It was my first time visiting my boyfriend’s family, and his mother didn’t give any gift for the meeting; I wonder what kind of attitude my own mother-in-law has
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and I’ve been to his home a few times (in Hengshui). Every time I went there, I felt that his family was nice people, though they weren’t very talkative. However, on my first visit, his parents didn’t give me any gifts as a welcome gift, and they never discussed what would happen between us in the future, nor did they ask what my parents thought about it. First of all, I want to clarify that it’s not about being greedy for money; it’s just that in my family (in Langfang), it’s common practice to give gifts when visiting someone’s home for the first time – whether things go forward between us or not, my future mother-in-law will definitely give me a gift. My boyfriend doesn’t know anything about this custom; he only said that his family really likes me. But I feel a bit strange inside; I think the distance isn’t that great, so the differences shouldn’t be significant. Could it be that they’re not satisfied with me? That’s why I’d like to ask all of you who are experienced in these matters: 1. Could you help me analyze my mother-in-law’s attitude? She probably doesn’t dislike me, right? 2. What are the customs and traditions related to weddings in Hengshui? Thank you all, (*^__^*) Hehe……
First, ask your boyfriend if there is this *custom in their village. By interacting with them, one can observe the current living conditions of the boyfriend’s parents. Their reluctance to talk may be due to a lack of communication skills, rather than any dislike toward someone; it’s best to take the initiative to speak to them...
A preliminary analysis suggests that your future mother-in-law doesn’t like you or doesn’t trust you; what if you run away after giving her the gift money?
It’s normal; many customs in rural areas change once you leave that village and enter another place, let alone when crossing different regions
It shouldn’t be! Even three or two coins matter; how can one be completely stingy!
You two have been together for some time now; you can just ask your boyfriend. He will ask what his own parents think, and usually if parents disagree, they would tell their children directly.
But generally, there is always some sort of gift given when meeting
Didn’t your boyfriend tell your mother-in-law in advance? A friend of mine took his girlfriend to his family’s house, and since it’s customary on the girl’s side to give a gift as a token of respect, the guy told his mother beforehand that he wanted to give such a gift, no matter how small it might be. Hugs for you; your mother-in-law might be a bit reluctant or think it’s not the right time. If she doesn’t say anything, it’s hard for you to say anything either. Your boyfriend should bring this up, after all, they are the family. When a girl goes to a boy’s home, she hopes to be treated with respect. Although we’re not greedy, it makes our parents happy when they see that the mother-in-law shows respect. That way, the daughter doesn’t feel like she’s unimportant in someone else’s home. Ask your boyfriend to mention it. . It’s good~~~~~~~
Being not far apart isn’t a reason. On our side, separated by a river, the customs are also different; let’s communicate more
It’s all just formality; why worry too much about it?
Reply to 3# wl0302: These are just my humble insights; I’m definitely not taking advantage of the situation! Giving a small gift as a token of appreciation shows how much one values the relationship. Besides, when a girl comes to the house, she surely brings a gift for her future mother-in-law