【Marriage】Should be a good thing, right? There’s no reason to be unhappy! 【Help needed】
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Before I knew it, I had reached the age to get married. Marriage should be a joyous occasion in one’s life, but things often don’t go as smoothly as one might hope. First of all, there are differences in wedding customs between the two families; the woman’s family requires a engagement ceremony, with costs of 6,600 or 8,800, while our family doesn’t have such a tradition. The woman’s family also demands a dowry of 38,000 or 36,000, whereas in our case it’s only 8,800 in total. It’s really tough to be caught in this situation. Both sides became very upset over this matter. Additionally, the woman wants the man to buy a house in the city, and it has to be paid in full, which is absolutely unbearable for my family. We love each other so much; should I blame fate for being unfair to us? Or... let’s all pay attention and see what we can do What are the local customs like? Should both sides step back? Should it follow the man or the woman?
:Shut up: he he he, don’t talk!!!
Both sets of parents should sit down and talk! I think 1888 is quite suitable! No need for an engagement! ! ! It’s just the form!
I guess you’re not an only child; you must have siblings. It would be better if you were an only child. Because in the future, all of your parents’ property will belong to you, but it’s different if you have brothers. That’s how people are; the woman, fearing she’ll be at a disadvantage if she asks for less, tries hard to get as much as possible from the man before marriage. The man, in order to have a \"better\" future, has no choice but to endure this situation, and in the end it is the parents who end up having to borrow money everywhere to take care of their children’s needs. The practice of paying a bride price for engagements and marriages exists in virtually all places, with only differences in the amount. If you truly love each other, none of these should be problems. Money is earned by people, and houses are bought with that money; you can take things slowly after getting married. Everything will get better with one’s own efforts.
Love is a matter between two people, while marriage is a matter between two families. But as long as the two people are in love, there is nothing they can’t overcome
Generally, it follows the customs of the man’s family. Here, the betrothal gift is 10,001, and that does not include furniture or other items; my wife’s family requires 38,000. We follow the customs of our own family
The idea of a bride price is completely unreasonable! In what era is this still required? Marriage isn’t about money or a house! My opinion is: do whatever you want; if that doesn’t work, just get married while pregnant!
The betrothal gift is just one of the many steps in getting married; there isn’t really a fixed rule regarding it, and generally, the amount varies from case to case.
Hehe, since the two of them love each other so much, why bother with so many worldly constraints! The poster should be more open-minded and have a serious talk with his girlfriend; things will improve a lot. Marriage is an important matter for one’s own life, and both partners need to have firm opinions. Some things aren’t that complicated; it’s just that we overthink them and end up doing too little, which in turn puts more strain on ourselves, our loved ones, and our relatives.
If you have money, buy a house; if not, it’s useless to ask. Do we all think that the man’s family should have the money to buy a house? I just got married too and don’t have a house, but I think it’s fine as long as the two of you love each other. Although renting a place can be a bit depressing, it would be even more depressing to marry someone who doesn’t love you. However, I think my husband and I can still afford to buy a house; it’s just 2 years later, so let’s just wait a bit longer.
Hehe, it mainly depends on the two of you reaching an agreement. As for whether it’s considered a tradition or not, our parents already did a lot by raising us and covering our college expenses; it’s not easy at all. If the family doesn’t have that much money, there’s no need to pursue such things. Talk to your girlfriend carefully – I think she’ll understand. Her parents certainly don’t want to end up with a pile of debts just because of marriage. As long as she agrees, I think the woman’s parents won’t have any objections either. . . .