A few amusing stories

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This post was last edited by 492059297 on 2011-8-19 09:54. Huang Meng, the mayor of Huzhou City in Zhejiang Province, stole 200 million yuan; he had 50 million yuan in cash at home and owned 84 properties. As a result of the investigation, he was sentenced to several years in prison, removed from his government position and party membership, and became an ordinary citizen. With such questions, shouldn’t the public accept these evil organizations that once consisted of outstanding individuals? Please stay in your current organization to pass the time! Please do not tarnish the innocent and humble reputation of the people! According to the media, he is China’s biggest corrupt official; the leaders of some departments can only smile without saying anything – 200 million is indeed a huge amount! 　　Another scandal involving Baidu’s paid search ranking system has emerged; CCAV2 revealed it through extended periods of monitoring. Are the two brothers at odds with each other? I believe Baidu’s powers can surely turn misfortunes into good fortunes and bring luck in times of trouble; after all, AV is just AV. 　　Sheep also take clenbuterol in order to lose weight; this shouldn’t be news at all, as it was something people could have predicted long ago. Since clenbuterol seems to be so effective, why not develop a weight-loss product for humans, with clenbuterol as its main ingredient? Such a product would surely be well received by those who struggle with weight loss and find traditional methods ineffective. I will definitely buy it for my sister as a birthday gift then. 　　Beijing is making great efforts to crack down on the use of clenbuterol in pork, and this effort **will continue into next year. In fact, the high price of pork means that most people can no longer afford to eat it; even if the pork is fatty, it can still be eaten, so there’s no need at all to use pork flavoring. Hey, how about we switch to fat flavoring instead? 　　The funny stories I mentioned earlier, which I saw yesterday, all came from official media. Here’s another joke. 　　Last night, it was discovered that Zhejiang TV had copied Jiangsu TV’s program \"If You Are Not Serious, Don’t Come\" and renamed it \"Love Connection.\" Faced with ten girls whose photoshad been beautified to the extreme, a determined young man said, \"If my whole life is meant to be spent on buying a house, a car, and having children, then I’ve come into this world for nothing...\" The ten lights of those beautiful girls were mercilessly turned off, and the young man left the stage. What era is this? Talking about dreams without a house or a car – how outdated. Participating in such shows means choosing the wrong stage; what kind of stage is this even? You have money, a car, and a house; you’re eager to go to the stage where those girls are willing to have sex with you as soon as the show ends. Boy, you’re too naive and romantic! 　　They also talk about women, because topics related to women tend to be more harmonious; words usually aren’t harmonious, and since they can’t achieve success in their careers, they can only talk about women. Well, my good friend has finally come to his senses and decided to buy a house as well as get married; if he can’t find the right partner, he’ll just keep a cat and a dog. I approve of that idea – marriage shouldn’t be entered into out of convenience. I’ve been single for so many years and I still want to get married. If cats and dogs could bring me water and medicine when I have a stomachache, that would be a good option as well. But what my friend said is also true – it’s like something out of an Andersen fairy tale; cats and dogs can’t help with certain things. Getting married is still necessary, for example, because there will be no one to bring you a pill, and things will become even worse when you get older. My friend is absolutely right ； It’s true that without a house, a car, or money, no one will be with you. Although a kind and beautiful girl once told me she liked me a long time ago, and I believed she was sincere, she didn’t dare to commit her life to me later on, because the cost and risks involved were too great. I didn’t have the strength to fulfill her dreams, just like those guys in the shows who are dismissed by the girls. That’s how the material world works: most girls are interested in your current situation and won’t risk their youth on a uncertain and unproven future ten years down the line. So it’s useless for me to like that girl either, because in the end she’ll still marry someone who has money, a house, and a car. This is in line with the laws of nature, just as in the natural world: strong lions are able to catch prey, and only male lions who are strong enough are entitled to have female lions. Humans are also returning more and more to their animal instincts, as humans are ultimately still animals and retain their animalistic traits, such as the principle of the strong preying on the weak and possessiveness. Therefore, without material things, there is no love, let alone marriage. 　　Yes, it’s extremely difficult to find someone whom you truly like in one’s lifetime. If years ago I had seven or eight people under me, along with a few guns, and could have become a small boss to earn ten or eighteen thousand so as to give her peace of mind, then the person who gives me medicine today would surely be her. But in life, there are noifs, and one cannot go back. But the confidence and courage in the statement \"Sooner or later, you’ll belong to me\" make life worth looking forward to. If I manage to do it in a couple of years, when she’s alone with no one to take care of her, will she change her mind? I don’t know; I only know that this thing is quite materialistic and practical. 　　The difficult month of August is characterized by both gloom and sweltering heat; I have no idea how to wrap up my current work. Calling a pancake vendor to make a full Manchu-Han dish – other than saying it’s to put him to work hard or, from a conspiracy theory perspective, to trick him – what else can be used to explain it? Is resignation the only way to atone for one’s own inability? When I’m mentally exhausted, I have no desire to create anything new; I just want to live a peaceful life for a couple of days, or take a long break altogether. But my heart still holds many dreams, those hopes that come with a lifetime of effort; and you don’t know about these dreams, nor have I ever told you.