Someone touched my butt

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One night, a private got up to use the bathroom. Our unit’s toilets didn’t have any light, so he had to go in the dark. While he was in the middle of using the toilet, he felt someone touching his buttocks. Frightened, he ran out without even putting on his pants and went to find the squad leader, shouting, “Squad leader! Squad leader! Someone in the bathroom is touching my buttocks!”
The squad leader replied, “Is that really the case?! Don’t tell anyone about this. I’ll deal with it. Go back and sleep.” The next day, the squad leader told the platoon leader about what had happened. Worried that it might affect the morale of the unit, they decided that if such a thing happened again, they would all go together to catch the culprit.
A week passed without any more incidents of “ghosts”...
One night, it was that same private again who went to use the bathroom. As soon as he squatted down, he felt someone touching his buttocks. This time he screamed even louder. All the platoon leaders rushed to the bathroom; some carried sticks, others brooms. Seven or eight of them gathered around the door of the toilet, with all the lights shining on it, trying to see what was inside. At that moment, one of the platoon leaders opened the door, and the others peeked inside. They were all shocked; they stood there frozen for about three or four seconds. Then one of the platoon leaders said, “XXX! What the hell is touching my buttocks? It must be feces coming out!!!” "