When you grow up, you should behave like an adult (Advice for those born in the 1980s)

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This post was last edited by ly0166 on 2010-8-26 at 17:54. If you are 20 years old but not yet 25. ——Kaifu Lee, this article is like a knife. It’s heart-wrenching to watch, truly heart-wrenching. If you are over 20 but under 25, you must find something other than love that will allow you to stand firmly on solid ground. You need to find a way to make a living. It’s not too late to consider it now. I’ve never thought that educational qualifications are important; geniuses aren’t necessarily those with formal training. But without such training, one can’t even get a minor role. You must gradually transform those fleeting thoughts into clear ideas and simple words. Neither splendor nor floating lasts long. You must understand that what’s not enough to bring pleasure from reading words are the content, ideas, depth, soul, spirit, and wisdom – these are what truly matter. Don’t read too much of the writing by female writers who are in the same vein as you. Avoid trivialities and unnecessary complaints. Don’t write whatever comes to mind. Don’t dwell on minor sadnesses and small touches of emotion. I want you to believe in such overused words as warmth, beauty, trust, dignity, and strength. I don’t want you to be depressed, empty, lost, to mistreat yourself or hurt others. I don’t want you to mess yourself up. Control your emotions and cherish them, understanding that such feelings are not something that everyone can have. Experiencing life is another matter; it does not mean degeneration or indulgence. Never accept that fake coolness and uniqueness. They are people with nothing to do who come up with excuses to justify their idleness; true coolness lies within. You need to have a strong heart. One must have a belief that will not wear down or yield, no matter how time passes. It’s not because I’m in the ivory tower of school that I say I love the world; it’s because, even after knowing about its darkness, dirtiness, and ugliness, I still say such things. Love well and live well. Youth is so short; do not lament growing old. You can stop to rest occasionally, but don’t crouch down to look around. When you take a path, remember not to look back. From time to time, ask yourself what you’re doing. When you’re sad and upset, cry loudly. After crying and washing my face, I patted it and forced a smile on my face for myself. Don’t rub it, or your eyes will be swollen the next morning. Give yourself a bright future and goals. Remember to often look up at the sky. Remember to look down at your feet while looking up at the sky. Whenever anyone asks you how many times you’ve been in a relationship, the answer is twice. Once, he loved me, but I didn’t love him. Once, I loved him, but he didn’t love me. True love is always in the next time. Don’t give the same person a second chance to hurt you. Do not associate with wayward youths or artists; avoid those who are carefree, and stay away from those who lead a life without a proper job. Don’t mistake foolishness for true love. When someone humiliates themselves to please you, never be moved by it. A man’s cigarette butt burns him, and the next one could burn you. Similarly, when this woman used her blade to cut her own wrist, it could cut yours next time. Never trust a man who isn’t willing to introduce you to his circle of friends. When a woman only wants to call you “baby,” insist that she use your name, because you’re a man. When a man or woman stops coming to you, stop going to them as well. Don’t trust those who use tactics in love. Don’t say harsh words when breaking up. Learn from the lessons, but don’t regret them. Regretting it is useless. Don’t do things like tearing up photos, burning letters, or destroying diaries – things that only characters in cheap love dramas would do. Believe in love. I believe that good men and good women still exist; they are unmarried and still searching for you among the crowd. Don’t say “no man (or woman) is good,” as this gives others the impression that you’ve met many people. Love material things, in moderation. Always remember that the spirit is more important. More beautiful than those luxury watches, brand names, and fashions is the diligent and vibrant you. If every penny you spend after the age of 20 still comes from asking your parents and relatives, then all those branded items you wear can only serve to highlight your shamelessness. Don’t think that wearing brand-name clothes means you have good taste; remember, without true substance, a mule with a golden saddle won’t turn into a fine horse. You are still young; aside from starting your career and building your future, you are now an adult and should at least stop being a burden to your parents, so that they can see the hope resulting from 20 years of hard work in raising you. Doing nothing will only turn you into a waste, a waste despised by everyone else, because such a person is nothing but a parasite. Don’t think that by wearing a strange hairstyle, clothes that aren’t masculine or feminine, and spraying offensive perfume, people will pay attention to you; understand that such behavior only draws attention to you as a monkey that’s different from the others. Many well-mannered people do not show their disapproval of your alternative self on their faces, but such disapproval certainly exists and will undoubtedly have extremely negative consequences for you. Don’t look down on the working people. Do not be ashamed of labor. The land isn’t dirty, and the smell of sweat isn’t unpleasant. Please respect those who seem to be in a worse living situation than you, but still work hard with their own hands to support their families, because that is how one shows respect for oneself. Always show compassion for those living at the bottom of society, because our loved ones are among them. We’re not delicate. We must be able to support ourselves; that is what constitutes your dignity. Don’t underestimate even a penny. You might as well try to earn it yourself. One must be a bit stronger sometimes; when being bullied, one must get revenge! But don’t hold a grudge. Let them hold their petty opinions. Principled tolerance and compassion will make you noble. Clever girls are cute, but don’t use that cleverness for scheming; it can be very exhausting. One should not be too showy in life, as being showy easily attracts trouble. But one shouldn’t be too low-key either; be strong when necessary, but certainly not aggressive. When hurt by a friend, don’t doubt the friendship, but be wary of those who betray you. Forgive, but do not forget. One should maintain a bit of innocence and childlike heart, and uphold a sense of chivalry toward friends. Be happy, be cheerful, be resilient, be warm. It has nothing to do with personality. But you must be loyal and diligent, and truly respect others, so that your life will not be dark. Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others as well. You will feel much more relaxed when you aren’t upset or saddened by minor setbacks or small things. Forgive the world and yourself. I need to tell myself that I deserve the best of everything. 1. Turn around faster than tears. This is necessary. After turning 20, you must learn to bear sadness; you must know that it will pass. I need to keep telling myself that I can be brave too. No, never, don’t cry in front of others easily. If others see your tears too often, they will think your tears are worthless. 2. You might have done many absurd things in the past. But please don’t think it’s something shameful. Please don’t think of it as a burden. After turning 20, it is a new beginning in your life. 3. Treat those who are good to you well in return. Interpersonal relationships are always based on mutual courtesy. Two-way rule. No one is obligated to be kind to you. After turning 20, keep your eyes open; remember to be kind to those who are good to you. 4. Define your goals and strive for them. What does it say? A woman without talent is considered virtuous; to have a good marriage, one must first possess talent. And the key issue here is not marrying well. It’s about you living a good life. Are you going abroad after turning 20? Looking for a job? Should I keep learning*? After turning 20, you are not far from entering society – are you ready? 5. Keep your promises to yourself; be firm when it’s time to be strict with yourself. Avoid being indecisive or holding onto things too tightly. Being too lenient with oneself prevents one from achieving great things. After turning 20, one must learn to face reality and can no longer indulge in daydreams all day long. 6. If you are in a relationship, do not give yourself completely without reservation. You’ve revealed everything; what do you have left for your future husband? Girls, learn to be kinder to yourself and don’t invest everything in so-called \"potential assets\". At all times, make sure you know what cards you have in hand. 7. Learn to be tactful in life. After turning 20, people won’t treat you as a child anymore, and no one will tolerate your mistakes. Forcing a smile at people and things we dislike is a disgusting thing we must learn to do. 8. Thank everyone who has hurt you. Then, on my 20th birthday, I waved at them and said, I no longer hate you. Hate stays in the youth before the age of 20; as you grow up, you must face the hurt. 9. Don’t engage in any unconventional behavior. You’re not Fat Pig Liu. It’s better to learn how to apply makeup – not smoky makeup, but a gentle and appropriate light makeup. An interviewer from a large company once told me that companies give priority to girls who wear light makeup. Why? Since you’re not in a hurry even about your own appearance, what are you going to be in a hurry about? There are no ugly women in the world, only lazy women. 10. Losing weight – easy to say. When you really lose weight until you look like a bamboo pole, you’ll find that a range of conditions such as low blood pressure, low blood sugar, and dizziness accompany you. It’s possible there could also be stomach cancer. After turning 20, you need to understand that you still have a long road ahead of you, and a healthy body is what will ensure you can keep going. 11. Do not expose those who sow discord. Wait until he has performed all those great acts, striving hard to perform and to make everything work out. Then tell him that you actually know everything. Then, Xiaoxiao left. 12. Yes, you have reached the legal marriage age, but you don’t need to rush into getting married. Perhaps you are in deep love, having sworn to each other eternal devotion. But you’re just over 20; you don’t know how long a lifetime really is. Days are lived, not imagined. Getting married is not just a matter between two people; it involves two families as well. The concept of matching social status that the older generation talked about is not an unfounded feudal idea. When getting married, you should hold the belief that it happens only once in a lifetime, so you must not be careless when making a choice. When it comes to love, just treat it as love. Get married slowly. 13. Passionate love is reserved for those in their early years. You are already 20 years old. Stop doing those silly things that will be laughed at by others. What, staying out all night, arguing in public, threatening suicide, crying, making a scene, and then hanging oneself? Those crazy things, that youthful recklessness – we’ve had enough of it. After turning 20, I learned to stay calm and composed. 14. Boyfriend: it’s better to go without than to have someone of poor quality. Don’t fall in love out of loneliness, and don’t fall in love just because of following trends. After turning 20, learn to take responsibility for your own life. 15. Don’t expect others to buy what you like. At 20, whether you’ve had casual relationships before or not, you’re past the age for such relationships. Women need to be independent, and financial independence is the foundation. 16. If a man tells you that he isn’t good enough for you, believe him. A man who says he’s not good enough for you will never be good enough for you in his entire life! Appreciation has nothing to do with ability, and nothing to do with money! Finally, always keep a smile ready for yourself and tell yourself that I can do it!