A short story

Another quack doctor opened a hospital and called himself the \"director\". One day, the dean’s electric bike broke down, so he took it to a large repair shop for repairs. 　　Repair shop receptionist: “OK, the startup fee is 50 yuan.” Hospital director: “Why do I have to pay first even before the repair is done?” 　　Repair shop receptionist: “That’s our policy at the repair shop – don’t hospitals require you to pay the registration fee before even seeing a doctor?” 　　The hospital director had nothing to say and had no choice but to pay 50 yuan. 　　The receptionist at the repair shop asked, “Hello, what’s the problem with your electric bike?” ” 　　Hospital director: “There’s no response at all; turning the handle doesn’t make it move.” ” Receptionist: “It seems there’s an issue inside your electric vehicle; you’ll need to see a mechanic. May I ask whether you’d like to see a regular mechanic or a senior mechanic? There is an extra charge of 20 yuan for a regular mechanic, and 30 yuan for a senior mechanic.” ” 　　Hospital director: “Isn’t it just fixing electric bikes?” Just fix it; I don’t care if he’s an engineer or a senior engineer.” 　　Receptionist: “It’s different. Senior engineers have high skills and can fix any complex computer problems; the rate of failures after repairs is also significantly lower for them. However, their repair costs are a bit higher, so it’s up to you, the customer, to make the choice.” 　　Hospital director: “My electric vehicle shouldn’t be considered a complicated case; an ordinary engineer should be enough to handle it.” 　　Repair shop receptionist: “Alright, please pay 20 yuan as a repair fee first.” 　　Hospital director: “Why do we have to pay first before it’s even repaired?” Repair shop receptionist: “That’s our policy at the repair shop. Don’t hospitals require payment before providing treatment?” 　　The hospital director had nothing to say, so he paid another 20 yuan, pushed the electric bike into the repair shop, and went to the engineer’s workshop. The engineer inquired about the computer’s condition and first issued three payment orders for the hospital director to settle: 1. Multimeter testing fee: 20 yuan ； 　　II. Controller inspection fee: 50 yuan ； 　　III. The cost for motor testing is 80 yuan. 　　The hospital director asked in surprise, “Why should the customers pay for this testing? Isn’t it meant to facilitate your repair engineers?” ” 　　Engineer: “That’s right. Our engineers used to rely on methods such as observation, inspection, questioning, palpation, and listening, as well as their experience, to carry out repairs. But now that science has advanced and we have various instruments at our disposal, testing can be done more accurately, and it’s also possible to detect faults that are not yet apparent.” Moreover, we need to spend a large amount of money on purchasing these instruments, so we have to charge reasonable fees. Yours is fine; no additional instruments were needed. Last time, a client gave us an electrical appliance, and we used a network analyzer to test the antenna impedance; the testing cost was 150 yuan, and they had it tested as well. We will do our best to consider the customer’s interests, minimize the number of tests, and help the customer save money. Of course, you can choose not to conduct testing, but when we carry out repairs, we might make a mistake and replace good parts, resulting in unnecessary costs for the customer. It’s also possible that they won’t be able to fix your electric bike, ending up wasting your time. ” 　　The hospital director had no choice but to pay 150 yuan as a testing fee first. After half an hour of testing, the engineer used a printer to generate a circuit diagram and found that a fuse had blown. He spent a few minutes replacing it with a two-yuan fuse, thereby fixing the electric vehicle. 　　After handing the printed circuit diagram to the hospital director, the engineer issued a receipt asking the director to pay 8 yuan for the printing fee. The dean asked in confusion, “Do I have to pay for the printing costs too?” ”“Yes, it’s the store’s policy – the printing cost is borne by the customer. Wasn’t that image given to you? ”“But I don’t understand; what’s the use of this picture? ”“Your hospital performs ultrasounds on patients, but the printed images are incomprehensible to them as well – doesn’t that still mean it’s the patients who have to pay? The hospital director was speechless and had no choice but to go and pay. 　　Finally, the engineer said to the manager, \"Our store uses computer management; please go to the pickup counter to collect your order.\" 　　The pickup counter prepared a repair list for the hospital director to pay for; the payment slip stated: \"In accordance with the regulations set by the Price Bureau, our store charges separately for each item, ensuring that customers are fully aware of the costs involved.\" The charges for this repair are as follows: Cost of using the 35W white light soldering iron (1 time for desoldering and 1 time for soldering): 10 yuan ； 　　Disposable soldering iron tip cleaning cloth: 2 yuan ； 　　Fee for using the suction gun: 5 yuan per use ； 　　φ0.8 eco-friendly tin wire 10g: 5 yuan ； 　　1x 2N1234 fuse: 2 yuan ； 　　Fee for using diagonal pliers to cut fuse tube pins: 5 yuan ； Cost for cleaning the pads with cleaning solution after welding: 5 yuan ； 　　Labor costs for removing and re-welding fuses, cleaning pads, etc.: 20 yuan ； 　　Total: 54 yuan”. 　　The hospital director almost fainted when he saw it. The hospital director spent 282 yuan on repairing an electric bike, with only a part worth 2 yuan being replaced.

I am the current emperor. I order you to capture those responsible for those small advertisements at once; once this matter is resolved, I will remove you from your position as general of the imperial guards.

Your Majesty, the man who posts those advertisements has very powerful backers; I fear I will be unable to carry out this task successfully. Therefore, I earnestly request to be allowed to retire from my duties.

I am shocked to hear of this. As high-ranking officials in the court, you fail to fulfill your duties and responsibilities. At a time when the court needs you to play a vital role, you shirk your obligations, coming up with various excuses and avoiding taking responsibility. You do nothing but try to avoid conflict; there’s no need for excuses about retiring to the countryside. Bring them here – beat them with 250 strokes of the rod.

We people from Haichuan are that straightforward even when telling jokes.

Bro, this can easily go awry; it’s causing you to sink