Discussions on the workplace: 4 major taboos when encountering attractive female colleagues in the office

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Mr. Li from Hydraulic Talent Network believes that being able to work in the same office area as attractive female colleagues is a blessing in itself; however, to maintain this sweet atmosphere that exists within workplace interactions, it is necessary to pay careful attention to the small details in our daily behavior. Below, the author will discuss some taboos regarding communication in the workplace when interacting with attractive female colleagues: 1. Do not praise other colleagues excessively in front of them. Generally, those who are praised appreciate any compliments from others, but even praise, when viewed from different perspectives, can evoke different reactions. For example, when you gather with a few colleagues, avoid praising one person excessively, as while you might satisfy that person, you could end up displeasing many others. It should be noted that Chinese people are different from Westerners; Westerners tend to be more open-minded and emotional, and when evaluating something, they usually do not deliberately relate it to other things ； On the other hand, Chinese people are more reserved and rational; when evaluating something, they might think of many deeper aspects. Therefore, special attention must be paid to this issue in interpersonal interactions; when praising someone, one should be cautious of the thoughts that others might have, avoiding situations where such thoughts lead to negative mental patterns that are difficult to resolve. Similarly, when interacting with attractive female colleagues, it is even more important to adhere to this principle, as you should also be aware that Chinese women are more sensitive than men and pay more attention to the implications of certain details. So, when you are in front of a beautiful woman and praise another one, especially regarding her appearance, you must be extremely careful. It’s possible that your unintentional compliments could turn into deliberate mockery in her eyes, even leading to an endless cycle of jealousy. The consequences are serious! 　　2. Don’t say all the compliments at once. Being willing to praise and compliment others is an innate habit among Chinese people; this is influenced both by traditional culture and by strategies for navigating life. As for how to praise others, it is also necessary to find the right measure – \"When the water is full, it overflows; when the moon is full, it wanes.\" Anything that reaches a \"peak\" tends to develop in the opposite direction. Applied to the workplace, it’s the same when complimenting a beautiful woman. Never rush to say all the compliments at once; learn to give them in a measured, gradual manner. For example, you prepare five glasses of water for your attractive female colleague; when she drinks the first glass, it tastes very sweet ； When drinking the second glass of water, it felt very refreshing ； By the time I had drunk the third or fourth glass of water, I felt very full ； If at this point you insist on handing over a fifth glass of water, it is likely to make the beautiful woman feel burdened, and it might even lead to feelings of disgust. It can be seen that praising others and giving water to them is based on the same principle. Praise should not be expressed all at once, just as five cups of water should not be given to someone in one go. One should learn to offer the first cup of sweet water, and then wait for the right moment before giving the second, third cup, and so on. In this way, every time a beautiful colleague drinks the water you give her, she will feel a sense of pleasure and sweetness, as if tasting fine nectar. 　　3. Don’t always habitually ask an extra question. Another flaw among Chinese people when speaking is their tendency to keep probing for more details. When talking to others, I always like to clarify issues right away; often, after posing a preliminary question, I continue to explore the topic until everything is fully understood. For example: in a company, a beautiful female colleague is called in by her boss for a conversation and takes a long time to come back. So guess what the other employees would think when this very attractive woman comes out of her male boss’s office? That’s right! The most common reaction is curiosity. But this curiosity is not evident on everyone’s face; for some, it’s just a fleeting thought before they go back to what they’re doing ； Some people simply offer a polite greeting such as “You’re back” or “Going to see the boss”, and that’s it ； Yet there are still some people who are not only curious, but after asking where they have gone to see the boss, they go on to ask what was discussed. It should be noted that phenomena like asking an extra question in this manner are actually quite common in our workplace as well as in daily life. The reason it’s called asking an extra question is that that extra part of the sentence is completely unnecessary, and sometimes it even has a negative impact that is unpleasant. Take the example above, the beauty and the boss – these are already somewhat sensitive terms. Yet some people simply do not know how to avoid such situations; they insist on showing extreme enthusiasm typical of Chinese people, asking questions that should not be asked and pressing further on those that already should be avoided. As a result, what was meant as well-intentioned concern turns into malicious curiosity, leading to estrangement and distance in interpersonal relationships – an utterly unnecessary action. 　　4. Don’t keep chatting non-stop with attractive female colleagues. After working in the workplace for some time, you might notice a quite interesting phenomenon: whether they are handsome or not, men tend to approach attractive female colleagues to talk to them. If there’s nothing to talk about, they create topics just to have something to discuss. This shows just how powerful the influence of attractive women is in today’s workplace! ““The gentle and virtuous woman is an ideal match for a gentleman” is nothing wrong with, but a balance still needs to be maintained here. Perhaps some people think that the most direct way to strengthen friendships is through more interaction and communication, especially verbal communication. In my opinion, this is just a misconception. It’s better to say less than to talk too much, and it’s better to speak well than to speak much. Language is indeed a good lubricant, yet talking too much often gives the impression of superficiality, because those who are generous with words are usually stingy in action. Therefore, I would like to advise male colleagues in the workplace who enjoy \"approaching\" others: talking too much is annoying, it brings trouble, it leads to failure, and it is of no use. Rather than talking non-stop without meaning, it’s better to stay silent unless one wants to make a remarkable impact with what is said. Furthermore, in our interactions with attractive female colleagues, we can also try a form of silence. Silence is precious; silence is gold. Silence is like a stone thrown into a cave, producing no echo at all – how can others not feel nervous? How can one not feel puzzled by your unfathomability? With a beautiful colleague around, how could she not be curious about your silence? How can one not be moved by your mystery? It can be seen that one of the greatest charms of men that attract women is not bland expressions, but a firmness tinged with silence.