【Repost Share】Goodbye, My girl

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This post was last edited by A Senior Rookie in Design on 2016-8-18 at 17:05. Love always germinates in feelings, matures in fantasies, and ultimately ends under the influence of reason. True love is like a bunch of buds in spring, growing gently with the nourishment of wind, rain, and dew; even in the face of occasional storms, it remains calm and composed. Often, love does not proceed smoothly just because there is mutual affection; on the journey of love, one always finds dust or stains in various corners. Cleaning it all away is no easy task, but one certainly will not allow such things to remain – either by avoiding them, cleaning them up, or turning a blind eye. However, everyone approaches this differently. I’ve been separated from her for two or three months now. Looking back on those days when we were together, it wasn’t all trouble; there were also some happy moments, but relatively speaking, those positive memories seem less significant. It wasn’t long from our first meeting to our subsequent parting. During these days of dependence on one another, I hated her lies and scheming, but what was even more intolerable to me was her selfishness. In the eyes of ordinary people, we are all selfish, and there’s nothing wrong with that; it’s the nature of all living beings. But I gradually realized that her selfishness was particularly extreme – she only knew how to take, and often acted as if it were perfectly legitimate to do so. She wouldn’t accept kind advice from others, nor did she feel any shame at all. While others’ requests are based on their own efforts, hers are based on the tolerance and generosity of others. To judge a mature person, I think one should first look at their character and inner qualities, and only then assess whether they handle human relationships and the trivialities of life properly. If a person does not even understand the most basic rules of conduct, they will surely be dragged by their stupidity and ignorance to the distant Sahara Desert, where they must endure isolation and heat. She is very good at lying; she has never shown any signs of nervousness while lying, always remaining calm and composed. I hate this deeply and can only tolerate it with difficulty. I don’t like to see others in an awkward situation, as it makes me feel uncomfortable just like them; therefore, I rarely expose their lies. However, I must ensure that my own dignity or interests are not compromised, and I think that’s only reasonable. As time passed and our feelings deepened, I tolerated her, forgave her, and even continued to accommodate her. But it was precisely because of my love that something happened that filled me with regret and anger. During a casual conversation, I accidentally found out that she was already married – and had been for eight years. Of course, I couldn’t accept this fact, but what angered me even more were the promises she had made to me and the deception she employed. The beautiful things she used to say pulled me into her swirling vortex time and again, allowing me to dream and aspire within it; she would always give me encouragement and support, and I was very grateful to her at that time. But this time, for this matter, I absolutely will not allow myself to show her that kind of compassion anymore, let alone forgive her. Her repeated pleas and cries of sorrow seem so ridiculous and filthy; they fail to touch even the slightest vulnerable part of my heart. In her subsequent explanations, I would unconsciously push her away, because that incident completely cooled down my true feelings, my aspirations, and that part of my heart filled with a strong sense of self-respect. The last time we met was around April or May, at Beijing West Station. I didn’t know in advance that she would come to see me off, but to my surprise she did show up. After a brief hug and some words of farewell, I got on the train. She loved me so much that, after I discovered that, he showed such madness and despair. Her selfishness and her skill at lying make me feel disgusted just thinking about it now. Although we have been apart for a long time, I occasionally recall those happy moments we spent together, but there are far more of those unhealed wounds. I want to say that I’m doing well now; I haven’t become depressed or listless because of this, and I continue with my art, my music, and my writing. Perhaps she will read this short letter, and I am sure she will understand one thing: when you seek love by improper means, you are also, in the same way, destroying that love.