared at him, and he wanted to say “I’m sorry,” but in his haste he said it very loudly: “IT’S OK!” ”Then the woman replied to him in a very loud voice, “IT’S NOT OK!” ! ”Everyone on the bus went crazy… 39. A friend of mine – when he first came to the UK, he had to go to the police station to register himself. My friend’s English was really poor at that time; he didn’t even know how to say \"police station\". But he still had a lot of courage and decided to go to the police station by himself to register. Walking on the road, he randomly grabbed an old man and wanted to ask where the police station was. But his pronunciation wasn’t standard; he said “police” as “please”. The old man struggled for a long time, unable to understand him. So he became anxious and said, “Please, wear a hat, use a gun!” ”She spoke while making gestures. Finally, the old man understood and replied to him, ‘You want to find the police? They are everywhere!’ He became even more anxious and said loudly, ‘No no no, I want a group of them, please – those who stand together...’ This time the old man really got it; he wanted to find a police station! So the old man took him there and told the police that this young man from China didn’t speak English well and needed help. 40. My friend’s boyfriend is really intense; when he first arrived at the supermarket, they asked him if he wanted cash back, and he thought he would get money back for his purchases, so he said yes! When someone asked him how much he wanted, he replied, \"As much as possible!\" 41. Let me tell you about a friend of mine; his name is Li Shuo. On the second day of his arrival in the UK, a foreigner asked him, \"Are you sure?\" Without even thinking, he replied with a smile, \"Yes, I am Shuo Lee!\" 42. When I first arrived, a boy who was staying with a host family insisted on taking me out for food, and we ended up at McDonald’s. He asked me what I wanted and said he would order it for me. 　　I said I just want the first meal, that’s enough. He said okay, I’ll eat the same as you. As a result, the guy went up and said to them, “Number one two.” The white person who was taking orders didn’t understand, so he repeated it loudly three times; he was also quite angry. 43. I have a friend who just moved here; she’s quite attractive. A guy approached her and was very direct, asking her right away, “Are you married?” My friend was surprised for a moment and then replied, “I’m not Mary, I’m Sherry.” She thought he was asking if she was Mary. 44. I remember one of my classmates arriving in the UK for the first time during a time when security checks were particularly strict. Her mother gave her some Jinhua ham to take to a friend there, but the dogs detected it, and they had to go to the office… Then the officer asked her to explain what was inside the package wrapped in newspaper… My classmate said “leg”… The officer looked shocked and asked, “Pardon?” My friend then repeated loudly, “Leg!” 　　She said I thought at the time, how can that officer not even know what ham is? He kept pointing at his leg and saying “leg, leg” – it’s just leg, after all... 45. When I first arrived, I called a friend and went to Pizza Hut. . . On his menu it was listed as “super supreme”, and I got excited and shouted into the phone that I wanted a “super super me”!!!! The other person was confused, so I kept shouting “super super me!” several times more; they remained confused. . . After spelling it out, the other person said, “Oh oh oh, super supreme...” They hadn’t ordered anything from Pizza Hut in a year. 46. Online, I saw someone talking about a joke that had happened to his classmate who had just gone abroad; I asked him what he had been doing lately, and he said he had gone to see a movie. When I asked him what good movies were available, he said there was a movie coming out in a few days titled “COMING SOON”. 47. When I first arrived in the UK, there were always many people distributing flyers on the streets while I was shopping, so I habitually said, “No, thanks.” Once, someone gave me new year’s promotional material and said, “Happy New Year.” I quickly replied, “No, thanks.” 48. I attended English classes and did interviews with my classmates... I asked her what she liked to do, and she said... hanging out in the cafeteria with friends... I was puzzled at the time... why would she like to hang around in the cafeteria? So I went and asked the teaching assistant... I even made the gesture of hanging myself... When she saw that, she laughed wildly... While I was just feeling helpless... hanging out... 49. The first time I went to a supermarket to buy film, I held up a Durex fruit-flavored condom and shouted at my friend across the supermarket: “I found it here!” 50. At that time, I didn’t know how to say “microwave,” so I used gestures to explain it, and then added the sound of “beep” at the end. . . The guy was surprised at first, but then he realized we were talking about a microwave oven. 51. Let me tell you a story: in 2003, I was studying ELI at SENECA in Toronto. There was a guy in my class whose English wasn’t very good. One day he arrived late and stood at the door, saying, “Sorry, I’m late for class.” Our teacher was a very strict old lady who asked him, “Why?” The guy thought for a few seconds before answering seriously and sincerely, “By bus.” The whole class burst into laughter, while the old lady looked extremely annoyed~~~ After saying that, the guy tried to enter the classroom. The old lady managed to hold back her anger and said, “Hey, you can’t go into the classroom like this. You should ask me, ‘Excuse me, Miss, may I sit down?’” The guy looked at her in confusion, not saying anything, probably because he didn’t understand right away. The old lady patiently repeated, “Follow me and say, ‘May I sit down?’” This time he seemed to understand and said “Yes” firmly, then continued walking away confidently~~~ Finally, the old lady gave up and sat down in her chair, and the whole class laughed even more~~~ 52. Getting angry with someone and accidentally saying, “Shut up!” ” 　　The opponent was very confused and said, “What pee?” I thought to myself, ‘Damn, you’re still pretending,’ and shouted, ‘It’s not urine, it’s farts!’ ! ” 53. One example: When I went to rent a house before, I asked if there might be cockroaches in the place, but by mistake I said \"crocodiles\" instead. The real estate agent replied in confusion that there were no crocodiles. . . 54. Here’s another story about my dad… During the holidays, a teacher from the school office contacted me by phone; they called to my family’s home in China. My dad was the one who answered the phone alone. Amidst all that English spoken on the other end, he only heard my name, so he firmly replied, “XXX (my name), yes! English, no! Tomorrow, please!” and then hung up. It was really impressive how well my dad used his basic English skills! 55. When I first arrived, I went to a house rented by someone else to buy second-hand items. I found myself in a residential area, and I wondered why there were so many public toilets in that area—it seemed strange. In front of each row of houses, there were big signs that said “toilet”. Several times I thought about asking the guy next to me, but after walking a little further, I realized that what was actually written there was “to let”… I mistook it for “toilet”. Thankfully I didn’t ask, otherwise I would have been embarrassed.. = = 56. I suddenly remembered a joke about a guy from the Northeast who studied at the language school; though he meant well. . 　　　　That day, the guy was on his way home after class when he saw two cars collide; out of kindness, he called the police. “Hi, My name is XXX. A car crashed into another car; I saw red liquid – please call an ambulance.” In other words, “a car fucked a car” refers to a car crash, “red water” means blood, and “Wuliwuli” refers to an ambulance, as that’s the sound associated with ambulances. . . 　　　　What he actually wanted to say was: “There’s been a car accident here; someone is injured. Please call an ambulance and have them come over.” The funny thing is that the police understood him, and an ambulance as well as a police car arrived right away. . . Cows! ! ! Here you can find the freshest and most comprehensive news of the day, along with many beautiful pictures! Check it out now!