Hilarious! 12 hilarious jokes about men and women that will make you laugh until you cramp!

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Hilarious! 12 hilarious jokes about men and women that will make you laugh until you cramp! Little Lis God highly recommends 1. Husband: “I plan to quit drinking.” ” Wife: “I’m tired of hearing this.” ” Husband: “Don’t believe it?” I dare bet you two bottles of Erguotou. ” 2.**: Do you still want to deny it now? So many witnesses said they saw you stealing melons in the field that night. Suspect: My lord, this is an injustice! They are talking nonsense. There was no moonlight that night at all; the field was completely dark. Those people have no way of seeing me. **: If that’s really the case, then they’re talking nonsense. 3. “Little Lis God, is fame important?” ”One day, a young woman asked. “Fame isn’t as important as you think. ”Little Lis God replied. “Why is that said? ”The woman asked in confusion. “No one knows who God is, but he still rules the world. ”Little Lis smiled divinely. 4. One day, someone asked an old man, “How do your son and daughter-in-law treat you?” ” The old man thought for a moment and said, “My three daughters-in-law and son are all very filial to me.” My eldest daughter-in-law, worried that I might be too lonely, often taps pots and pans to keep me company ； My second wife, worried that I might miss my daughter, often urges me to visit her ； My third daughter-in-law is even more considerate toward me; she often says to me, \"Eat one less bite for dinner, and you’ll live to 99.\" Now they’ve even skipped giving me breakfast. ” 5. Joking around at bars with fellow drinkers. Drink buddy: “You come to the bar to relax every day; it seems you’re single.” ” Me: “Not bad.” Drink companion: \"Are your own qualifications not good enough?" ” Me: “No!” I can mesmerize any woman. ” Drinker: “Really?” So, who are you…” I: “I’m a **teacher**. ” 6. A couple went to the movie with their three-year-old son. When they entered the cinema, the attendant said to them, “If the child cries, I will have to ask you to leave.” However, we can refund your tickets. ” Half an hour after the movie started, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of this movie?” ” Wife: “I’ve never seen such a bad movie!” ” Husband: “I think so too.” ” Then the sound of a child crying was heard. . . 7. In the church, as the priest was reading out the Ten Commandments one by one, he noticed that one of the believers suddenly covered his mouth with his hand and stared at the air filter on the ceiling. A few minutes later, he slapped his forehead, as if he had just realized something. **After it was over, the priest called him over specifically and asked, “Why did you make those strange expressions **while doing it? ” “Oh, when you say, ‘Thievery must never be committed,’ I suddenly remembered that my tie clip is missing. But it was when you said ‘You must not commit adultery’ that I remembered where I had left it. ”　 8. A customer went to a barbershop for a haircut. Customer: How much does it cost to get a haircut? Barber: 10 yuan. Customer: It’s so expensive! You see, I’m someone who’s about to go bald. The barber took a look and said, 3 yuan is for the haircut, and the additional 7 yuan is change for the hair. 9. There is a tank of goldfish in the manager’s office. A friend said to the manager, “These goldfish are so beautiful, but aren’t you worried that they might distract you?” ” The manager smiled and said, “That won’t happen. The only ones here who speak without asking me for money are them!” ” 10. There is a brother who is usually very bold, but he becomes shy around the girl he likes. Finally, under the pressure from our brothers, I confessed my feelings to that girl. He stammered for a long time, and the girl grew impatient and asked, \"What is it you actually want to say?\" Then, for some reason, this guy finally said, \"Please support me financially!\" 11. The man shouted, “Waiter, come here!” ” Server: “Hello, what can I do for you?” ” The man asked angrily, \"My beef noodles cost 20 yuan per bowl – why is there only one piece of beef in it?\" ” Server: “Sir, how many pieces would you like?” ” The man thought for a moment and said, “It should be at least five or six yuan worth of beef.” ” The waiter shouted to the kitchen, “Someone come out and help this customer cut this piece of beef.” 12. A traveler was chatting with an older Black man in the United States. The traveler asked, “Were you once a slave?” ”. The black man replied, “Yes, sir.” ”. The traveler asked, “Weren’t you already free after **?” ” He said gravely, “No, sir, I did not gain full freedom, because after the war—I got married.” ”