Youth, meeting you

Thread Content

The wind is waiting for the rain. Just like my youth, waiting for you. ——Preface: On the sidewalk, so many pedestrians… You, who passed by, turned around and gave me a smile; I stopped at the street corner, as if time itself had come to a standstill forever. You, at this moment, have entered my youth and become the symbol of what is called happiness in my life. How many times have I thought that by fixing my affectionate gaze on your face for a long time, you would remain as calm as usual, yet just a few words from you could cause me invisible pain. In midnight dreams, a few tears appear at the corners of my eyes; my heart feels tightly strained. In confusion, I keep searching for you from those dreams, sometimes close by and sometimes far away… What should I do? Who can give me a definite answer? Knowing it’s impossible, I still foolishly can’t let go. Several times you were right in front of me, speaking in someone else’s language and being very close to that person. I quietly drew a corner aside, closed my eyes, and used all my strength to isolate that scene which had nothing to do with me. A shower, in an instant, the world becomes heartless. I don’t want to give up, but I have no reason to get close to you. Fate shaped me – just to laugh at me? Why, in the best years of my life, did I have to meet you and suffer so much because of it? Once, not understanding what it meant to give one’s heart fully, a single lamp, a classic book, and a cup of tea were enough to make life feel satisfying. But now, with countless emotions swirling in my heart, the moments that pass by seem to slip away only for you; I am doomed to dwell in the sea of suffering, unable to find freedom in the darkness. Why did I have to meet you? If I had a chance to turn back time, I would wish to have walked quickly along that sidewalk in the past; and you, please don’t turn around to smile at me. Perhaps without you in my life, there will be fewer storms! I can’t remember when, but you once gave me a hug as well; you held my hand and told me not to be so sad. At that moment, I was very content; even though I knew you were acting out of concern—or perhaps pity—but so what? For me, that was enough. Perhaps this is what Buddha meant by karma – I can’t change the fact of meeting you, so I’ve made up my mind to cherish these days together. Maybe it’s because of your arrival that I am growing more mature day by day. Thank you for being part of my youth and giving me a different adolescence. Perhaps one day in the future, we will all have to say goodbye. What tone and expression should I use to face you at that moment? Now, here, I pour all my emotions into these words; if they were presented before you, could you discern the thousands of devoted thoughts contained within? I have no other intentions, nor do I ask for anything. I only hope that you’ll take a few more glances at me in this sea of people, and that you’ll remember there was once such a person in your life – someone who appeared in your youth. My youth was truly complete only with you by my side; meeting you is the most beautiful memory of my life! A single letter bears a thousand tears; a few strokes express sorrow and endless grief. There is no way back from here; will you accompany me to the ends of the earth? ——Postscript