Anecdotes about Making Friends (5)
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Moving further and further apart — as time passes, the friendship fades: no arguments or conflicts, no grudges or resentments. It’s just that we have different circles of friends and different life paths; gradually we drift apart, each taking our own path, without regretting having met.
A gentleman repays kindness—never forgets favors received: One should always be grateful for even the slightest help given. Knowing how to remember kindness and repay goodwill, being neither indifferent nor selfish, and never being ungrateful—these are the fundamental virtues in making friends.
Those who betray those who have helped them – they turn against those who offer assistance: instead of being grateful for the kind support and effort put in by others, they become scheming and repay kindness with hostility. One should never forge a close relationship with such despicable people.
A drop of kindness – small acts of goodwill should be remembered for a lifetime: one should keep in mind the minor help and acts of kindness given by others. One must know how to be grateful and have boundaries in friendships in order to earn genuine regard.
Repaying kindness with generosity – showing deep gratitude and giving back doubly: When a close friend offers wholehearted assistance in difficult times, one should cherish such great kindness and repay it in kind. I will not fail the deep affection, nor the trust placed in me.
Be lenient toward others – tolerate flaws and forgive mistakes: no one is perfect, and the same goes for friends. Be generous and tolerant toward others, accept their minor flaws, forgive unintentional mistakes, and not dwell on the past.
Be strict with oneself – improve one’s own conduct and treat others kindly: strictly regulate one’s words and actions, and be tolerant and understanding toward family and friends around. With good moral character, one naturally attracts honest friends and receives help from those of noble character.
Maintain appropriate boundaries—be intimate yet respectful of personal space; keep a proper distance, no matter how close the relationship is. Friendship can remain fresh over time only if there is no excessive intimacy or reliance, and if one knows when to push forward and when to step back.
Speak with moderation—know your limits in speech so as not to damage your relationships: Be careful and prudent in what you say when interacting with others. Do not casually talk about others’ faults; avoid speaking carelessly and without restraint. Speaking properly is the key to maintaining good relationships with others.
Misfortunes arise from what we say – talking too much can lead to trouble; it’s best to be cautious. Excessive gossiping, a tendency to spread rumors, and casual criticism are the things that most easily cause problems and damage relationships. In making friends, it's important to speak less and act more, to keep one's words and heart under control.
Choose friends as you would choose teachers – good friends serve as guides who bring benefits throughout one’s life. Good friends are like wise mentors who show you the right path, help you cultivate virtue, keep you away from mistakes, and encourage you to move forward positively, providing great benefits for life.