Turn – Unwritten rules of the workplace summarized by those born in the 1980s (seem quite applicable to us)

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1. Assess yourself correctly; stop daydreaming.
2. Don’t only focus on what’s good about others, because they’re also watching you.
3. Interest doesn’t equal a career; don’t easily cross circles or change jobs.
4. Talk more about others rather than yourself, and keep such conversations brief.
5. You can only rely on yourself—work isn’t playtime, and there are no family members there for you.
6. Be low-key when you first join a company; don’t become the focus of everyone’s attention.
7. Don’t complain easily; if you speak, aim to achieve a goal, as your complaints can become someone else’s weapon against you.
8. Don’t envy those with strong connections; still maintain good relationships with them, even if you disapprove of them in your heart.
9. A leader is still a leader; no matter how close you are, it doesn’t mean you can treat each other as brothers.
10. By age 30, you should know what you want to do in the future and work hard to earn enough money after that age.
11. Spend the money you need to before turning 30; otherwise, you won’t be able to save anything.
12. In a hierarchical system, gifts help in getting things done.
13. Don’t try to rely on multiple powerful people—it’s the same as not relying on anyone at all.
14. Find one powerful person who can help you get what you need.
15. No leader stays in power forever, so don’t ignore other leaders; this way, you’ll have options.
16. No one is stupid; don’t think you can outsmart others. Most of the time, it’s just that others are too lazy to pay attention to you.
17. Only say nice things about your leaders. If they ask for your opinions, give 80% positive feedback and 20% cautious comments. Don’t miss the chance to offer suggestions, or you might not get another opportunity.
18. It’s better to be seen as stupid than as cunning.
19. Do what’s expected of you in your position; don’t assume you can make decisions on your own.
20. Always consult your leaders, even if they get annoyed or scold you for being slow. Your slowness shows their efficiency.
21. Invite your leaders to eat from time to time, even if they decline—it shows you care.
22. Give gifts privately, by phone. If they refuse, it means you’re not valuable enough yet, but at least it shows you care about them. It’s better than not having them know you exist at all.
23. Believe that people can’t do the same job their whole life, so they don’t have to always cater to others’ moods.
24. If you’re capable, be a leader; if not, be a competent subordinate.
25. Truly master a skill, so that no one can take your abilities away from you.
26. To get close to one person, you’ll inevitably offend another. There’s nothing you can do about it, but at least it’s due to circumstances, not malice.
27. Leaders are never wrong; it’s always my fault for not understanding their intentions.
28. They’re competitors at the same time, even if they keep saying how much they admire you.
29. Take time to improve yourself; don’t spend your free time chatting online or playing games. Don’t act like a housewife. If you can’t take classes, read more books to have more topics to talk about at the dinner table.
30. It’s necessary to toast, but there are rules regarding drinking. Don’t start toasting right away; wait until the leaders have finished talking before it’s your turn. 　31. By no means assume that just because a leader praises you, it means they are giving you important responsibilities; when a leader praises you, it also means they have overlooked others, which shows that they are indeed capable leaders. 32. Circumstances change over time – it’s impossible to always be favored or unfavored, so don’t go too far in your actions. My advice is only suitable for those from ordinary families; as someone who was born with advantages, I have an edge here, but please treat this just as a joke. 　　 Actually, I started working outside while in my third year of university; I gradually accumulated experience over time. At first, I was quite stubborn, which got me into many troubles. But I told myself that I shouldn’t make the same mistakes twice, so things went a bit smoother for me in my subsequent work. I truly hope that everyone will first put it into practice before starting to work; after all, people need to go through certain experiences in order to truly learn from them. Just by reading other people’s articles, one won’t feel the real pain, and thus won’t be able to understand things deeply. For those in the workplace, my first advice is to have some understanding of the concept of \"cunning and ruthlessness.\" In simple terms, this concept can be summarized in four words: \"thick-skinned and heartless.\" It’s not that I have a dark mindset; really, over time everyone comes to realize what is known as the \"ugliness of human nature.\" You can imagine for yourself: if you see others doing well, wouldn’t you feel jealous? Can you remain so calm just by watching others being favored? If one can’t even control themselves, how can they expect others to act as selfless heroes? 　　 So, when we first enter the workplace, we need to establish this first mindset: \"No one is a friend; everything people say has an intention behind it.\" With such a way of thinking, we can gradually come to accept others’ sarcasm and scheming as something normal. If it were me, I would act the same way; this way, I wouldn’t get upset over what others say, and as a result, not only would the problems not be solved, but I might also end up being labeled as \"childish.\" 　 　　Secondly, when we enter the workplace, another mental attitude we need to develop is this: \"If you’re going to do something, do it thoroughly; if not, then don’t do it at all. Don’t act unhappy while doing it.\" I also made this mistake at first. As a newcomer, senior employees tend to give orders constantly, which makes one feel dissatisfied. One ends up working while complaining, and by the time the task is completed, one doesn’t leave a good impression and becomes known as someone who talks too much. So, if I encounter such a situation again in the future, I’ll either do it right away while saying, “It’s my duty; please don’t move, I’ll take care of it,” or I’ll avoid doing it from the start by finding an excuse to busy myself with something else. To avoid ending up with nothing on either end. 　　Once again, the third mental preparation we need to make when entering the workplace is, \"How long am I going to be here, and what can this place offer me?\" ”This is the most important thing – it’s necessary to keep working on it while also taking breaks; sometimes, it’s not impossible to take such breaks for 2 or 3 years. 　　 In my current workplace, at first, since it is a legitimate enterprise with the “Zhong” prefix, I intended to stay there for the rest of my life. But due to the characteristics of such organizations, where experience is highly valued and progress can be extremely slow – in other words, it takes at least 10 years to make any headway – and considering the limited opportunities available, I considered looking for another job. It wasn’t until this year that I was able to view my job more rationally. Working for an enterprise with the “Zhong” prefix can at least bring me prestige; in other words, I might not gain financial benefits, but I can gain recognition. Using this platform, I can pursue my own career goals (though it’s not really a full-fledged career). So first and foremost, I need to decide how long I plan to stay here – whether it will be for the rest of my life. There’s no choice: during the first ten years, one has to be cautious. If one merely wants to use this place to build skills for future entrepreneurship, then mastering technical knowledge as well as management skills becomes absolutely crucial. Of course, I still recommend it – after all, one has to work for several years, and during those years one can’t just forget everything and start from scratch. So it’s better to keep working while learning; only in that way does one feel like they’re working for themselves rather than for others, and only then can one have the motivation to keep going. “Out of 1,000 people, there’s at most 1 boss and 1 idiot. Unfortunately, most people are among those 998 ordinary folks.” Don’t think you’re mature or more mature than your peers; having such an idea is usually a sign of immaturity. Really, no one is an idiot, someone who doesn’t realize they’re being manipulated. There aren’t many “elites,” and similarly, there aren’t many truly stupid people either. Many of us, while striving to be elites, overlook the fact that we’re all ordinary people. I’m very willing to read books written by \"successful people,\" but as soon as I see phrases like \"Hard work and effort will lead you to success,\" I definitely won’t buy such books. I know that they are only suitable for those \"ambitious\" and \"high-aspiring\" \"youths,\" giving them a boost of confidence that they can do it within 10 minutes after reading them. The downside is that when harsh reality repeatedly shatters their belief that \"hard work and effort will lead to success,\" they end up feeling lost and helpless, falling to rock bottom. I totally agree with the view that \"success can be learned from, but not replicated.\" There are indeed people who believe that by following the career path of some \"elites,\" they too will achieve success… Some even think that dropping out of school is a \"necessary condition for success\"~~~~ All of this is said to encourage everyone to embrace the role of an \"ordinary person\" – that’s the role you should play. You’re not naturally better than anyone else, so it’s unlikely that you’ll become a \"high-earning elite.\" Likewise, there’s no need to act stupid; don’t use excuses like \"someone else has a better background\" or \"they were born into wealth\" to justify your own failures. You are just like 998/1000 people – you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, nor did you arrive in the world already blessed with advantages. Even if there are slight differences, they certainly won’t mean that you’ll be inferior to others your whole life or that you’ll be superior to them the entire time. In other words, generally speaking, we’re all on the same starting line; it is \"effort + luck\" that enables one to stand out among these people. Since I work in a state-owned enterprise, the \"background and connections\" here are quite strong, with many newcomers arriving one after another. All the good opportunities go to them, and they get all the best benefits first. At first I felt desperate, but after thinking it over, I wondered just how great someone really can be What’s so amazing about that? Those elite individuals among those 1,000 people – people I’ll never be able to match in my lifetime – certainly won’t come to work at the company. They certainly won’t smile to themselves at the thought of earning 500 more dollars than us. Nor will they sit in the same office as us ordinary people. To put it simply, you might be better than me, but not good enough to really scare me; I can still beat you with my own efforts. While you’re surfing the Internet, I’ll read more books; while you’re on vacation, I’ll use that time to improve myself. While you try to get an extra 1,000 dollars in bonuses by flattering your bosses, I’ll go out to explore the market and consider renting a small shop. So, do you think I’ve lost? Next, those who are entering or leaving the workplace: remember, we are at the same starting point as 998% of other people. There’s no need to compare ourselves with the elite; as for those who are less capable, we can simply ignore them. I can surpass all of those 998 people through my own efforts. If I end up in second place out of 1,000 people, what more could I possibly ask for? 　　5. “Always remember that contentment brings happiness; what you are given is something you’ve gotten lucky enough to receive, not something that rightfully belongs to you.” Perhaps many of you don’t quite understand what I mean by this, so let me explain it in detail – then you will understand. And it’s really very important to grasp this point. To give a concrete example: you have been working hard and striving to succeed. One day, your manager talks to you and asks if you would like to participate in a very important company project. Of course, as a newcomer, you won’t be in a leadership position, but just being able to take part is already an honor. You feel that you have finally been recognized, so you do your best to carry out every task carefully and thoroughly. Before you know it, a year has passed, and everyone is working together very well. But then, your manager assigns another newcomer to this project, someone who is roughly at your level and can serve as an assistant. What are your thoughts on this? I guess most people, if they really went through such a thing, would be extremely unhappy; they’d think they had lost favor, that their \"crisis\" had arrived. Those who usually disliked you and were jealous of your good opportunities would now be able to \"secretly rejoice\"... and all sorts of negative emotions like that would arise, right? Why is this the case? Let me analyze this for you. First of all, you’re also a selfish person who wants to stand out alone, to be the best, to outshine everyone else; then promotion will be just around the corner ； Secondly, you think it’s possible that the leader no longer values you and is looking for a replacement; your future looks bleak ； Once again, you feel that you’ve lost face; those who used to \"envy\" you can now feel satisfied, as you find yourself in a situation where no one is supporting you above, while everyone below is laughing at you. Can you see the problem? Why is that? In one sentence: “You think too highly of yourself.” You were given that task indeed as an opportunity, but the leader simply believed you would be serious and hardworking; he never said that you would become prominent once you finished it. The reason you were given that task was to help you develop, so it’s all your own assumptions. Moreover, you think you can no longer stand out on your own, haha. Let me tell you what it means to \"stand out on your own\" – it means that this project \"can’t proceed without you\"; what can this project do without you? I guess those who are watching should reflect on the fact that 98% of people can do the job without you; so even if you continue to do it, you’re not necessarily the best. You were assigned that task perhaps because you worked hard, but it wasn’t said that only you could do it, right? After all, others can also do what you can do, right? Then what do you not like? If you’re capable, then you can achieve being the \"only one who will do it\"; otherwise, who can you blame? You’re not convinced; you think you’re being excluded? You really think too highly of yourself. You treat every small task as if it were a crucial order, believing that when a leader asks you to do something it’s to \"develop\" you – how ridiculous. You’re being overly presumptuous. Remember, if a leader wants to develop you, they can just as easily develop someone else. You’re already much luckier than those who haven’t been given such opportunities. Be satisfied with that, because you’re not actually any better than others; you were just lucky once. Can you stay lucky all the time? However, I’m saying that at this point you might face sarcasm and mockery from those who are jealous of you. All I can say is that you’re overestimating your own value; you don’t know your true worth. The higher you stand, the more likely you are to fall hard if that height is merely an illusion. I can give my own example: At first, I was lucky enough to be assigned as an assistant in a \"key project team.\" At that time, some of the \"senior employees\" started to feel dissatisfied; they didn’t say anything outright, but they were definitely unhappy. I quickly realized that my role was merely to assist, not to act as a manager – it wasn’t anything special, so I shouldn’t consider myself superior. Moreover, it’s especially important at such times not to act arrogantly. Not only did I need to carry out the tasks assigned by my supervisors, but I also did the tasks given to me by those dissatisfied senior employees, and I did them carefully. At first, they had an attitude of thinking I was just pretending, but later, when I completed each task diligently, they had to admit that I was able to keep up with the team not because of connections, but because I really worked hard. This made the atmosphere much more harmonious. At this point, you must not keep saying things like, “I’m about to make a breakthrough,” or “Just by being part of this team, I have a better chance than others.” Because even if that’s true, it’s hard to guarantee that you won’t be replaced, as there’s still a long way to go. As expected, recently, due to connections with the company’s top management, another newcomer was assigned to the team. Just out of college, they started working right away, doing the same tasks as me, and in some cases even taking on more important responsibilities than I do. What was my mindset at that time? It’s impossible to say that I’m not annoyed or jealous, but I was able to adjust my mindset quite quickly. Those senior employees weren’t the type to \"watch and enjoy the show\"; some of them even offered me encouragement. In front of the newcomers, they introduced me (of course, it didn’t help much, but it was better than being mocked). At first, my manager thought I might resist, but to his surprise, I continued to work happily every day, even taking the initiative to do more work. He must have been quite surprised; perhaps he can’t do anything at this stage, but I believe a competent manager will remember you as an \"employee who knows how to be content.\" As for me, I’m currently preparing to further my education, and I have more and more personal matters to deal with outside, so I simply don’t have time to worry about workplace relationships every day. Therefore, my mood doesn’t change at all. I believe this is already the best state one can be in after losing favor. Remember, no one can remain in favor forever; moreover, showing you favor isn’t even considered to be being in favor. Do you agree with me? In short, it means \"Don’t take yourself too seriously; just because you were rewarded this time doesn’t mean you’ll be rewarded every time. What you really need to strive for is to become truly irreplaceable – things that are superficial won’t last a lifetime.\" Don’t rush to bring discomfort to yourself. For example, I wonder if everyone knows what it means to spread gossip – talking bad about others, like saying \"So-and-so has strong connections\" or \"So-and-so is close to the boss\" or \"So-and-so looks down on someone else.\" Honestly, every office has such \"gossipspreaders.\" Perhaps you’re curious, perhaps you really want to know what reality looks like, but usually knowing it doesn’t solve anything; instead, it only adds to the troubles. Generally, when others talk about something, unless it directly affects me, I try to avoid it deliberately. Why? It’s because I’m afraid of feeling jealous; if I know about someone else’s strong background, does that mean their background becomes less significant? If someone is highly valued by their supervisor, and you still have the audacity to try to cause them trouble, I guess all you can do is lament the unfairness of the world. The more you do this, the less motivated you’ll feel about your work, the more negative you’ll become, the less respected you’ll be by your supervisor, and that’s how you’ll end up in trouble. So, it’s one’s own fault if they end up in awkward situations. Usually, when I hear such rumors, my first reaction is: “I shouldn’t become friends with these ‘experts’; I can’t be their friend nor their enemy.” The only value in such words lies in that point, and then one needs to focus their energy on things they can control, to work hard and to improve themselves privately. Those who like to spread gossip are truly worthless – they just want to share their jealousy with you, so that you too will feel jealous, and then the two of them can gossip together. That’s all there is to it. And once it’s discovered, you’ll also be implicated… “Hurry up and count: how many close friends do you have in the office with whom you can talk about anything? Have you figured it out?” How many? 10? 5? 3? Tch, I’m not that stupid I only have one! Hehe, the correct answer should be none! Some people will definitely not believe what I say, and they’ll ask me, \"Who are you, the original poster?\" It is your personality that determines why you have no friends; my selflessness and dedication are what ensure that I have \"true friends\"! It seems I’m the one who’s trying to judge others with a petty mindset~~~~ I don’t deny the existence of \"true friends,\" but it’s difficult to find such friends in the workplace. There are only two reasons for this: either you assume too much, or you possess a strong personality charm akin to that of a great leader~~~~ Which category do you fall into? You’ll understand it if you use an analogy: imagine you and your closest \"sister\" or \"brother\" both get paid, with each of you receiving 3,000 yuan. Of course, you’ll go out together to eat, have fun, and complain about the boss together. But what if you find that they earn 500 yuan more than you this month, and moreover, they’ve been given an extra task as well? Can you still stay cheerful in such a situation? For another example, during a meeting with leaders, if one of them praises your friend and pats him on the shoulder, how do you feel? At this point, there are only two possibilities. One is to continue to act as if you’re friends with him, despite feeling jealous, while secretly wanting to seize new opportunities to surpass him. The other option is to gradually distance yourself from him – and this is the most dangerous approach. No one is stupid; if you’re no longer his friend, then you become his enemy, because you know too many of his secrets. By the same logic, it can be shown that when you are “spoiled,” others feel the same way. In plain terms, it’s just \"able to share hardships but not joys\"; \"we can be dung together, but only if we do so together\" – that’s all there is to it. To put it more clearly, we go to work in order to earn a profit – that’s the fundamental reason. If you’re young and don’t care about small amounts of money, it’s because you’re aiming for long-term benefits; we’re not there to make friends. Some people will surely exclaim, \"Damn, that’s what I’m talking about – as soon as you enter the office, you have to be fully prepared to deal with all those ‘fake faces’.\" Exactly! You’re right; those who don’t think ahead will surely face troubles in the near future. Spending all day laughing and joking with these so-called \"good friends\" now will later turn into weapons that you won’t dare to use against them. For example, it’s actually a trivial matter. One of my high school classmates messaged me on QQ not long ago and said that he had been ‘cursed.’ I found that strange at first, and after asking more details, I was shocked. I really wanted to tell him that he deserved it, but out of courtesy, I could only try to reassure him. Here’s what happened: their former leader was about to retire, but he had a very poor reputation and caused them a lot of trouble. So, during the farewell party, my friend complained about him as well. Unbeknownst to him, those words reached the former leader’s ears. As a result, he, who otherwise had a good chance of being appointed due to his party membership, was denied that opportunity under some made-up excuse. At the time he said those words, there were only two colleagues around him – people he had described to me as his “best friends,” those with whom he sang karaoke together without any ulterior motives. I had told him before not to treat colleagues too much like brothers; otherwise, it would be awkward to carry out work tasks, and after all, one can never be sure of others’ intentions. He told me, “It’s different in our workplace; we’re all young people, and we’re all tired of that old leader. I’m the leader among us.” Hearing that, I was covered in sweat and didn’t know what else to say. I also didn’t feel like wasting more time arguing with him. Now, other than this situation, he keeps asking me for advice on how to survive in the workplace. All I can do is tell him the truth: “I understand more than you do only because I’ve suffered more than you have, that’s all.” Really, you won’t understand what I’m saying until you’ve experienced it yourself; only after experiencing it and reading what I’ve written will you nod in agreement. 　　 Well, then I’ll talk about what kind of **homes require caution. First, there are those who always listen to you alone and never express their own opinions – people like me, for example. Such people actually don’t have any bad intentions; they just know how to protect themselves. They don’t want to get involved in complicated interpersonal disputes. With such people, if you notice that they keep expressing their opinions, it’s best to change the subject quickly and talk about things like eating, drinking, and fun. No matter how much you talk, they won’t interact with you at all, nor will they show any interest. What they really think is, “If you’re capable, then change jobs; otherwise, what’s the point of all that nonsense?” ” 2. Those who deliberately provoke you to complain – they start the conversation first and then let you talk at length. Such people are quite dangerous; they begin by initiating the discussion in order to make you feel as though you’re on the same side, encouraging you to express your opinions, while they simply listen to what you say, occasionally uttering neutral expressions like “Hmm,” “Yes,” “Right,” or “I understand.” Such individuals act as messengers in the office; they usually aren’t very successful themselves and want to pull others down with them – they are dangerous elements. Such people are usually very good at reading others’ expressions. For example, if a troublesome task is assigned to you, you’ll surely feel upset toward the person who gave it to you. Well, then this person will take the opportunity to say things like, “See? I told you this person is troublesome; eventually you’ll get used to it.” After that, they start to listen to what’s on your mind… When dealing with such people, you must not be too lenient and simply say “Whatever” to end the matter; otherwise... There are also those who come from powerful backgrounds – for dealing with them, the only principle to follow is “don’t offend them.” Seriously, don’t even think about becoming friends or brothers with them. Smart people from powerful families already know your tactics, and they certainly won’t take you seriously. With someone in high positions backing them, would they even bother to pay attention to you? However, such guys are easy to deal with. What’s really troublesome are those who lack experience in the world; those are the real headache. Your attempts at flattery go unnoticed by them, as they don’t even recognize it as flattery – it’s completely pointless. Moreover, such guys usually speak very directly; they don’t give any respect to their “superiors” and just say what’s on their mind. It might be true that the superior can’t do anything about them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t either. For example, one such guy and my friend were assigned to move some stuff. They talked non-stop for a while, and when they finally brought the items to the office, the guy simply said, “We’re not here to move stuff; we’re here to create something.” And from then on, he really started creating things. But my friend has been complaining a lot lately; everyone can guess the reason… 4. The leader’s confidant: If you manage to get someone who is close to the leader, acting almost like a sister to you, you must remain vigilant at all times. Because no matter how close you are to that person, the leader will still be closer to him. Surely he understands what you understand, right? Look, I’ve analyzed all kinds of office colleagues for you – take a look and see which type of person could become your “friend” The hallmark of the workplace is always “competition”; “cooperation” is just something said to impress the managers. Keep your mouth shut and focus on doing your job.