It’s that time of year again for the class reunion

Thread Content

The annual show-off festival is held with great pomp. A bunch of pretentious scoundrels with fake airs and ugly faces show up to put on a comedy of life together. The plot is more or less the same: encouraged by classmates who were doing well and had returned from Beijing, Shanghai, or abroad, the class leader took charge of organizing things, with several of those who used to be troublemakers in the class providing active assistance. The hardworking class leader called one by one, convincing male and female students to get together. Some people are so excited to see their old sweetheart that they can’t sleep all night ； Some people feel nervous at the thought of meeting their first love ； Some who are doing well are in a hurry ； Some are in a terrible situation, as if they’ve lost their parents… In any case, everyone has their own ulterior motives. In the hotel’s private rooms, those who arrive first are usually the group leaders and some classmates who weren’t very successful back then. They exchange pleasantries in the room; although these people try to act tough, they’re still just ordinary people and can’t pull off any real fancy acts. The guys mostly talk about cars, stocks, the housing market, and politics ； The girl recently got some beauty and nail treatments, and her husband bought LV and Chanel products… It’s annoying, but it doesn’t harm anyone. Those who are late are always experienced show-offs; as soon as they enter the room, they wear a smile on their face. While on the phone, they hang up their mink coat, take a seat, and casually toss their iPhone 6 and car keys onto the table, appearing to be very carefree and relaxed. At first, most of those who like to show off could limit themselves to casual conversation and talking about their school days. But after a few rounds of drinks and several dishes, those who like to show off start to do so. A has just returned from the United States, with a strong Tennessee farmer’s accent: “Huh?” You have no idea how much I want to go back to my home country over there. American pancake sandwiches don’t have sesame seeds on them either, and I simply can’t get used to that. But once I return to my home country, the air quality is extremely poor – it’s nowhere near as good as it is in the United States. It really worries me. What do you think? Should I go back to my home country to pursue my career there? ”After saying that, he fumbled for a match and lit a cigarette with a white filter whose brand he couldn’t remember. In fact, he didn’t obtain any degree in the United States; he spent three years feeding chickens for local farmers there. B, who is involved in securities investment, said dismissively, \"The market conditions were poor last year; I invested over 5 million in the stock market and lost money. Fortunately, I was able to make some back gains by investing in stock indexes at the end of the year. Next year, I’ll still need to focus on futures... Well, do you know anything about commodities?\" Let me tell you…” There was a bunch of beeping sounds; actually, he was just a contract worker from a securities company who kept calling people constantly to persuade them to open accounts with him. That guy from the entertainment industry acts like he’s in extreme distress, unable to relieve himself, and pretends to be profound: \"Hmm, have you watched ‘White Deer Plain’?\" Our company funded the production; on set, I talked with Wang Anquan and Zhang Qiyu…” Someone interjected, “Did you meet them in person?” ”C: “Well, we’re pretty familiar; Wang Anquan is very approachable, and it was great talking to him!” ”Amidst the envious looks of everyone around, C perfectly acted like a real jerk. The truth is, he happened to be passing by the filming location; he tried to squeeze into the crowd to take a look at our Texas beauty Zhang Yuqi, but was pushed out by the crowd, and then he just walked away. D started his own business; he had a large tumor on his head, a short haircut, was fat all over, and his mouth was full of greasy sausages – he constantly said, \"I have hundreds of people working for me who need to be fed every day; it’s hard to take care of them all. It really worries me. You know, it’s not easy to make money.\" I planned to list on the A-share market next year, but it seems that plan will fall through again. ”Everyone who heard it couldn’t help but exclaim, “Beautiful, so beautiful!” What he didn’t realize was that this B had joined a Jindeli fast-food restaurant, hired three homeless people to buy ingredients, steam baozi, and serve the food, while he himself acted as both the boss and the person who stirred the woks and cut the vegetables. E is an uncontracted reporter for a street-based literary magazine; she writes about astrological insights and stories about human nature. It is said that she has traveled to many cities, and now she can hardly speak in normal language – all she says is things like, “Lijiang is like a young girl in her teens, shy and delicate, possessing simplicity, grace, and beauty; she emerges from the embrace of her mother, Mount Yulong, step by step, touching your heart that has been sealed away for so long…” I must be too civilized; otherwise I would definitely smash that idiot with a bottle. When F was in school, he was a typical troublemaker; within a week of starting school, he found a senior classmate who was his sweetheart. After several years of experiencing life’s challenges, I have grown into a seasoned old rake; I’ve been divorced three times. When it comes to vulgar jokes, they’re not shy at all. Seeing which male classmate from back then had become successful, they would immediately put on an admiring expression and listen to his glowing stories with great interest, occasionally saying things like, “That’s amazing… I really admire you… I’m so envious of you~” How regretful, right? How can he give you some money for blowing beauty? You say you’re looking around for a guy to drink with, and keep implying, “I’m still single; it’s better to find a husband among old classmates, as we know each other well.” ”What's wrong? If you’re having so much fun, who on earth with low intelligence would want to take you as a concubine? We’re all old classmates; stop bullying them. You can figure out which of the various types of idiots this refers to on your own; someone who has served as a soldier for three years will come back and analyze the situation regarding the Diaoyu Islands for you ； The **gatekeeper will explain the policy to you** ； The person who sells fake medicines teaches you how to maintain good health ； Someone in the IT industry is telling you how to raise venture capital for an IPO… In short, just exaggerate anything that’s related to it – the police won’t arrest you. The show-offs praise each other’s flaws, while the newcomers are filled with envy. As long as the emotional connection is strong, maybe after the event we can go to a budget hotel to relive the friendships from those school days. One after another, those show-offs got completely drunk, and they still rushed to pay the bill. When you wouldn’t let them pay, they shouted, “Are you looking down on me?” Our friendship over all these years – why can’t I get married? No one dare fight with me! ”After saying that, he lay down on the table and fell asleep. The other showoff who was trying to rush through the checkout, seeing that things were not going well for him, quickly reached into his pocket, saying as he did so, \"Damn it, where’s my wallet?\" I clearly brought it when I went out, right? . . . ”I said, “What the hell are you pulling out?” You’re carrying a safe in your pocket. It took half an hour, but I finally got it out! Should I rent an excavator from Lanxiang Institute of Technology? ! ” What should have been a nice get-together where everyone could chat and talk heart to heart has been turned by you guys, these showoffs, into something like a farmers’ market, a pyramid scheme recruitment event, beauty treatments and plastic surgery promotions, discussions on global macroeconomics, **and a lecture hall. With its mouth wide open, it blows hard at anyone it catches. Can you guys calm down for a while? Why do you have to torment your classmates with whom you’ve studied together for years? Are you even human?