How to view having one’s partner check their phone

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This post was last edited by cflt111 on 2016-4-4 09:45. A friend asked me: What should I do if my girlfriend keeps checking her phone? After forcing me to give them my password, they now check my phone every day – it’s terrifying. I really haven’t done anything wrong, but having my phone inspected all the time makes me feel like I’m not trusted at all, and there’s no sense of mutual respect either. I laughed and told them that in the Bible, Adam and Eve were originally naked and ran around freely; later, under the temptation of the serpent, they ate the forbidden fruit, which gave them wisdom but also the concept of shame, so they used fig leaves to cover their bodies. God was furious and punished men by forcing them to toil throughout their lives, while women had to endure the pains of childbirth. Snakes were the most unfortunate, as they were forced to crawl on the ground forever, despised by everyone. Which comes first, eggs or chickens, is a question with no answer; but as for which comes first, privacy or the desire to spy, that is clear. Even before humans conceived the concept of privacy, God possessed a strong desire to spy and considered it his privilege, using his divine power to safeguard this desire and punishing harshly anyone who tried to exploit such a privilege. In human society, a new conflict has arisen between the right to privacy and the desire to spy on others. Parents tell their children, \"Never lock your drawers,\" while teachers say to students, \"Give me your diary.\" The underage children endure humiliation and struggle, secretly recording and passing on information like spies, thinking that one day they will be able to escape from their grasp. However, when they combed their hair to look like adults and put on stylish suits, thinking they could conquer the world, their girlfriend suddenly said with a gentle smile, acting nonchalant: “Let me take a look at your phone.” ”At that moment, they finally remembered the terror of once being controlled by others, as well as the humiliation of being imprisoned in a birdcage. “Why? (You’re violating my privacy rights.) “Just take a look.” (You have no right to privacy.) “What’s there to see?” (Laozi is honest and straightforward.) “If there’s nothing interesting, let me take a look then.” (If you’re honest, show it to me then.) “Stop making a fuss.” ”(I advise you to think things through before acting; don’t say I didn’t warn you.) “Who caused the trouble?” You don’t even dare to show me your phone”? (I might as well–even if I have to break up with you–check what shady things are on your phone.) Arguments over this topic have one characteristic: even if they subside for a while, they always resurface eventually. After going through this cycle several times, both parties start to look up at the stars and consider their future; one thinks, \"Do I have to live in such a climate of terror my whole life?\", while the other thinks, \"Can this really be called love when I’m not even allowed to check my phone?\" The above is an example of a common mistake. So, what should we do when the other person suggests checking the phone? From a strategic perspective, it is necessary to constantly instill in people the idea that switching phones is an evil act. In this world, many things are considered normal by some people, yet seen as abhorrent by others. Eliminate potential conflicts at the earliest stage, prevent problems before they arise, and reach a gentleman’s agreement regarding how to get along – one that involves being very close to each other without checking each other’s phones. Even so, we must remain aware that the desire to spy lurks in everyone’s heart; no matter how aloof or indifferent someone may seem at first, one day they will inevitably reach out in a trivial manner and say, “Let me take a look at your phone.” At this time, the worst things to do are to be overly defensive and to delay actions; this will only arouse suspicion in the other party, and even if you think you are acting honestly, you may still be accused of unfounded offenses. Everything is accomplished with preparation; without it, nothing will succeed. Therefore, we must make thorough preparations before any confrontation to avoid being caught off guard by sudden attacks. First, on a sunny and carefree day, voluntarily hand over your phone to the other person to play with, and take the opportunity to observe and figure out their habits and ways of using the phone. Determine whether they are a novice who only checks chat records or an expert who doesn’t even skip the system’s source folders. By knowing both yourself and your opponent, you can hide private files such as photos of illegitimate children in places where they will never be able to find them. Secondly, one must suppress the other party on a moral level, pretending to accidentally discover that they are looking through private information in their phone, rather than doing what you described, which is to \"look up Old Wang next door’s number.\" Then one should shout to the sky or appear deeply saddened, as if muttering to oneself, \"Why do two people in love have to be so suspicious of each other?\" If the other party hands over their phone shyly, asking you to take a look as well, you must resist your selfish desire to spy and continue to pretend: \"Trust is mutual; perhaps I haven’t done well enough usually, which is why you feel this way.\" ” If the other person is a tough, straightforward woman like Ma Dongmei, and she can’t help but slap you when she sees you acting in such a pretentious way, then I suggest you accept your fate – it’s like giving away your phone or spilling water. If a story begins with the line \"Let me see your phone,\" to have a happy ending, it shouldn’t take a absurd path, nor should it end with the characters going their separate ways or even fighting each other – that would be simply going against common sense. Everyone has curiosity, but strangely enough, people seem to prefer exploring negative possibilities, scrutinizing the wording and emojis in messages. Some even go so far as to create a fake identity in order to test or tempt their partner – such people would be perfect for starring in family drama horror movies. Some people also think that if you have good character, why not allow your phone to be checked? There must be something hidden in your mind But in fact, the reason people need private space is that they want their lives not to be completely transparent, so that they can do things that are imperfect, immoral, or even shameful in places where others cannot see them. If things that are reasonable, legitimate, and lawful must be shown to others, then why can’t something as reasonable, legitimate, and lawful as defecation be broadcast live on the street, just for environmental reasons? In contrast, protecting privacy is a reasonable and lawful act, while the desire to spy on others is vile and despicable. Yet there are those who, from the perspective of such a desire, criticize and question others’ efforts to protect privacy – which is simply absurd. Finally, why force yourself to satisfy a desire for curiosity that even God cannot fulfill? ?