Learn to be silent

Thread Content

This post was last edited by BlueDot on 2010-9-5 09:13. 1) Learn to remain silent. Sometimes, when you are misunderstood and don’t want to argue, you choose to stay silent. Not everyone needs to know you, so you think there’s no need to shout to the whole world. But sometimes, you are misunderstood by the person you love the most; you are so sad that you don’t want to argue, and you have no choice but to remain silent. The whole world may not understand you, but he should understand. If he can’t, then what’s there to say? There are moments in life when even Schubert is at a loss for words; after all, not all right and wrong can be clearly defined, and it’s possible that there is no such thing as true right or wrong at all. Well, if one doesn’t want to talk, then they shouldn’t talk. When further words are pointless, perhaps silence is the best response. (2) At least calm. When you’re at the bottom of life’s valley, everyone around you tells you to be strong and to stay happy. Strength is absolutely necessary, but happiness? In this situation, it’s probably too much to ask of you. After all, who can feel happy when they’re in deep trouble? But at least one can stay calm. Approach this matter calmly, and handle all other matters that need to be dealt with in the same calm manner. Calm, with no happiness and no unhappiness. 　　 (3) Learning to bend over was an unexpected benefit for me. Disagreements with others can lead to verbal conflicts, so you end up feeling upset because you think it’s all due to others’ malice. Stop dwelling on it and go home to clean the floor. Grab a rag, bend down, kneel on the ground, and wipe every corner of the floor in front of you back and forth until it’s clean. Then reflect once again on every word I said during that conflict. Now, you realize that there are also things you’re doing wrong, right? You’re becoming more calm, aren’t you? Sometimes you must learn to bend over, because this gesture can help you become humble. While working your body, you also sharpened your mind. Moreover, you also have a smooth floor. This is your second achievement. (4) Don’t think about what if back then. You said that life is a long road with countless forks in the path, where one has to make choices constantly. If one simply chooses to eat fried noodles or fried rice, the impact seems minimal; yet decisions such as what major to pursue, what job to take, whether to get married or not, and whether to have children all have profound consequences, and different choices inevitably lead to entirely different lives. You also say that the unbearable aspect of life is the fact that there’s no chance to start over. If only things had been different back then, then things wouldn’t be like this now... Such regretful murmurs should be stopped. There is actually no real right or wrong choice at each crossroads; one only needs to view life as one’s own. A unique creation means one won’t keep looking back at what might have been if different choices had been made. (5) Strive hard; whether you succeed or not, at least you were beautiful once. Walking through the forest, you see a vine clinging to a tree trunk, softness and hardness intertwined – you are moved by this serene scene. Let happiness and belonging stay here. You think. Who knows what trials and hardships the future will bring? Perhaps the vines will break, and the trees will fall; perhaps the heavens will become desolate, and the earth will grow old. You’re thinking again. Then, please let time stand still at this moment. A pause is eternity. If there is such a serene moment in eternity, then all the hardships that may be encountered in the future are already compensated for and alleviated. (6) Stay simple. Because of overthinking, you often complicate your life. You are clearly living in the present, yet you keep thinking about the past and worrying about the future ； By insisting on carrying the past, future, and present along with you, your life will naturally be full of mess and confusion. It is merely a state of favor. Simply feel the changes in the weather through the skin, simply taste the scent of grass after rain through the nose, and simply use the eyes to take in the distant and nearby landscapes as if they were a painting. Simply live in the present. And at the moment, it really doesn’t matter whether it’s right or wrong, true or false. Since there is no right or wrong, there is no need to ponder ； Without truth or falsehood, there is no need to dwell on it or worry. Without right or wrong, truth or falsehood, isn’t it just like being in a dream? Yes, simply treat your life as a dream and go about it that way. 　　 (7) Occasionally “vulgar”... After eating too many health foods, you might occasionally want to snack on duck tongues and salted crispy chicken as well. After watching so many masterpieces, sometimes you too want to give a look at those series filled with endless slaps and tears. After listening to classical music for so long, you might occasionally want to sing pop songs about loving someone for a hundred years and hating them for ten thousand. You know that healthy food is beneficial for maintaining good digestion, that masterpieces of literature are useful for cultivating one’s temperament, and that classical music helps to elevate the soul. But sometimes, you really don’t want to live with such purposefulness all the time. In life, there’s no need to tie oneself so tightly. Occasional small indulgences are moral. Being filled with spiritual energy might make one seem more mature, but occasional vulgarity makes one more approachable. (8) Control your emotions – don’t waste them. You’re unhappy today because someone hurt your feelings with their words. You don’t like arguing, so you left ； But you just left that place, yet you didn’t leave the situation in which you were hurt by that person; therefore, the more you think about it, the angrier you become. The more frustrated you are, the less energy you have to focus on other things. Many matters that truly deserve your attention and effort get neglected, ignored, or overlooked amidst all your confusion and distress. Because you are simply focused solely on being angry. Playing games with emotions is a waste of oneself, and it’s a very bad kind of waste. After all, getting angry also requires effort, and it surely drains one’s vital energy. So, being as smart as you are, don’t let your emotions take control of you. Before you get angry again, remind yourself quietly: “Don’t waste it.” ” 　　 (9) Seize the best opportunity – never miss it. You once bought a piece of clothing you really liked but were reluctant to wear it, so you kept it carefully in your wardrobe ； After a long time, when you see it again, you find that it has become outdated. So, that’s how you missed it. You too once bought a beautiful cake but couldn’t bring yourself to eat it, so you placed it carefully in the fridge ； After a long time, when you see it again, you find that it has expired. So, you too missed it in this way. There are no clothes to wear at the moment when one likes them most, no cakes to taste at their most delicious, just as there are no things to do at the time when one really wants to do them – all of these are regrets. Life also has a limited duration; one should do what one wants to do as soon as possible. If you merely keep your wishes firmly in your heart without taking action to fulfill them, the only outcome is missing out on them, just like an outdated piece of clothing or an expired cake. (10) Occasional deviations from the plan 　　Once, you were taking a train to place A, but on the way you suddenly decided to get off at place B. Perhaps it was the unique name of the place that attracted you, or maybe it was a glimpse of the scenery that moved you; in any case, you changed your original itinerary and ended up on an unexpected journey full of surprises. Location A was your original goal, while Location B allowed you to experience a little adventure. Looking back, you say it was an unforgettable experience of infidelity for you. Isn’t that the case in many moments of life as well? Focusing wholeheartedly on the sole goal is nothing more than following the original plan ； Only by deviating from the preset path can you have the chance to discover other landscapes. 　　 (11) Quietly, softly, returning to calm... There was a time when you were in a low mood, too lazy even to pull back the curtains to look at the sunlight outside. So of course you also forgot to check on the pot of marguerites on the windowsill that needs water every day. Time passed in this way, and eventually, one day, you got through that low period in your mood and remembered your Margaret as well. Oh my God, poor flower, is she still alive? You cautiously pulled back the curtains, only to see her standing there, bathed in the wind, with a beautiful face. It turns out that during this time, although you forgot to give her water, Heaven did not forget to nurture her with rain and dew. Many things happen quietly out of sight, and they arrange themselves quietly. All things are created by Heaven, and Heaven nurtures them; there’s actually no need to worry about anything... All you need to do is be the best version of yourself, without leaving any regrets... That’s enough.