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Having some free time over the weekend, posting a few little jokes

2010-11-28View Original

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If you’re bored on the weekend, feel free to share some silly jokes, boast a bit, or talk about your own embarrassing experiences – it’s fine to make everyone happy. Let me start with a few jokes, some of which I’ve collected and others that I’ve come up with myself: 1. Someone posted: In college, one of my classmates used a reservation ticket to secure a seat, only to find later that the ticket was gone and so was the seat. Someone replied: A guy of mine used his girlfriend to reserve a seat, and in the end his girlfriend was taken away from him and he lost the seat too... During our graduation project, two senior girls helped us with the experiments. One day, while I was working on an experiment, I heard the two senior girls talking nearby. One of them said in a low voice, “I really like that wetland at the school.” ”There were only the three of us in the lab at that time; I was so excited that I didn’t wait to hear the rest and, feeling embarrassed, stepped back. The next day, I secretly handed over a note: Actually, I’ve liked you for a long time too. Signature: Your junior colleague. 3. Under the “Personal Awards” section of someone’s resume, it is stated that they received the Master Kong “One More Bottle” award multiple times during their time at school.
Reply #22010-11-28
{:1_90:} That’s amazing, especially the one that won an award
Reply #32010-11-28
I remember when I was in middle school, we had breakfast at school. Usually, I would bring my meals from home and heat them up in the cafeteria. One day, I found that the steamed buns I had brought from home were gone; they were still missing the next day. So I came up with a trick: on the third day, I added laxatives to the steamed buns. Sure enough, it’s gone again. As a result, after class, one student couldn’t hold it in even after going to the bathroom several times; the sight was unbearable.
Reply #42010-11-28
It’s not sent in the wrong place; this is the leisure area. It would be inappropriate to send it to the work area:lol
Reply #52010-11-28
Reply to 6# jia717: Haha, I didn’t see it clearly. I usually only browse the work-related sections, so I was wondering how it ended up posted here
Reply #62010-11-28
1. United States: Mayors have to please everyone they meet; China: Everyone has to please the mayor. 2. United States: Ordinary people can act recklessly, but officials cannot ; China: Officials can act recklessly, but ordinary people cannot. 3. United States: Public intellectuals have as their mission to criticize **; China: Public intellectuals have as their mission to praise **. 4. United States: The most critical intellectuals win top awards; China: The most laudatory intellectuals win top awards. 5. United States: The country is poor but its people are wealthy; it **prefers to owe huge amounts to China in order to maintain social welfare programs**. China: The country is wealthy but its people are poor; it **still lends large sums of money to the United States, ignoring the well-being of its own people**. 6. United States: Schools provide little **education, yet the elite are highly patriotic; China: Schools place emphasis on **education, but the elite emigrate in large numbers. 7. United States: Amateur sports for young athletes in their free time ; China: Young athletes study* in their free time. 8. United States: Learning from China’s traditions* ; China: Learning modernity from the United States*. 9. Americans: Like to adopt children in China ; Chinese people: Like to give birth in the United States. 10. The United States**: Bold on the outside but gentle on the inside; it isn’t afraid of offending any country, only seeks to please its own people. China**: Gentle on the outside but bold on the inside; it doesn’t want to offend any country, only isn’t afraid of offending its own people
Reply #72010-11-28
A film crew was shooting outside the village. During the break, a group of actors playing Kuomintang officers and soldiers removed their costumes and went into the village to find a toilet; at the village entrance they met an old farmer and asked him where the toilet was. The old farmer shook the actor’s hand excitedly and said, \"When did you return?\" Don’t go to the bathroom yet; I’ll take you to catch the village officials. If we wait any longer, those guys will run away. . .
Reply #82010-11-29
Those upstairs are really strong; be careful to hide yourself. I admire you!

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