Cultivating a child’s character lies in the details

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This post was last edited by cflt111 on 2016-1-11 at 18:49. Scenario 1: Comforting by shifting responsibility “Baby, don’t cry. Look how mom is punishing this naughty chair that caused our baby to fall.” ”During interviews, reporters often witness such a scene: a baby learning to walk unsteadily stumbles over a small chair at home, and the young mother rushes over quickly to pick up the child, comforting him with concern; while soothing him, she slaps the chair as a form of punishment, which makes the baby stop crying and start laughing. 　　Analysis: Young children think in a animistic manner; they believe that many things possess human-like thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They regard inanimate objects as living things – for example, they think that stones can speak and that animals live just like humans. Therefore, before a child turns one year old, comforting them with phrases like \"bad, naughty chair\" is in line with their animistic way of thinking. Over time, children develop an *inert way of thinking, and as they grow up, they tend to develop traits such as blaming others, a lack of willingness to take responsibility, and the habit of shirking duties. 　　Scene 2: Casual and simple criticism A teacher said that a little girl in her class always looked at what others were drawing first before starting to draw herself. When creating freely, she often stops painting halfway through. When the teacher asked her why, she would shyly ask the teacher first, \"Did I draw it wrong?\" Only after getting a positive answer would she dare to continue drawing. 　　It was only after the teacher visited the family that it became clear this was a habit developed by the little girl as a result of hearing her parents’ unintentional criticisms too often. For example, if a bowl is accidentally broken or a book is torn, parents’ exclamations and scolding follow. 　　Analysis: Many behaviors that are considered mischievous by parents are actually ways for children to explore the world. This form of exploration differs from that of adults, and when such differences are criticized or rejected by adults, the children’s innate tendency to explore is stifled. Therefore, for children under 6 years old, no matter how mischievous their behavior may seem to adults, they should be taught to explore the reasons behind it, rather than being dismissed easily. Otherwise, children can easily become as timid and lacking in confidence as this little girl learning to draw, confined by adult ways of thinking; they dare neither to explore nor to be different, which is very detrimental to developing their divergent thinking. 　　Scenario 3: Inconsistent educational concepts “With grandparents acting as a shield, children learn to read the room at a young age. ”Mr. and Mrs. Li, who live in the old town area, are strict with their 3-year-old child, while their grandparents, who live with them, dote very much on their grandson. On ordinary days, when I see my grandson make a mistake, I always rush to defend him and am unwilling to let him be criticized in the slightest. Whenever the couple starts to teach their child, the child cries for \"grandpa and grandma\" for protection. 　　Analysis: Inconsistent views on family education lead to the absence of unified principles within the family, leaving children with no rules to follow at home. On the other hand, children who are used to using the elderly as a shield learn very early on how to read people’s expressions, and when the situation becomes unfavorable, they seek out the conditions that are most advantageous for them. Over time, this will encourage children to develop bad habits such as being insincere, self-centered, and not acting in the interest of the public. 　　Scene 4: Fake sharing “Kids can be very domineering; whether at home or at school, they won’t let anyone touch their things.” Mom was confused; when teaching her children as a parent, she often told them to share their food with others. Whenever an adult gives an instruction, the child knows to share things with others. Although it’s mostly just teasing the child verbally, the things brought to their mouth are often given back to them. But given that they started training at such an early age, the child shouldn’t have developed such an aggressive and selfish personality; the mother is very puzzled by this. 　　Analysis: Sharing is an excellent quality in being human, but teaching children to understand the value of sharing cannot be limited to mere superficial actions. When a child is willing to give something to you, as a parent, one should accept it, so that the child can understand what true sharing means and experience the joy of sharing. If adults are dishonest, children will also learn to be dishonest from them. Therefore, when teaching children to share, one should not stop at the surface level; instead, it is necessary to help them understand what sharing means and what can be shared.