The year is coming to an end; come in and have some fun. Whether it’s good or bad, it’s just one year.

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1. One day, Zhu Bajie asked Tang Seng sadly, “Master, am I the ugliest person in the world?” ”Tang Seng replied helplessly, “Go and ask Sister Guanyin.” ”An hour later, Bajie returned happily, smiling and asking, “Master, who is that Sister Feng?” ” 2. South Korean President: “We must turn South Korea into one of the top seven powerful nations in the world within a decade!” ” Audience A: “Which six ** would those be?” ” Listener B: “……Qi, Chu, Yan, Zhao, Wei, Qin” 3. Bow to heaven and earth, and from then on endure one’s wife’s tyranny ； Bow twice to one’s parents, and also try to please one’s mother-in-law ； The couple bowed to each other; from then on, they tightened their belts ； Taken to the bridal chamber, I knelt on the floor while she slept in the bed ； Alas, I am a sheep and she is a wolf; with a wife, years of imprisonment lie ahead. . . 4. What’s so special about hosting the Olympics? What’s so great about hosting the Asian Games? What’s so special about hosting the Universiade? Wait until you’ve handled the Spring Festival travel rush properly, and then come to boast to us! 5. 【Marry, or Not to Marry – The Most Talented Poem of 2011】Do you marry, or not? ； Your mom is always there, shifting between sadness and joy ； You remain, or you don’t remain ； Youth is always there; it either comes or it goes ； You can pick, or don’t be picky ； There are only a few items; no additions, only reductions ； You accept it, or you refuse to accept your fate ； Love must be forgotten; even reluctance must give way ； Come into the arms of a single man, or let a single man settle in your heart ； They looked at each other, speechless ； Turn off the light, take off your clothes. 6. It is said that a beautiful pair of antithetical poems circulates in the Chinese Department of Peking University. Written by a girl: Last night, while walking on the playground, I encountered a frog trying to act cool; it kept vomiting, and all I could do was hit its head against a tree! The guy below says: Looked so cool on the court last night; saw a dinosaur crash into a tree. KB, KB – poor little tree! ! ! 7. Ten criteria for China’s new white-collar workers: ① A monthly salary of over 20,000 yuan ； ②Keep working out and exercising ； ③At least two bedrooms ； ④There is a vehicle worth around 150,000 yuan for commuting ； ⑤Have a fixed circle of friends ； ⑥Work is not limited to being done in the office; working remotely is the trend of the future ； ⑦The job involves working from 9 to 5, with enough free time ； ⑧It has unique ways of entertainment ； ⑨Valuing a low-carbon lifestyle ； ⑩There are favorite fashion brands. See if you’re a white-collar worker? 8. During exam week, the QQ status of a certain Mopper: The amount of material required for the exams is actually as much as that of a sanitary pad, yet the scope of the exams is equivalent to that of regular daily use; students therefore need extended versions for use at night. But even then, there is still leakage. 9. Men see naive women as innocent, while women see innocent men as naive! 10. The husband drives away on a long trip. While listening to the radio at home, the wife heard a report and hurriedly picked up the phone. Wife: “Honey, I just heard on the radio that there’s a car driving in the opposite direction on the highway. You must be very careful.” ”Husband: “It’s not just one car; I saw hundreds of cars going in the wrong direction.” 11. There’s a fact that must be shared with everyone: The Chinese men’s national football team ranks 83rd in the world. This rank is far higher than China’s rankings in terms of GDP per capita, average income per capita, index of government integrity, social welfare, healthcare system quality, environmental index, and natural resources per capita… So, what right do you have to mock Chinese football? ! 12. 【Very anxious, very Gong Linna】Factory below Guang Bian twenty soldiers eleven flowers half and this two above dawn above two books and half flower ten soldiers twenty Bian Guang below factory below Guang Bian twenty soldiers eleven flowers half and this two above dawn above two books and half flower ten soldiers twenty Bian Guang below factory below Guang Bian twenty soldiers eleven flowers half and this two above dawn above two books and half flower ten soldiers twenty Bian Guang below factory below Guang Bian twenty soldiers eleven flowers half and this two above dawn above two books and half flower ten soldiers twenty Bian Guang below factory below Guang Bian twenty soldiers ten 13. Beijing legislator Liang Bei discusses the idea that people born in the 1980s lack the means to cope with high housing prices; her proposal is to have intergenerational marriages: a 20-year-old woman marries a 40-year-old man, and when the woman is 40 and the man is 60, the man retires while the 40-year-old woman marries a 20-year-old man ； The same is true for the man: at the age of 20, he marries a 40-year-old woman. When the man is 40 and the woman is 60, he asks her to retire, after which the 40-year-old man marries another 20-year-old girl. 14. A Mopper’s summary: Those who are charming are called beauties; those who are intelligent are called talented women; those who are gentle are called ladies; those who are soft-spoken are called kind-hearted; those who are straightforward are called bold; those who are silly are called sunny; those who are fierce are called cool and attractive; those who are modest are called dignified; those with a foreign-style appeal are called elegant; those with a unique style are called distinctive; those who are efficient are called capable; those who are sexy are called intriguing; those who are young and pretty are called vibrant and youthful; those who are still attractive in their older age are called full of charm; those who are outstanding are called fearless in the face of challenges; those who prefer to focus on themselves are called self-driven; those who are delicate and fragile are called delicate and dependent; those who don’t resemble typical women are called superwomen! 15. Gua Ke is a divine beast of the Later Jin Dynasty. Originally, it was classified as a C-rank beast. However, thanks to the supportive auras of numerous senior divine beasts, the fertility of the Malagebi region, and the abundant harvests of large snow lotuses in recent years, it has managed to discover and refine a super artifact—the “Tall Tree.” Now, it roams freely across numerous deserts.
16. A young donkey asked an old donkey: “Why do we eat dry grass every day, while Newton gets premium feed at every meal?” The old donkey sighed and said, \"We guys can’t compete with them; we make a living by running errands, while they make a living by their strength！」 17. Biology class. The teacher asked, “If neither parent suffers from this genetic disease, but the child does, what is the most likely explanation?” (The standard answer is “gene mutation”.) A deep yet clear male voice came from a dark corner in the back: “Adultery.” ” 18. When I first graduated: Brothers, see you later ； One year after graduation: Guys, we’ll all have wives someday ； Later: Brothers, I regret having a wife ； And later: Brothers, there will be stepwives ； Finally: Guys, it’s sad to have a second wife. 19. After staying a virgin for 21 years, I finally... became 22 last night. 20. A bull, while running, saw a cow grazing by the road and said to her urgently, “Run away! The experts are coming.” ” Cow: “What’s there to fear with the expert coming? Isn’t an expert a human being?” ”The bull said, “Now experts are just full of nonsense.” The cow was shocked upon hearing this and started running away, asking the bull as she ran, “Experts talk nonsense – you’re a bull, so what are you afraid of?” ” The bull said, “You really don’t know anything; nowadays, experts not only talk big but also tell nonsense.” 21. 【Big breasts, big brain】American sociologist Ewen Rosdell conducted a comparative study on the relationship between breast size and IQ among 1,200 American women, and found that the fuller a woman’s breasts, the smarter she was. Women with fuller breasts have an IQ that is about 10 points higher than that of average women. Even those women with a “medium” bust size score 3 to 4 points higher than those with a “flatter chest.” It is said that the Bureau of Statistics reported the average bra size for Chinese women to be 34B. Are you falling short of this average? 22. Some people are alive, but they are already dead. . . Some people, once they die, don’t want others to live! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! For example, Newton, Leibniz, Lagrange... 23. Dreams, just like the classics, never fade over time; on the contrary, they become even more precious. ——\"Old Boy\" 24: Every day, I take the subway home with my girlfriend. At some point, there started to be a handsome guy leaning against the train at the subway entrance, sending her loving glances. At first, she ignored him, but since the guy and the train showed up there every day on time, she gradually became filled with anticipation, and became increasingly cold toward me. Until that day, the handsome man held a red rose and asked her, “Would you be willing to leave him?” “Of course,” she replied, excited. He turned to me and said, “She doesn’t love you anymore; be my boyfriend.” I took the bouquet. 25. Someone named Mopper topped up his phone account by 100 yuan, but entered the wrong phone number; it was a bit disappointing. Just call that guy and ask if he can refill my account? As a result, that guy said in frustration, \"Bro, it’s the end of the year – everyone is demanding payment. I finally managed to stop the service, and you damn well reactivated it for me!\" 26. The new four modernizations have finally been achieved: men becoming more feminine, women becoming like pets, pets becoming aristocratic, and the aristocracy losing its culture. . . 27. Question in a university admission test: “Please describe the process of transformation from a girl to a woman.” ”One candidate managed to solve it with just three characters and successfully obtained the qualification for direct admission to graduate school: person, individual, eight. ——Comment: Absolutely amazing! ! ! 28. 【Cool and unique status messages】1. I’ve lost my first kiss again… 2. I’ve given you my phone number; why don’t you understand what I’m thinking? You should top up my account with dozens of yuan regularly, whether there’s anything to talk about or not ； 3. Living in this harmonious society, I feel very secure. Since good people are not overlooked, why would there be any fear that it might overlook bad people? 4. That person is really impolite; he never talks to me during class ； 5. The emperor referred to himself as \"the solitary one,\" and the three thousand beauties in his harem should be called \"widows.\" . . 29、The 10 most beautiful things in the world: 1. The first kiss ； 2. Watch the sunrise ； 3. Hold hands with someone you care a lot about ； 4. Lie in bed and listen to the sound of the rain outside ； 5. The feeling of anxiety every time I see that person ； 6. Talking to roommates late at night when unable to sleep ； 7. A trusting look ； 8. When sleeping, the sun shines on the body ； 9. Waking up and realizing there are still a few hours of sleep left ； 10. A warm bedcover in winter. 30. The whole semester was wasted; as the exams approached, I was completely overwhelmed. I didn’t sleep for a whole week, spending all that time memorizing material. When I entered the exam room, I collapsed; I started crying as soon as I got the test paper. Everything I had memorized wasn’t on the exam, and I didn’t know how to answer the questions that were there. . . 31. Favorite dialogue: “You’re so wonderful; more and more people will like you. So, what about me?” ” “It’s liked by me. ” 32. 【How can I bear this! 】 A girl was arguing with a male classmate at the school gate. Pointing at his nose, she shouted, “Go find that old woman of yours who was born in 1989!” ” 33. True friends don’t send messages on holidays, nor do they make phone calls to greet each other in normal times. But when something comes up, they pick up the phone and can get straight to the point without even needing a polite greeting like \"I’m sorry\". . . 34. When a man loses his backbone, he becomes more and more effeminate ； Women lose their delicacy and become increasingly adorned with jewels ； When artists lose their talent, they become more and more sinister ； The merchant lost his kindness and became increasingly infuriating ； The literati have lost their creativity and are becoming increasingly artificial ； The rich lack integrity and are becoming increasingly arrogant ； The poor lose their confidence and suffer more and more. There is no fresh air between cities; the air is polluted and murky. This is the state of society nowadays, an oppressive atmosphere that makes it hard to breathe. . . 35. Met two French people. One might be a teacher who teaches Chinese, and the other should be his student. The teacher happily pointed at the Chinese calendar and said to the students, \"Look, these two characters are pronounced ‘Lei Feng’.\" This is Lei Feng Memorial Day. He is very famous in China because he helped many people during his lifetime. The students said in admiration, \"Ah, you really have wide knowledge!\" After saying that, the two of them left happily. I went over to take a look and saw that the calendar read: Frost’s Descent. 36. I never fold the blanket when getting up; studying never feels tiring to me. I don’t join the student council – it doesn’t matter at all to me ； Often unable to sleep at night, wondering who would be the best match; men and women should be paired appropriately, as youth should not be wasted ； Knowing full well that it’s wrong not to study, I still go to drinking parties, stay up late at night, and often wipe away tears in class ； It’s a place where many competitors gather; there’s no need to memorize anything for the final exams, and if you fail them you have to drop out. . . 37. After reading his son’s diary, the husband beat his wife; the diary read: Today Uncle Chen came to our house, and Mom said I could have some snacks after finishing my homework. Then, Uncle Chen praised me for doing my homework well, and he picked up my mom. Mom told him to be careful, after which he kissed my mom as well as me. The wife angrily scolded her son, who cried, “Dad, I used the punctuation marks incorrectly.” . . 38. 【Girls aren’t easy to deal with, hehehe! ! 】1. When a girl wears men’s clothes, it’s considered stylish; when a boy wears women’s clothes, it’s considered weird. 2. It’s considered cute when a girl gets angry, but it’s considered annoying when a boy gets angry. 3. It’s considered delicate when a girl cries, but it’s seen as cowardly when a boy cries. 4. It’s only natural for girls to spend money on boys, but it’s absolutely unacceptable for boys to spend money on girls. 5. When a girl hits a boy, it’s considered acting cute; when a boy hits a girl, he’s a jerk. . . 39. There was a tribe that never wore underwear. Visitors advised them that wearing underwear kept one clean and warm. So I put it on, but I didn’t take it off when I went to defecate. When I looked back, wow! It’s so clean; there’s nothing at all. Once you sit down, it’s actually quite warm. . . . . . 40. What keeps a woman thinking about something is emotion, while what keeps a man thinking about something are feelings. Feelings deepen over time, while sensations fade away with it. After all, they are different species; so who can understand the deep love of another, and who can comprehend why someone leaves? ------ Xu Zhimo