First post of the new year – let’s enjoy some happiness.

Thread Content

Working on a draft in the study in the middle of the night. My wife is here again. Given the previous late-night conversations in which my intelligence was repeatedly outmatched, I got straight to the point: \"As husband and wife, over the years I’ve contributed both efforts and sacrifices; if you have anything to say, just tell it directly.\" ” My wife smiled and said, “Can’t I massage your shoulders if there’s no problem?” ” She started massaging my shoulders. “Compared to the girls at the spa, whose skills are better—mine or theirs? ” (This pit is too simple; will I jump in?) ”) “I don’t know; I’ve never pressed the shoulder button.” ” “If not on the shoulders, then where? ” “I mean, I’ve never been to places like that. ” “Then why does it say something like a leisure club on your lighter? ” She quickly grabbed the lighter on the table and held it in her hand as she asked me. I was caught off guard by this question. I guess she had already seen the lighter, but instead of asking directly, she started the conversation by touching my shoulder. Boil the frog in warm water; observe its reactions. Women, terrifying. “The lighter must belong to Li Jianjun; I took it from him while having dinner with him last time. I didn’t expect him to be the kind of person who frequents clubs like that. ” I’m also an old hand at this; whenever there’s a problem that can’t be explained, I shift the blame onto Li Jianjun. Wife: “You and Li Jianjun are friends too, right?” ” “Of course. ” “Does Li Jianjun know that you’re treating him this badly? ”The wife stretched out her right hand and showed a lighter, saying, “It’s just an ordinary lighter; there’s nothing written on it about some leisure club.” How did it end up in Li Jianjun’s hands from the club? ” It turned out they were tricking me. She didn’t even see that lighter. “Um… I couldn’t react right away. “You’ve improved; you lie without batting an eye. ” “I just casually mentioned one possibility. ” “Then you can’t take advantage of Li Jianjun either. Does he really go to that club often? I told him to go with his wife. ” “No, I’m joking. He never goes there. ” “That’s good. If you have friends who go to such places, it’s advised not to associate with them. ” I breathed a sigh of relief: “Of course.” I told you, how could we have a lighter like this in our house? “ “Is that so? So, where did this lighter come from? ” She extended her left hand and showed a lighter with the words XX Leisure Club clearly written on it. ” I was completely confused. I first used my friend as a shield, then realized it was just a false alarm, and afterward cleared my friend’s name. When I thought the crisis was over, I didn’t realize it had just begun. This hand hasn’t even started yet, and I’ve already thrown away my ace of spades. Some pits get deeper the more you fill them. Then I can only leave it blank. There’s one last trick left: refuse to admit it at all. “I don’t know. ” “Don’t know? ”My wife’s words carried a murderous tone. “Do you really think I would go to a place like that? I find it expensive to spend 35 yuan sitting in a coffee shop for an hour, so how could I bear to spend thousands of yuan on something that only takes 5 minutes? ” I make fun of myself. “That’s too much; even when praising yourself, there should be a limit. Do you really have 5 minutes? ”She landed the final blow. I light a cigarette. Silence. “You have no right to remain silent. ” At that moment, the phone rang; it was Li Jianjun. “External playback. “My wife said. The call was connected, and Li Jianjun said over the phone, \"I’ve lost a lighter; it has the logo of XX Leisure Club on it. Do you have it?\" ” Me: “Yes, yes, yes.” It’s with me! ” Li Jianjun: “That’s great. I thought it was lost at my home; if my wife found it, it would be bad.” ” I looked at my wife with pride; my gaze said, \"See? This lighter really is Li Jianjun’s!\" Li Jianjun added, “Let’s go again next time, and definitely don’t use the lighters from the store.” ” Click, the phone was hung up. I know; I’m about to die too.