Standing at the door of the empty room

Thread Content

Standing at the door of the empty net, if he calmly shoots it in, then he is a Bundesliga player； 　　 　　If he shoots with force, then he’s a Premier League player ； If he manages to shoot from above the defense while being disturbed by their defenders and score a goal, then he is an Serie A player ； 　　 　　If he chooses to shoot into the goal from a difficult angle, then he is a La Liga player ； 　　 　　If a black player continues to perform his dribbling moves and then shoots wide, he is a Ligue 1 player ； 　　 　　If he turns and lifts the ball before delivering a backheel, then he’s Rivaldo ； 　　 　　If they keep exerting effort yet still can’t score, then it’s the Chelsea players playing at home against Monaco ； 　　 　　If he fails to score, falls down by himself, and the opposing defender is penalized for a foul resulting in a penalty kick, then he is the South Korean player at the World Cup ； 　　 　　If the striker is in a disadvantageous position, with no shooting angle, and gets tripped by the opponent’s defender, then that defender must be Greisco ； 　　 　　If you still don’t want to shoot and instead want to get past the opponent’s defender, then the opponent is the Chinese team ； 　　 　　If the opponent’s defender comes and steals the ball before scoring it into their own goal, then it’s a Tiger Cup match ； 　　 　　If he kicks someone straight onto the stands, it’s Li Tie ； 　　 　　If it’s higher than what Li Tie kicks, then it’s Zhou Ning ； 　　 　　If it’s higher than what Bi Zhouning kicked, then it’s Li Dongbo ； 　　 　　If it’s even higher than what Li Dongbo kicks, then it’s launching Patriots. 　　 　　After scoring a goal, he ran to the sidelines to celebrate, only to be injured by a wall that collapsed on him; this person was from Palermo. If someone celebrates by raising their right hand in a manner typical of farmers after scoring a goal, it must be Schiller. 　　 　　If, after scoring a goal, he takes out a mask from his underwear to pretend to be Spider-Man, it’s Max. If he suddenly stops kicking, takes off his clothes all of a sudden, runs up to the referee and shows him a red card, then he’s the king of naked running. 　　　If the ball flies towards the corner flag and then returns to the goal on its own after a short distance, that’s a ‘screwdriver’ move… 　　　If someone with a shoulder higher than their head shoots the ball at an angle, causing it to roll along the ground towards the corner flag. The player shrugged and muttered something like “Shit”, and that was Fan Zhiyi. If he doesn’t shoot, keeps carrying the ball, takes it beyond the sideline, and then falls down himself, then he’s Li Yi! 　　 　　If he’s knocked down by the opponent’s defender and a penalty is awarded, then the forward should back up 20 meters to build up speed, suddenly leap into the air, slide 10 meters across the grass, and then use his head to score from the penalty spot – in that case, he’s Biehoff. If the ball is legitimately cleared by the opponent’s defender, and the forward lies on the ground, clutching his leg in pain; when he sees that the referee ignores him, he gets up, shakes off the dirt, and runs away – then he’s Yao Xia. If the forward suddenly accelerates but accidentally steps on the ball, slides forward, ends up in a split position, and injures his thigh, then he’s Zhang Yuning. If he manages to cross the goal line as if gliding over the water’s surface, walks along the stands, grabs someone’s hair, and leaves home – then he’s Huang Feihong. If he dribbles past all of the opponent’s defenders and finds himself face-to-face with an empty goal, then suddenly shouts, “I’m not shooting! I definitely won’t shoot! I won’t shoot for 45 minutes!” “This is a Viagra ad. If he stops the ball on the goal line and then heads it in, then he’s Su Maozhen. If he stops the ball on the penalty area line and then shoots powerfully, breaking the net in the process, then he’s Badistuta. If he stops the ball on the middle line and then sends it in with a volley, then he’s Beihelanmu. If he places the ball on his own team’s goal line and then blows the ball straight into the opponent’s goal in one go, then he’s—Yan Shiduo! ! ! 　　 　　Just as he was about to shoot, the defender suddenly shouted, “Don’t shoot!” ”“Why?” “Hmph, this is my territory; I decide what happens here.” That defender was Jay Chou. 　　 　　If the player crosses their legs over the ball and moves them 18 times in a cycling motion, causing the ball to hit the goalpost, then that player is Denilson. 　　If you hear “Oh no” on the TV after a goal, it’s Duan Xuan commenting. 　　If it’s said that the one who scores the goal is the referee, then it’s Teacher Han who is saying those words. 　　 　　If, after a goal is scored, one hears someone talking non-stop about the player playing despite an injury, it must be Liu Jianhong trying to create drama. 　　 　　If you hear two people laughing obscenely after a goal, it’s Jianxiang and Zhang Lu watching Serie A. 　　 　　If he doesn’t get touched, he falls on his own – that’s Inzaghi. If someone touches him casually, he falls – that’s Tomassen. If someone hits him hard, he falls – that’s Owen. If someone hits him hard and he seems about to fall but doesn’t actually fall, that’s Maradona. If someone hits him hard and he remains motionless while the person who hit him falls first, that’s Batty. If the referee calls for a penalty because of a foul by a defender at this point, it’s the Chinese Super League. If the referee decides to keep playing at this point, it’s the Premier League. If the referee calls for a foul by an attacker at this point, it’s the Serie A. If the referee calls for a foul by an attacker and shows a yellow card, it’s La Liga. If someone shoots from just one meter away yet sends the ball high into the air, that’s Vieira. 　　 　　If, after a goal is scored, you hear the commentator talking about the girlfriend and family of the player who scored the goal, and another voice saying \"That’s right,\" then it’s Huang and Zhang Lu who are commenting. 　　 　　If he manages to score a goal after great effort and then says, “This goal net is quite tight,” it’s Lao Zhao. If he dribbles past defenders to score in the opponent’s goal and then turns around to look for his shoes, that person is Rooney.