5 reasons why the elderly should not help their children take care of kids – everyone should read this!

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This post was last edited by Catalyzing a Grain on 2015-12-11 at 10:46. Every middle-aged or elderly person, and in fact every Chinese person, faces a difficult question: should they raise grandchildren for their children? 　　Take it; there are too many bumps and hurdles in life ； Don’t bring them; the children will be unhappy, thinking that the elders are unwilling to help. Some children even stop communicating with their parents as a result, becoming like strangers to one another. 　　What exactly should be done? The answer is simple: if you don’t want to bring it, then don’t bring it. As for the reasons, the following 5 points are sufficient. Additionally, it is recommended that friends who want to take their grandchildren along also take a look; it will be helpful. 　　1. Taking care of grandchildren is not an obligation for the elderly. 　　Educating children is the responsibility of parents, not the duty of grandparents. It is out of kindness for the elderly to help their children take care of their grandchildren; it is their duty to do so anyway. 　　From a legal perspective, parents are the legal guardians of their minor children, and it is their legal obligation to provide for their upbringing and education. Grandparents have no obligation to support their grandchildren. So the elderly person has the right to decide whether to take their grandson. 　　2. The elderly don’t have enough energy to take care of their grandchildren. 　　As people get older, their physical strength and energy are not what they were in their youth. Taking care of grandchildren is quite demanding; without full energy, it’s impossible to take proper care of the elderly. 　　Moreover, at this time, the elderly should pay more attention to their physical health. Being in good health means not causing trouble for one’s children. 　　3. The responsibility of taking care of grandchildren is great, and the elderly cannot bear it. 　　The responsibilities related to taking care of grandchildren mainly fall into two aspects: one is the personal safety of the grandchildren ； The other is the issue of educating grandchildren. 　　It’s hard to ensure the safety of grandchildren. Nowadays, grandchildren are treated as treasures; their food, clothing, and playtime all require careful attention, with no room for carelessness. Otherwise, if they get injured or fall ill, either the son will start complaining or the daughter-in-law will nag, which is very hurtful to feelings. 　　What’s even more frightening is that if there is the slightest carelessness and the grandchild gets lost or suffers a serious accident, the elderly person will have to spend the rest of their life under the blame of their children and filled with guilt. 　　For example, an older sister named A Zhen was taking her granddaughter out, and due to carelessness, the granddaughter fell straight down from upstairs. Fortunately, after the surgery, her granddaughter survived without any lasting complications, but Ah Zhen’s situation turned out to be very sad thereafter. Her husband complained about her, her daughter and son-in-law stopped treating her with kindness, and Ah Zhen suffered a mental breakdown... It’s impossible to guarantee the quality of education for her grandchildren. Education is by no means a trivial matter. The elderly’s views on education may not keep up with today’s times; therefore, they should never be overly persistent, as this could affect the happiness of their grandchildren for life. 　　4. The elderly should have their own lives. 　　Elders do not have to serve their children for the rest of their lives; they shouldn’t really go to extreme lengths for them until their death. After a lifetime of hard work, it’s time for the elderly to enjoy their own time. 　　If conditions permit, one can go on trips and travel around to see the beautiful sights of this world. If one’s circumstances are average, it’s possible to choose one or two hobbies to develop further, and then make more friends with similar interests to enjoy activities together – which is also a form of enjoyment in life. 　　5. It has many advantages for children to take care of their own kids. 　　Many friends may worry that not letting their children take care of their grandchildren might be too heartless, and that they could face gossip from their children and neighbors 　　Regarding this, the elderly can communicate directly with their children, helping them understand that by taking care of the children they can better appreciate the difficulties their parents faced and have the opportunity to grow again. If you feel guilty, you can find another way; for example, if your financial situation permits, you can pay for a nanny to take care of the children. 　　The elderly should understand that at every crucial moment in life, they should let their children take on the responsibilities toward the family on their own, so that they can experience the joys and challenges of raising children, and thus become truly mature individuals who understand and respect their parents, and who are able to pave a broader path to success. 　　The idea that one should help their children raise grandchildren in old age is an outdated concept. Times have changed in the modern era, and the attitudes of middle-aged and elderly people can also be changed. Let go when it’s time to let go; if it’s something the children should do on their own, don’t overstep your bounds and take over for them. 　　Share it with your friends around you; whether they are middle-aged or elderly people with grandchildren or not, and whether they are young people who have children or not, everyone should read this article.