Those who can hold back from laughing until the fifth time are truly great~~~~

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1. In my final year of high school, during chemistry class, the teacher taught us about organic chemistry and polymers. Suddenly, the teacher gave an example, drew a “phthaleide bond” on the blackboard, and said to everyone that this was a “eunuch”; we should add a “methyl group” to it, which caused laughter among the students. 　　 2. Still in middle school, I used to sleep naked in the summer and got bitten by mosquitoes; it was extremely itchy during class, but I obviously couldn’t reach in to scratch, so I just endured it! It’s unbearable! During the break, I stole a tube of cooling balm from my deskmate (a girl) and rushed to the restroom; only after applying it did I realize my mistake – it was so irritating that my DD stiffened up and I refused to go back! In summer, even with fewer clothes on, it’s still impossible to shield oneself; one has to bend over and make their way back to the classroom, then sit down tightly against the desk, not daring to move at all. That menthol oil really has a strong smell. My deskmate asked sharply, \"Did you steal my menthol oil? Where did you apply it?\" ! ————Life is worse than death for me! 　　I just opened the Coke, took a couple sips, shook it, and it gushed out. I covered it with my mouth and kept trying; eventually, it came out through the nose. 　　 3. One day, I got on a bus with a good friend of mine. The front seats were all occupied, so we went to the back, where there were exactly two seats left, and we sat down. There were two middle school boys sitting in the front seats. After one stop, a woman in her 20s brought a boy aged 7 or 8 on board. (I later found out it was her child; there were no seats available, so she stood next to those two middle school students.) Before long, the child started making a fuss, saying his leg hurt. That middle school student wisely stood up and gave his seat to the child. The young woman said, “Let the child sit on your knees.” 　　The middle school student agreed. The child sat on the middle school student’s knees. 　　A few more stops passed, and a girl got on. It’s extremely beautiful, and the outfit worn is also really **. Low-cut top, short skirt. 　　As the bus was moving, the child suddenly shouted at his mother, \"Mom, big brother’s little ** is moving around!\" The same as Dad’s. ” Strolling around! 　　Hehe, there’s commotion inside the car. 　　The middle school student was ashamed. Pulling the classmate along, he then shouted at the driver: “Ring the bell!” ! ”(He wanted to shout to open the door, haha.) Then, he got out of the car. 　　 4. When I was in high school, after waking up at home at noon, I ate two oranges; my fingers turned yellow from that, and I went to school without washing my hands. When I was with my classmates in the afternoon, one of them said, \"How disgusting are you? You wiped your fingers after going to the bathroom!\" ”I said, “It’s not poop; it’s because I ate oranges at noon.” Then I licked my fingers. 　　A few days later, things got terrible – the whole school knew about a student in our school who wiped his butt with his fingers after defecating, and when his fingers were dry he would lick them, claiming they tasted like oranges. 5. One day, I was walking on the street with a beautiful girl I’m close to. Suddenly, a vendor selling pornographic movies approached my friend and said, “Hey, girl, come take a look – there are new movies available.” My friend got furious… “What again? Do I know you?” 6. While eating in a hotel, I felt the urge to use the bathroom. The waiter kindly said, “Our hotel doesn’t have bathrooms; you can go to the public toilets across the street. We have an agreement with them – just say you’re there to eat!” 7. One day, one of my female friends ran up to me and said, “I’m so worried – I’m having heavy bleeding.” ” 　　“Bleeding disorders? ”I asked. 　　“It’s just that the menstrual flow is very heavy! ”Answer. 　　Oh, as a man, of course I have no idea what menorrhagia is. 　　Two flowers bloom, each representing one. 　　A few days later, my boss, who hadn’t raised my salary in years, suddenly did so. 　　I sat in the office, happily holding my pay stub, and said, \"It’s like I hadn’t had my period for months, and then suddenly today it started flowing like a flood.\" ” 　　After saying that, I looked up and saw that everyone in the office was staring at me. . . . 　　 8. In high school, during one of the breaks, the classmates all rushed outside to buy boxed meals. A girl took a shortcut to get there first, but the manhole cover ahead wasn’t properly secured and she fell in! After a while, she climbed up by holding onto the edge of the well; it was a rather awkward situation. A group of middle school students passed by in shock, and in a moment of quick thinking, she said as she climbed: Hey! It’s really hard to repair…… 9. In college, I studied computer science. During the practical session, everyone played CS frantically while the teacher was dozing off. Our captain, unable to contain his excitement, quickly set up a local network; it was the classic Dust2 map. The captain shouted, \"I’ll set it up! I’ll set it up – don’t compete with me.\" ——! Don’t worry, my captain; none of us will compete with you for it. 10. I met a boyfriend in college; we had been dating for only a short time, so I hadn’t been to his dormitory. One day, I had an urgent matter and went to his dormitory to find him. When I opened the door, I saw that everyone in his dormitory was there. Since I wasn’t very familiar with the people in his dormitory, I felt a bit nervous and asked where he was. 　　But for some reason, I blurted out, “Where’s my man?” ! ” 　　The entire dormitory fell silent for 10 seconds, and I rushed out the door. 　　 11. It’s really embarrassing to talk about! During this year’s May Day holiday, I went to the mall with my mom, and we spent a long time there. Later, we went to a store that sold sports shoes. My mom asked me to try on a pair of shoes. I was extremely tired at that time; in fact, I felt like I wasn’t thinking clearly either. ~~~~Maybe I tried on too many pairs of pants before; I started unfastening my belt without saying a word, and then I naturally reached to pull down my pants. Good heavens, my mom shouted, \"Hey, what are you doing!\" ! ? ? 　　That’s when I realized what was going on! That shoe salesman was stunned looking at me. I really was... Ugh! My face is as hot as roasted pork! It’s so embarrassing! 　　 12. I got my first period at the age of 13. Since I was too embarrassed to go and buy sanitary pads by myself, I wanted my mom to help me do it. But... it seemed like a very embarrassing thing to tell my mom as well, so I called her over and stammered for a long time. Finally, I mustered up the courage to say to my mom, “Mom, I’m pregnant.” (Actually, what I wanted to say was, “Mom, I have my period,” but due to nervousness, I said something else...) My mom widened her eyes and said to me, “What?” Huh? ? ? My face turned red in an instant; ugh… it was so frustrating. 13. In high school, I was having lunch with a friend near school. He ordered a bowl of wide noodles, while another friend was drinking cola. Then someone told a joke, and the person drinking cola laughed so hard that the cola came out of his nose. A friend laughed heartily at someone else’s embarrassing situation, only to find that a strand of noodle shot out of their nostril! 　　After graduating from university, I still can’t help but laugh every time I see him. 14. Once, I was shopping outside a store at the train station when a man rushed over, shouting urgently, “Sir, please give me a pack of sanitary pads.” Both the salesperson and I were surprised. But then we thought it was probably fine; maybe he was buying them for his wife. The salesperson immediately handed him a pack of regular sanitary pads. He became anxious and said, “No, that’s not what I want. I need the kind meant for men.” Both the salesperson and I were shocked... sanitary pads for men. 15. During the holidays, I went to visit a classmate’s school. There was a girl who accompanied me around the school. We passed by a restroom, and she said she needed to use the bathroom. I said I wanted to go too, so I headed towards the men’s restroom. Suddenly, she called out to me, took out a pack of tissues from her bag, and said, “There’s no paper inside. Do you have any?” Then she pushed the tissues into my hands... We just stared at each other. It seemed like she suddenly realized what she had done; her face turned red, and she said, “Just use them to wipe your hands...” I kept thinking to myself: Don’t you know that guys can just shake their hands to clean them? 16. There’s a fool living near my workplace. Apparently, he suffered some damage to his brain due to surgery, which caused problems with his nerves and mind. Every day, no matter whether he knew someone or not, he would approach them and ask the same question: “Right?” Isn’t it? Isn’t it? ......Just these two words – one can ask the same person that question over and over again. Once, after work, I met him at the entrance to the office. I was in a hurry to finish some tasks, and when he approached me, it seemed like he wanted to talk to me. I quickly said, “Yes, yes, I know...” But that idiot only said two words...... Idiot! I almost fainted from anger. 17. Back in middle school... Two classmates (seats next to each other) started arguing for some reason. One of them called the other “an idiot!” The other person got angry right away and retorted, “Your seatmate is the idiot!” The rest of us who were standing nearby couldn’t stop laughing... 18. During a Chinese language class, the lesson was about the harms of the environment; it talked about various things leaking out and causing serious pollution. When it came to the most emotional part of the lesson, the 40-year-old teacher angrily slammed the desk and shouted, “You humans! Don’t you know how to protect the environment??” The whole class was stunned. 19. When I was in college, we had to queue up at the gym to buy train tickets before the winter break. One year, while waiting in line, I suddenly felt someone poking me from behind. When I turned around, it was a classmate who was giving me a note. When I opened it, it read, “I’m the girl wearing a red sweater, about 20 meters behind you...” I looked carefully around and found her. She had rosy cheeks and was very cute – exactly my type. Her eyes showed anticipation and shyness. I thought, “Hey, maybe my good looks have attracted girls from the railway department as well.” ”So he hurriedly read what was written on the back of the note: “I have extra berths available for the trip to Hangzhou. If anyone wants to buy them, please let me know; if not, please pass the note on…” 20. A man was walking through a graveyard at night when he saw some light. Thinking it was a ghostly flame, he threw a brick at it. The light moved to another grave, so he threw another brick. Then he heard ??? It’s impossible even to go to the bathroom peacefully; in just the time it takes to smoke a cigarette, one gets hit with two bricks! 21. A new employee always recited formulas for everything he did. One day, an old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The employee said, “That will be xx yuan; here’s your change of xx yuan. Do you need a straw?” The old lady fainted on the spot... 22. One day after school, my deskmate invited me to go eat with her. Before leaving, she kindly reminded me to \"go to the bathroom.\" I was probably too focused on eating at that moment, so I blurted out, \"I’m not hungry.\" When I looked back, my deskmate was laughing so hard she even collapsed to the ground~ To be honest, have you enjoyed these 22 jokes??????