Smile, and you’ll stay young for ten years

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Super funny 1: At a portrait painting class, the female model assumes a pose. 　　A boy raised his hand and said, “Sir, it wasn’t in this position yesterday.” ” 　　The teacher said, “So how should it be adjusted?” ” 　　The boy swallowed hard and said loudly, “The left leg should go further to the left, and the right leg should go further to the right!” ” 2. The young lady saw the ultrasound examination order prescribed by the doctor but didn’t know where to have it done. 　　Miss: Doctor, where is this 13 hyper? 　　Doctor: It’s not a 13D ultrasound, it’s a B-ultrasound! 　　Miss: Your B grade is way too lenient! (loudly) 3. Xiaoming: “What is the happiest thing?” 　　Idiot: “Have sex”! 　　Xiaoming: “What’s happier than this?” 　　Idiot: “Do it again”! 4. The young teacher stutters. 　 One day, in class, I asked the students to read the text aloud. 　 Teacher: “Japan… Japan… The Japanese invaders have entered the village.” Students repeat: “Japan… Japan… The Japanese invaders have entered the village.” 　 The teacher sitting next, listening to the class, laughed. 　 The teacher became very anxious and said to the students, “No matter how many times I do it, you are only allowed to do it once.” 　　 5. Ah Dai: “Why isn’t my ramen ready yet?” I’ve been waiting for ages! ” 　　Guy: “Don’t worry, don’t worry; the master is pulling it right now!” ” 　　As he spoke, the master chef brought over the hot noodles, saying enthusiastically, “These are the ones I just made!” It’s still steaming! Please, have some! ” 　　 6. The salesman is busy with work and is away from home five days a week, so he naturally feels guilty toward his wife and wants to use the entire weekend to make up for it! 　 One Saturday, as they were making love on that creaky bed... suddenly! ! 　 The old woman next door was knocking hard on the wall and shouting, \"Will you ever stop!\" ! ! There are seven days in a week! Can’t you take a day off? 7. The president, along with his wife, visited a pig farm. 　　President: \"May I ask how many times does that strong boar mate with the sows in a day?\" ” 　　Host: “About a dozen times a day on average!” ” 　　First Lady: “Look at them!” Look at you again! ” 　　President: \"Does that kind of pig mate with the same sow every day?\" ” 　　Host: “No, it mated with different sows.” ” 　　The president said to his wife, “Look at that person!” Look at you again! ” 　　 8. It was Mr. Lin’s wife’s birthday, and she asked him to take her to a strip club to see what it was like. Mr. Lin had no choice but to agree to her request. When they arrived at the entrance of the strip club, the waiter greeted them politely, saying, “Welcome, Mr. Lin.” Mr. Lin tried to stop him nervously, while his wife glared at him angrily. 　　Entering the strip club, the manager says, “Welcome, Mr. Lin. Would you like to sit in your usual seat?” ”Mrs. Lin’s face had begun to turn blue with anger. 　　The performance began, and the stripper moved her waist to the rhythm of the music, taking off her clothes one by one. 　　She cried in a soft voice, “Whose is this one?” ” 　　“Of course it’s Mr. Lin! ”All the guests said in unison. 　　By this time, Mrs. Lin had fainted from anger. 　　Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and got into the taxi. 　　Mrs. Lin suddenly came to her senses and cursed angrily, \"You deceitful bastard, you monster!\" ” 　　The taxi driver replied, “Mr. Lin, the girl you found tonight is quite bold!” ” 9. A couple is deeply in love and affectionate with each other. 　　Woman: What are you thinking right now? 　　Man: Just as you thought. 　　The woman immediately slapped the man and shouted, \"You scoundrel!\" 　　 10. The invigilator, who was eating at the time, noticed a student cheating and angrily pointed at him, shouting, \"You... you... you... you dare to cheat! Stand up!\" 　　As soon as he finished speaking, 5 students stood up! 11. A mentally ill person shouted: I am the president; you all have to listen to me! 　　 The attending doctor asked him: Who said that? 　　 Patient: God said so. 　　 Hearing this, a patient sitting next to him suddenly jumped up: I never said that! 12. Mom and Dad took A Dai on a vacation to the beaches in California. 　　The foreigners on the beach were all swimming naked. 　　Idiot: Dad, why isn’t your penis as big as those uncles’? 　　Dad: ......Because......those uncles are richer than Dad. 　　After a while. Aidai wanted to drink cola, so Dad went to the store by himself to buy it. 　　 Aidai and his mother stayed on the beach, but when his father returned, he found his mother missing. 　　 Dad: Where’s your mom? 　　Aidai: Dad, right after you left, a very rich uncle came. He looked at my mom, and more and more money appeared; eventually, my mom left with him. 　　 　　 14. **A car driven by a person collided with a car driven by someone from Henan.** **Someone came down to take a look and thought there wasn’t much wrong with the car, so they said it was okay. 　　The man from Henan also said with a smile that there was no problem, and casually took out a bottle of liquor from the car. 　　Henan man: Brother, there’s nothing serious wrong with the car; have some alcohol to calm down! 　　**The person took a big sip of the wine and handed it to the man from Henan. 　　**Person: Big bro, have some too. 　　Henan native: I’m not in a hurry. I’ll drink it after the police arrive and take a look. 　　 15. A woman got lost in the forest, was captured by a group of monkeys, and then raped by the monkey king. 　　She gave birth a few months after returning home. The husband waited anxiously outside the delivery room. 　　 Finally, the doctor came out. 　　Husband: Are mother and child safe? 　　Doctor: Everyone is safe. 　　Husband: Boy or girl? 　　Doctor: I don’t know; it ran away before we could see it clearly after it was born. It’s still hanging on the chandelier and refuses to come down. 　　 16. Indian police officers all have big beards. 　　 One day, a restaurant held an event to bring police and citizens together, offering free meals to the police officers. 　　　After finishing her meal, the female police officer headed straight for the door, and the restaurant waiter hurried over to stop her. 　　　Waiter: Police get it for free; you obviously aren’t a police officer, so you have to pay! 　　　Female police officer: I’m a secret agent; the beard is down there! 　　 17. The husband drove out. 　　 The wife was at home listening to the radio when she heard a report; she quickly picked up the phone. 　　Wife: Honey, I just heard on the radio that there’s a car driving in the opposite direction on the highway; you must be very careful. 　　Husband: It’s not just one car; I see hundreds of cars driving in the opposite direction. 　　 18. After the village head returned from his trip abroad. 　　The village chief said to his wife that foreign women make noises in bed; it’s very tempting. 　　I went to bed with my wife at night; she kept her eyes closed and said nothing. The village chief asked, “Why didn’t you make a sound?” ” 　　The wife shouted, “The village chief is a Japanese!” ! ” 　　 19. Xiaoxin: Dad, why are there three characters for ‘gold’ in my name? 　　Dad: Your fate lacks gold, that’s why you were named Xin; just as some people lack water in their fate and are thus named Miao, while others lack wood and are called Sen. 　　Xiaoxin: Dad, what do you think is missing in Sister Guo Jingjing’s fate? 20. Xiaoming is a big fan of detective dramas; from the very first minute, he starts looking for the murderer, not missing a single suspicious word or clue. 　　 That day, I went to watch another play titled \"The Murder on Park Street.\" 　　 Just as the curtain rose, the waiter led him to his seat. 　　Server: “Are you satisfied with your seat?” Sir. ” 　　Xiaoming: “Of course, thank you.” ” 　　Waiter: “Shall I take your hat to the cloakroom?” ” 　　Xiao Ming: “No, thank you.” ”Xiao Ming thought it was time for him to leave, but the waiter didn’t. 　　Server: “Would you like a program?” ” 　　Xiao Ming: “No, thank you.” ” 　　Server: “It has still photos on it.” ” 　　Xiaoming: “Thank you.” ” 　　Server: “Or a telescope?” ”Xiaoming refused angrily. 　　The waiter asked again if they wanted chocolate cakes and a bottle of champagne; the tension began to rise. 　　Xiao Ming was angry and anxious: “No, I don’t want anything. Go to hell.” ” 　　The waiter finally realized that he couldn’t earn any tips here, so he took terrible revenge on Xiao Ming. He pointed at the stage and said in a hateful tone right in Xiao Ming’s ear, “The murderer is the gardener.” ”