To my integrity, which will one day pass away

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To my integrity, which will one day vanish: Every year at this time, I feel inexplicably irritable. When the weather gets hot, it’s that time again… One must know when to stop; there are things that can’t be said out loud. Scholars, after all, always like to write things that are nothing but pretentious complaints. Although I can’t really be considered a true scholar, I still enjoy putting on an air of sophistication and writing things that I think qualify as refined works. Of course, this one definitely doesn’t count. Enough rambling; back to the topic. I used to think that once I got to college, things would be easy for me; I wouldn’t have to hide or act secretly anymore. Damn it, once I got to university – no, it was actually during my first year that university really took hold of me – it was then that I realized this university wasn’t as perfect as I had imagined. First, there’s the gender ratio; since we’re talking about machinery, it’s impossible not to comment on it. Yes, the path is one’s own choice; I know there are few girls in mechanical fields, but it can’t be that few. You say that every day you have to argue and complain with a bunch of guys, play cards, chess, and games like Three Kingdoms; some are 180 cm tall but act cute, while others who are 165 cm tall try to act mature. There are hardly any females around, and on top of that there’s an insane amount of homework – how is it possible to get through such a life? Even if I managed to hold on and avoid becoming gay until I got out, I still have no experience in dating girls! Pfft, still chasing her? He doesn’t even have any experience in recognizing girls. By the way, I’m not in heat; I’m just stating a fact. I thought that after entering university I would study hard – aiming to be a top student, exploring poetry and literature as well, and writing something along the way, so as to have some achievements by the time I graduated. It was only later that I realized: if no one is in charge and there’s no goal, then why the hell would anyone keep studying day and night like high school students? Homework means listening in class whether you want to or not, and then going over it and doing the assignments after class, with the goal of not failing. As for those poems and verses, I did read some of them, but they have nothing to do with research; I haven’t improved much compared to high school. On the other hand, writing lyrics in an ancient style is much more challenging now than before. Well, I wrote something, but it’s not much; there’s a ton of writing involved in drafting press releases! Speaking of this press release, I really don’t know whether to cry or laugh; I volunteered to join the student council out of my own enthusiasm. Speaking of joining the student council, the process was such that there was nothing impossible – only things that hadn’t been done yet. All those things I had never dared to do before, I ended up doing them all. To this day, I still have a deep aversion to that interview room with its dark atmosphere. As soon as I entered, a dozen seniors started smiling at me in a malicious way, subjecting my young mind to all kinds of psychological torture. They even said my voice sounded like it was meant for broadcasting, and insisted that I imitate Zeng Xiaoxian’s way of speaking. If I hadn’t mustered the courage to bargain with them and kept asking for a reduction in the difficulty, maybe by now I would have become shameless and invulnerable (which actually isn’t such a bad thing). From this moment on, my integrity began to decline, and it got worse from there on out. Later, while I was sleeping, the minister told me to go to the communication team. How could I remember what had happened while I was asleep? I don’t even know how I agreed to it. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing either; for example, I’m much better at writing press releases now than before, and I’ve met many people as well. Under Sister Leilei’s wise leadership, almost none of her team members are afraid of her; those like me even tease her from time to time. Of course, there are those who are even more heartless than me, but I simply can’t bring myself to trouble a kind girl out of habit. Of course, when it comes to those who seem less kind, I’m not polite at all. Hehe, I’ve almost lost all sense of decency; what’s there to fear from being a bit harsh in my words? It’s just that I’m not very strong; when I can’t outtalk the girls on the other side, I just end up fighting. How could a gentleman like me resort to violence against such rude people? What, press my head on the keyboard? Hehe cvhfsugvhesiuahfyew7auhfUvsduvgwriuahgiuwhuyrayfi. And then, when I attended the first meeting of the student council, all the self-control I had managed to build up over half a month was almost completely exhausted in just that one meeting. In The Legend of the White Snake, Xu Xian seems malnourished; Xiao Qing is actually a python spirit that hasn’t evolved properly and thus has a bulky body. Bai Niang is just like those from Africa. In the end, Xiao Qing abducts Bai Niang. How over-the-top must the performances by those three men be in order to make this already ridiculous plot even more absurd? Give me back my dignity! Give me my dignity back! ! Only after participating in more activities did I realize that losing a little integrity is no big deal; this young master is born with plenty of integrity, and I can regain it if it’s lost. But no matter how fast it charges, it can’t keep up with such high levels of consumption. I can accept losing a little money when participating in events and showing up in public, but those idiot roommates back in the dormitory are absolutely ruthless! Uh, I admit that we’re pushing each other downward, and things are getting worse and worse. But I feel unfair – those rich kids next door, those top students across from us, and those who are on the other side have all started selling goods to earn their first fortunes, while we’re just a bunch of fools. Good heavens! Where is the justice in this? There wasn’t a single classmate from my hometown at first, but in the next semester someone from Jinan transferred in; although it’s not that close, they’re still from the same hometown. But when you said that in the materials and textiles field, which is both a strong area for the school and where girls can live comfortably without having to go to places like machinery engineering, I really wondered if this kid’s head had been kicked by a donkey or something. Later, I also thought what he said made sense – the future for machinery was brighter. But! I never would have thought it – this person is also a funny guy. He’s the closest to our dormitory members, and he often comes to our side to make jokes; he and our dormitory’s best talker constantly engage in hilarious banter with each other. And these two are actually fucking top students! ! My fragile heart. Life in university, though quite different from what I had imagined, still satisfies me; after all, I am a kind person who knows how to be content with what one has. Finally, on behalf of my passion and knowledge, and in honor of my integrity that will one day fade away, I pay my respects! !