Who am I, and how do I become myself?

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　　Who am I? To this question, many people might answer that they are so-and-so, that their name is such-and-such; yet in fact, a name is merely a designation, a symbol – even if we don’t use that name, we remain who we are. Just like a rose, it will still emit a fascinating fragrance even if it isn’t called a rose. What we will always remember is that this scent comes from this plant, because its aroma is unique. Similarly, as for us individuals, each of us is a separate entity, yet we are also part of a social group. Therefore, whether it is our thoughts or our actions, there are aspects that are similar to those of others, as well as aspects that are different, that is, individuality and commonalities. But whether it's in individuality or commonalities, it reveals what sets us apart from others; in fact, everyone is unique. 　　Who am I? Where are you from? Where to go? Perhaps many people have never thought about these issues; we only know that we live in such a fast-paced era, busy with various tasks, and do not have time to consider them carefully. When we were kids, we used to ask our parents where we came from. They would joke with us, saying that we were found on the side of the road, or that we were given to us as a prize when our parents made a purchase. And we, being naive, would believe it. 　　When I was young, what confused me the most was: how did I come into this world? On the path of growing up, there was some confusion; it wasn’t until I started going to school and learning that I truly understood where I came from. But when I went to high school and left my hometown, the difficult and busy life made me lose myself. I began to wonder: Why am I me? What is the purpose of my existence? The fierce competition in the city and the stressful high school life are completely different from the simple life in the countryside. I began to wake up often in the middle of the night, missing those bygone days and feeling fearful about the future. I missed home, but it was rare for me to go back there. I wanted someone to talk to, yet I had no friends; on the other end of the phone, I could only hear my parents, brother, and sister’s voices. What’s even unbearable for me is that my grandmother, who had always cared for me and loved me since I was young, became seriously ill. My parents were afraid it would affect my studies, so they didn’t tell me. Eventually, my grandmother passed away, yet I wasn’t able to see her before she died; this has become one of the biggest regrets in my life. Later on, difficult life taught me that my purpose in existence is to work hard and study diligently, so that I and my loved ones can live a better life in the future. 　　Actually, who am I? Where do I come from? Where to go? Perhaps these questions can be answered with the classic words of Tang Seng from Journey to the West: I, the humble Tang Sanzang, come from the Great Tang in the East, on a mission to obtain sacred scriptures in the West. These seemingly simple words contain the value and mission of Tang Seng’s entire life. 　　Actually, who I am is not a simple question – who am I? It’s about how we view ourselves, how we evaluate ourselves, and how we understand ourselves. Only by viewing oneself correctly and establishing proper attitudes toward life, values, and the world can one discover the meaning of one’s existence. Everyone has a purpose in existence. To make one’s life meaningful requires putting that purpose into practice, which is a process of achieving one’s own goals. In life, some people lead fulfilling lives, while others are full of confusion ； Some people lead colorful lives, while others live in misery. This difference stems from a person’s self-awareness. Those who truly understand themselves, know what they really need, and are aware of the value and purpose of their existence, lead a fulfilling life; they work hard toward their goals and strive to be useful to others, to the people, and to society ； Those who have no goals, no ideals, and cannot understand themselves properly often end up doing nothing and living a meaningless life. 　　As a college student, actually before entering university, my dream was to get into a good university so that my parents could feel proud in the village. But once I got to university, I really had no idea what I wanted to do in the future, nor did I know what I could do with the skills I acquired in my major once I entered society. University wasn’t like I had imagined it to be, and I began to feel lost, uncertain, and afraid of the future; that’s how I wasted my first year of university in a daze. In my sophomore year, I noticed that many people around me had started to study seriously in order to obtain various certificates. It was then that I realized it was time for me to put in effort and figure out what I should do. So I began to study hard and attend classes, just like the other students, busy working toward getting those certificates. But I found that I wasn’t happy. Towards the end of my sophomore year, before the winter break, a speech given by a teacher awakened the dreams buried deep in my heart, and it was then that I suddenly realized what I truly needed. So I made an effort to force myself to do things I hadn’t had the courage to do before – whether it was taking on various part-time jobs, answering questions in class, gradually changing my previously introverted personality, or getting up early every day for morning reading; I was slowly making changes. During the holiday, I went for interviews and became a part-time teacher. It was working as a part-time teacher during that holiday that taught me a great deal; my students really liked me, and when I left they wrote me several letters that made me cry. It was also the time when I received the highest salary; I used half of it to buy supplements for my grandparents, and I bought some things for my parents, siblings – I felt very happy, and all those expenses were well worth it. It not only allowed me to exercise myself and gain a better understanding of this society, but it also helped me become aware of many of my own shortcomings, making me realize that I need to work harder. So now, even when I’m tired, I don’t feel unhappy, because I have a goal in mind, because I believe it’s worth it, and because I trust that effort will yield results. 　　It was through these experiences and practices that I began to understand the meaning of a person’s existence. I’m not very outstanding, but I keep striving, working hard to become a better version of myself in the future, and striving to repay those who love me deeply and have given so much for me. Because I don’t live alone, I also want to give back to those who have given something for me, as many people are also making silent contributions to this society. I have come to understand a person’s responsibilities, their mission, what kind of person they should be, and how to become a useful person. I remember someone once saying: Those who have never cried bitterly in the dead of night do not deserve to talk about life. Perhaps, life is about getting to know oneself and achieving one’s potential through continuous experiences of hardship.