Ways to give gifts

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Giving gifts is an art. Giving gifts in the right way can yield excellent results: not only does the recipient accept them gladly and happily, but the giver themselves also feels happy. There are many factors to consider when choosing a gift that satisfies one’s wishes. Generally speaking, the first thing to consider is the age, identity, and status of the recipient ； Second, it is necessary to consider the situation of the giver themselves, as well as their relationship and feelings toward the recipient ； Third, consider the occasion and timing of the gift ； Fourthly, it depends on the giver’s own financial capacity – giving gifts that exceed what one can afford may make the recipient happy, but for the giver, the pleasure of making someone else happy through gifts might **decrease**. Generally, the interests, hobbies, and aspirations of the recipient should also be taken into consideration. For example, for those who are interested in antiques and paintings, you can give them a piece of artwork by a famous artist that they have long desired; this is far better than giving them expensive electrical appliances or nutritional supplements. This is what is meant by meeting someone’s interests. It is also important to pay attention to the details of choosing gifts, as well as selecting the best time and occasion to give them. If handled well, it can yield unexpected results. It should also be kept in mind that the quality of a gift cannot be measured in terms of money. Not all good gifts have to be expensive; with a bit of creativity, you can come up with gifts that are affordable yet capable of conveying emotions. The most troublesome thing about giving gifts is when the recipient refuses to accept them – whether outright, with polite declines, or by offering a return gift later on. All of these situations put the giver in an awkward position; it’s really unfortunate. So, how can we prevent this from happening in the first place? The key lies in whether the excuse is good or not, and whether the explanation for giving a gift sounds plausible; you should use your intelligence in this regard. There are usually the following ways to give gifts: 1. Using someone else as a medium to deliver the gift. If you give local specialties, you can say that they were brought by someone from your hometown; you give some of them to the other person to try, in small quantities, without spending any money on them, as you didn’t buy them specifically. Please ask him to accept it; generally, the recipient’s reluctance to accept a gift out of fear that you have ulterior motives will ease, and they will take your gift. 2. Secretly delivering the gift: If you are giving something like wine, you might as well pretend that someone else gave you two bottles of wine, so that you can drink together with the recipient. In this way, you give one bottle while receiving another; the gift is delivered, and your relationship improves, all without anyone noticing. Isn’t that great? 3. Using others as a means to deliver gifts: Sometimes you want to give a gift to someone who has no connection to you at all. In such cases, you might choose the recipient’s birthday or anniversary, and invite a few acquaintances to go with you to present the gift and offer congratulations. This way, it becomes difficult for the recipient to refuse it. When they later find out that it was your idea, their opinion of you will surely change. Utilizing the help of others to achieve the goal of giving gifts and fostering relationships is indeed a good strategy. 4. Giving a gift as a bribe: Mr. Zhang has something he wants Mr. Liu to take care of, and he wants to give a gift to facilitate things, but he is afraid that Mr. Liu will refuse, which would hurt his own face. Mr. Zhang’s wife was close friends with Mr. Liu’s girlfriend, so Mr. Zhang used his wife as a diplomatic tool, sending her to make the visit with gifts. This approach proved successful: both the gifts were delivered and the task was accomplished, achieving a win-win situation. It seems that sometimes indirect methods can be more effective than direct approaches. 5. First, say it’s a loan. If you’re giving something as a gift, you might say that the item is just lying around at my place anyway; let him use it for now and return it once he can afford to buy one ； If you give money, you can say that the recipient can spend some of it first and pay you back later; as long as you don’t press them to repay it, over time it will essentially be considered a gift. This also reduces the psychological burden on the recipient, and thus your purpose of giving the gift is achieved. 6. Taking the opportunity to do something helpful: A subordinate had received many favors from his boss and had always wanted to repay him, but never found the right opportunity. One day, he noticed that the painting framed in his boss’s rosewood frame seemed to be a rubbings, and it didn’t match well with the elegant decorations in the house. Coincidentally, his uncle was a fairly famous calligrapher nationwide, and he had some paintings of his own to offer. He immediately brought the painting over and placed it in the frame on his own. Instead of objecting, his supervisor really liked it, and thus the purpose of giving the gift was finally achieved. 7. Use the pretext of a discount: When giving a gift, you can tell the recipient that you purchased it at the factory price, wholesale price, or at a discounted rate, and then ask them to pay a symbolic amount. The effect is similar to giving a gift outright; by paying money, the recipient feels justified in receiving the item without any concerns. The Chinese are a people who place great emphasis on giving gifts. On occasions such as the Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, New Year’s Day, weddings, births, birthdays, housewarmings, business openings, graduations, and so on, it is customary for people to offer gifts as a way to express their congratulations. However, it’s not the case that relatives and friends immediately start preparing gifts when such good news occurs. Some people, even though they have reasons to celebrate, do not go overboard with extravagance; it would be inappropriate to give gifts rashly in such situations. One must act in accordance with local customs and traditions*. Usually, when you want to congratulate relatives and friends on a happy occasion, you also have to wait until they give you notice or send an invitation. The form and content of a gift can reflect the giver’s personality. Gifts are like a mirror through which one can see vanity and stinginess, frivolity and waste, wisdom and humor, vulgarity and selflessness. The main purpose of giving gifts is to bring joy to others. Many people think that giving gifts is a burden, and the reason for doing it is to prove that one is a polite person. Such people always rush to the store at the last minute and buy a gift casually. They wrapped the gift, shoved it into the recipient’s hands, said a few words of congratulations, and that was considered to be enough to wrap things up. As for where the recipient later put this uninteresting gift, they didn’t care at all. Because they fulfilled their duty—giving gifts. There are also gift-givers who hope their gifts will prove that they are very wealthy, allowing them to show off in front of others. There are also those who, when giving gifts, always consider whether the recipient will be able to return the favor; they are only willing to give gifts to those they think will be able to reciprocate. Think more about the other person. Here are some basic principles for giving gifts; generally speaking, as long as the giver tries to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and thinks more about them, they won’t make too many mistakes. Choose a gift that you yourself would also like to receive. If you give a gift that you yourself don’t like, how could anyone else like it? Do not give away again the gifts received last year this year, or simply discard them, as the person who gave them usually pays attention to whether you have used the gifts they offered. If you are relatively wealthy, it’s not appropriate to be too generous when giving gifts to ordinary friends, as this can sometimes lead to unnecessary embarrassment and have the opposite effect; it’s better to give thoughtfully chosen gifts instead. Remember to remove the price tag from the gift; if you leave the tag on, the gift will convey only two messages: one is “How much is our friendship worth?” and the other is “Just watch!” Next time, you have to give me a gift of the same price.” And this message can ruin all the sentiment behind the gifts! Furthermore, regardless of the value of the gift itself, it is best to wrap it. Sometimes paying attention to these subtle details better reflects the giver’s thoughtfulness. It is necessary to consider whether the recipient can make use of the gift you gave in their daily life. For example, can his home accommodate a painting of such large size? Some people, when visiting someone’s home, only remember the gift they should bring at the time of leaving. When they take out the gift at the door, the host refuses to accept it out of modesty and courtesy, resulting in an awkward situation. How can such a situation be avoided? The best time to give a gift is right after entering and exchanging a few words, at which point the gift can be presented; this way, the other person won’t be unable to accept it out of courtesy, preventing a deadlock at the door. If you miss the opportunity to give a gift at the entrance, you can do it after everyone has taken their seats and the host is pouring tea. This way, it won’t interrupt the ongoing conversation; on the contrary, it can even introduce another topic. What is a good gift to give? I believe many people have struggled with this problem. In fact, giving gifts is a complex art. If you want the gift to be appreciated by the recipient and to truly convey your feelings, so as to achieve the intended purpose of giving the gift, it requires you to have considerable life experience as well as excellent judgment and insight. Determining what kind of gift is appropriate for different types of people may require taking into account too many factors. However, there is also a very basic principle, which is that gifts should ideally meet the needs of the person who receives them. We can divide the recipients into three categories and analyze what kind of gifts would best reflect the value of the gift-giving: 1. The worry-free type: These people are wealthy, so gifts for them should have collectible value, such as works of art by famous artists or antique artifacts. Sometimes, we can also give them small items that may not be very valuable but are hard to find and are extremely delicate, such as some folk handicrafts. 2. The luxury-enhancing type: Such people have relatively good financial conditions, so gifts for them should be stylish and something that adds a touch of elegance to their lives, such as potted plants, wine, delicate crystal decorations, etc. These items are not only attractive for display but also useful in practical terms. 3. The kind of help that comes in handy during tough times: Such people do not have much in terms of material resources, so gifts for them should be practical items, such as a shirt, a set of nice lighting fixtures, or a box of expensive health supplements. All of this can be summed up in one sentence: when giving gifts, it’s not about the highest price, but about finding the most suitable one.