The funniest year-end reflections

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1. There are always over thirty days each month when I don’t want to go to work! 2. I spent a fortune on college, and in return got a pile of books； I’ve graduated, and using these books to get money, I still can’t afford even a sack! 3. Give yourself an English name called Stress Mountain. 4. Ever since I got sick mentally, I’ve become more energetic. 5. Traveling means going from a place where one is tired of living to a place where others are tired of living. 6. If the fire truck doesn’t arrive soon, the fire will be out. 7. Raising fish is quite troublesome; the water needs to be changed once a week, and I often forget to do it. After that, the fish were changed only once a week. 8. The most ** thing in this world isn’t** molecules hijacking you; it’s Filipino police coming to rescue you. 9. The farthest distance in the world is when we go out together – you go to buy an iPhone 4, while I go to buy four bags of apples. 10. Faced with price increases by Sinopec, CNPC, and CNOOC, local cheap oil producers have clearly stated that they will not raise prices for now. In response, the general public said: This is what a truly responsible and conscientious central state-owned enterprise should be like. 11. Now, the homebody who has no house, no car, and no girlfriend is given a new name: Low-Carbon Guy. 12. New herbal guidelines: Drink Sanlu for frequent urination, drink Shengyuan to level the chest, use Bawang for excessive body hair. 13. Everyone is destined to die; some die from measles, others from the measles vaccine. 14. The most incisive one-sentence review of the three new Chinese blockbusters: Modern men watch \"If You Are the One\" during the day and let things go unchecked at night, which results in many orphans caused by accidents