Classmate, can I talk to you? I haven’t talked to a girl in a month now

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1. My cousin is 30 and still single. Once I asked him, “Cousin, there are so many beautiful girls at your workplace – why haven’t you found a girlfriend yet?” ” My cousin said coldly, “A rabbit doesn’t eat the grass by its own burrow!” ” I said, “At your age, are you still refusing to eat what’s right in front of you?” ” My cousin said dejectedly, “The beauty is the rabbit; I’m the grass.” . ” 2. I just ate somewhere in Ice Point City. A girl asked how many scoops were in a two-color ice cream. The salesperson replied, two. The girl then asked if one scoop would work, to which the response was yes, but the price remained the same. . . 3. Pro argument: Live for others. Opposing argument: Live for oneself. This is the background. The opposing side asks the defending side: Since your opponent lives for others, can you buy me a chicken leg? Pro: . . . Opponent: Then stop comparing; go and buy it now. Pro: ...... 4. Well, I used to receive a lot of text messages that were sent to the wrong person. One day, my roommate received a message that said, “Mom, when are you coming back?” ”It was obviously sent by mistake, so I didn’t reply. After a while, that number sent another text message: “Mom, what happened?” Why haven’t they come back yet? ”The roommate replied, “Something serious has happened; I’m not your mother.” . . ” 5. Last night, around 10 o’clock, a friend went to an ATM to withdraw money. Got out of the car; feeling full, suddenly wanted to learn how to break one’s legs. Then bounce in with the right foot, keeping the left foot raised. He hopped over to the ATM, withdrew money, took a stack of bills, put them in his wallet, then, still holding the wallet, lifted his right foot and hopped away. . (No words. . ) To his surprise, there was a kid at the door who quickly rushed over, snatched the wallet from his hand, and ran away! Friend: “Damn!” ”With a shout, they went up to chase after it. Those who practice sports are really awesome! With that burst of strength, it caught up in just a few steps and beat the opponent mercilessly. Later, it twisted at the community security office, and that kid cried. He said he was planning to rob a girl; seeing that my friend was lame, he went ahead and tried to rob her, only to run into someone who was pretending to be lame just because he had eaten too much. My friend shouted at him, \"Are you an idiot? Can’t you see that I use my right foot to step in and my left foot to step out?\\" 6. The male colleague said to his son, who was over 2 years old but still not very good at speaking: Come on, call your Uncle Cui! Son: Cui... you bastard... The male colleague’s face twisted in disgust: It’s not ‘Cui, you bastard’, it’s ‘Your Cui, you bastard!’ Shout quickly! Son: Cui... damn you, Cui... 7. Once, during class, a classmate was very hungry, so he soaked instant noodles. To prevent the teacher from noticing, I held the book upright and lowered my head, but steam still came out. The teacher said calmly, \"Which student is this, so absorbed in reading that they lose track of time?\" ” 8. Grandma was worried that the heat in summer would attract mosquitoes to the trash, so she put it in the fridge. 9. Just now I saw that guy carrying cash, armed with a gun, standing at the entrance of the bank; he looked so impressive that I couldn’t help but take another look. Then that guy suddenly asked me how old I was, which scared me so much that I ran away right away. It was only then that I realized why I was afraid. As I was running, I could faintly hear him say, “Damn.” . . 10. Took my family dog Maomao for a walk; it’s in heat. . . As soon as we arrived at the destination, a group of male dogs surrounded us; what an aggressive attitude. . . Mao Mao found a silver fox the most pleasing to look at, so she stayed with it, staying by its side affectionately. I saw him sniffing and sniffing, until finally. . . Make a decision! Lift your leg. . . It got all over Mau Mau’s body from urinating! ! ! Damn, after all this time in a relationship, have you been wondering whether to pee or not? ! I will always remember the sad look in my pet’s eyes. Last night I worked three extra hours; the payment for that was 18 yuan, and there wasn’t even a last bus, so I had to take a taxi home, which cost 20 yuan. 12. I’m in my senior year of college; I’ve been single for four years – it’s so lonely. I’ve recently fallen in love with message in a bottle, looking forward to wonderful encounters. Today, a bottle thrown by one of my QQ accounts was actually picked up by another of my accounts – that’s insane! Life has become unbearable; it’s truly damn lonely! 13. Just a note: tomorrow is our one-year anniversary as a couple. This morning, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying, “There’s no one at home. Will you come?” I rushed to her house right away; it wasn’t far – just one street away. As I walked, I wondered why I had suddenly come to this realization today Then I continued walking while chatting on YY... I arrived at her house after ten minutes... Sure enough, there was no one there. 14. Every time I ask my husband where he’s going Most of his responses were: I’ll go find my mistress! It seemed pretty humorous, and it turned out he wasn’t lying. 15. Yesterday, while a female classmate was eating in the cafeteria, a male student from the Mechanical and Electrical Engineering department came over and said, “Classmate, may I talk to you? I haven’t talked to a girl in a month now.” ” 16. My girlfriend went back to her hometown on the 10th to take care of some matters. She just texted me saying she’s getting married and asked me to stop waiting. 17. My brother pays off his mortgage; after doing so each month, he goes home and marks a check on the floor: This area is mine now… 18. Everyone knows that usually, freshmen undergo a fire drill. A friend of mine, who is involved in acting at school, and his roommate were chosen to play the role of people trapped in a fire……………That’s the background……………… When the drill started, school officials and counselors organized it downstairs, while my friend and his roommate waved socks upstairs and shouted, “Hey, come up and have some fun!” 19. During the final English exam, I told myself that I couldn’t sleep, I absolutely couldn’t fall asleep. Then, I woke up. 20. Yesterday, I was trying to withdraw money at an ATM; I entered the wrong password and the card got locked. I just couldn’t remember the password, which seemed strange. I went to the bank to report the issue and set a new password, and the clerk said that the new password couldn’t be the same as the original one. . 21. A man in a restaurant saw a girl who was extremely beautiful and wanted to flirt with her. He ran over and asked, “Beauty, a boyfriend fell here—is he yours?” ” The beautiful woman said softly, “I like your personality, sister.” But my sister doesn’t like your gender. ” 22. Just now my dad was watching TV, and my mom came in from outside. She glanced at the TV and said, \"Where is this?\" Such heavy flooding! Then my dad came over with a grim expression and said something. This is the ocean! 23. At that time, I had long hair that reached my shoulders, and I liked to tie it into a ponytail. One day, while eating at a restaurant, I felt unwell and went to the restroom. A drunk man pushed the door open, glanced at me, quickly turned away, and apologized, saying he had gone to the wrong place. Before I could explain anything, he left and headed to the other side; I clearly heard a scream from over there… And then… there was nothing else. . . 24. Today I told my parents that I wanted to bring my girlfriend home so they could meet her (that’s the background). – Wedding song – My girlfriend suddenly had to go on a business trip, and on her way back she met my cousin, so she went back to my house with her to have dinner. As soon as we entered the house, my grandfather threw a cup at her and shouted, “You wretch!” ……(My hand that was holding the cup still hurts…) 25. Last night I found out that my boyfriend is actually allergic to rubber. I… . . 26. While learning English words, I found that “itch” means “itchy,” and suddenly everything became clear to me; I understood the true meaning of “bitch.” 27. I was on a business trip yesterday; feeling bored at night, I sneaked with my roommate into the rooms of two male colleagues who were also on a business trip and sharing a room. Taking advantage of their absence, we went to the bathroom, opened the paid TT packages, and threw them in the trash. Early this morning, I went to the front desk to wait for them to settle the bill... 28. In short, when the bus stopped suddenly this morning, a handsome guy fell to the ground and started shouting loudly, holding a hook in his hand... 29. Someone in the group asked, “My girlfriend sent a message saying ‘wmzyqmyjgd’ – what does it mean?” Seeking help from experts! ” A: There’s no future for us being together. B: My mom only cares about money; if there’s none, I should get lost. C: If we were to work as prostitutes together, the prices would be low. And that’s how things became chaotic. . . 30. Once, when I was visiting my aunt’s house, it was time to go home in the evening, and her family insisted on seeing me off. I joked, \"I look safe enough~\" And then... my brother said, \"Safety can’t protect you from darkness.\" 31. Yesterday, on the street. Suddenly, I heard an uncle behind me shouting urgently, “That! Wait! That one! . . That one. . That guy who acted as a traitor! ! ” A large crowd stopped in their tracks. I hadn’t realized it yet; I saw a guy standing there, looking embarrassed, and saying slowly, word by word: “I work as a Japanese translator.” . ” 32. One day, while chatting with a group of stock investors, the conversation turned to personal savings. As everyone was expressing concerns that their savings would eventually be discovered by others, an uncle quietly said, \"I keep mine in the bank.\" People asked, “What about the passbook or card?” ” The uncle smiled innocently and said, “Burn it; go get your ID to replace it when you need it.” . 33. Some time ago, I had a disagreement with my uncle; later, I truly regretted it and bought some things as an apology. When I arrived at my uncle’s house, he opened the door, and I said, “Uncle, I was wrong.” Uncle: What uncle? I don’t have an uncle like you. Me:. . . . . . 34. Our school’s women’s basketball team defeated the visiting team 2-1. 35. What I saw on campus just now: The lifestyle I envy the most is the one shown on CCTV – rent for an apartment in Beijing is 77 yuan per month, salaries increase by 11.2% annually, the employment rate among college students is 99.13%, employees study the Eight Honors and Eight Shames day and night, and the average cost of a meal at college canteens is two to three yuan per meal. I have a dream: to live forever in the news broadcast.