Thread Content
Warning ahead: A bunch of funny jokes about fog are coming your way! We advise everyone to just smile after reading them – laughing too hard will only cause you to inhale more fog... The weekly fog-related jokes are here again as usual; talented netizens have come up with various humorous comments to make fun of the situation! Warning ahead: A bunch of funny jokes about fog are coming your way! We advise everyone to just smile after reading them – laughing too hard will only cause you to inhale more fog... ▓ Equipment detecting fog: The MRI machines at Shuguang Hospital (from Siemens) have stopped working, as the smoke detectors mistook the fog for actual smoke and shut down the machines automatically... ▓ Fictional stories about fog: At Caishikou in the capital city, there’s a row of prisoners who are about to be executed, kneeling there. “It was three o’clock in the afternoon; time for the execution! As soon as these words were spoken, the masked executioner stepped forward and pulled off the prisoner’s mask... ▓ Poems on Mist: Beyond the mountains are more mountains, beyond the towers are more towers; when will the mist over the old palace cease? The poisonous wind intoxicates the visitors, turning the imperial capital into Africa. ▓ Stars talk about fog: At 20, standing at Deshengmen, one can see the Western Hills; at 30, still standing there, one can see Xizhimen; by 40, standing at Deshengmen, one can’t even see that gate anymore! ▓ Couplet commenting on fog: Upper line – Great virtue carries the fog; self-reliance prevents one from being affected by it. Lower line – Working hard despite the haze, creating more grayness. Title line – Serving the people through fog. http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/9a106e5a-09a1-4e6e-9b68-015069c94b54.jpg ▉ Boss: Why are you late again? Xiao Wang: I... Boss: What’s wrong? Was it traffic jam, something at home, or did the car break down along the way? Do you plan to come up with other excuses? Xiao Wang: None of that... The fog was too thick today; I didn’t notice it when I passed by the company and just kept walking... ▉ A guy said that in the morning the fog was so dense that one couldn’t even see the memorial pillars in Xinghai Square; now he says: I even can’t see a hundred yuan when I hold it in front of me*. http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/e7f65cb5-514e-4c41-acd4-79a82c7c6451.jpg ▉ An elderly couple in Harbin went out into the fog early in the morning and got separated. The old woman quickly picked up her phone and asked, “Husband, where are you?” The man replied, “I’m just one meter in front of you!” The woman said, “I can’t see you!” The man said, “I can hear you talking from such a short distance!” The woman replied, “I’m not talking; I’m calling you on the phone.” The old man said, “I didn’t bring my phone!” The old woman said, “Oh no! I used the remote control, but it was so foggy inside that I couldn’t see anything clearly.” ▉ At the Houhai bar, a group of people are chatting. A said, \"The fog is too thick. I went for a walk with my dog in the Olympic Village; when I came back, wow! I had brought back someone else’s dog.\" B said, \"It is. Today I went to Zhongguancun No.1 Primary School to pick up my child from school, but I ended up bringing back someone else’s son.\" C shouted that this was bad and rushed outside. Everyone was puzzled. Ding said: His wife went to Xidan to buy clothes today and still hasn’t returned yet??http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/aae7dea0-31bc-4fb6-a3d4-386dfe28ae59.jpg ▉ I just heard a broadcast on Beijing Traffic Radio; a guy called in and talked to the host, almost crying, saying that the fog was so thick that he couldn’t see the traffic lights. When he reached the middle of the road, he saw that it was a red light, yet he continued driving through four or five red lights – what should he do? The host comforted him by saying it was okay, as the thick fog made it impossible to see his license plate number! ▉ This morning, a colleague got lost while driving. He got out of the car to look for signs, and saw another guy also trying to find his way. He went up to ask him, “Hey, where am I?” That guy gave him detailed directions! After thanking him and about to leave, he turned around and asked the guy, “What are you still looking for?” The guy replied, “I was also trying to find signs! I found them! But I can’t find my car!”http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/e3012b19-93cd-49cc-aef1-7758c856cb03.jpg ▉ These are times when one really has to keep going. The food became poisonous; let’s eat fish then, just drink water without eating, okay? Later, even the water turned poisonous; let’s become a turtle that retracts its head, not eating or drinking, just breathing, okay? In the end, even the air became poisonous; in order to survive, we stopped treating ourselves as human beings. ▉ This morning, in Beijing, as I made my way out through the mist, I saw in the dim light an old man sitting alone at a table, wearing a white coat. On the table was a small cylinder filled with slips of paper. I stepped forward, picked up the cylinder, shook it around for a while, pulled out one stick and handed it over, saying, “Old man, life is like mist; where is the path? Please tell me my fate!” The old man replied, “I just sell breakfast foods; why are you fiddling with my chopsticks?” http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/fcf7b625-c101-444b-a4b3-c69c050979d0.jpg ▉ Louis Koo returned to the United States in fear, saying, “Brother Oh, I’ve decided not to be an ambassador anymore today.” ”Obama was angry: “Then tell the world why you resigned; otherwise don’t call me brother!” The next day, Locke came to see Obama again: “I’m sorry, brother! I received money to keep quiet and promised that I resigned not because of Wu Mai.” ”Obama: “You are not a noble person, someone who is free from vulgar interests.” ”Robert Locke: “I used to be.” ” ▉ Putting down Locke’s resignation letter, Obama said in frustration, “Even you great heroes aren’t willing to take on the role of ambassador to China? Is it that scary?” Iron Man, The Hulk, Batman, Spider-Man, and the others all lowered their heads in shame. Suddenly, Wolverine suggested, “Optimus Prime can definitely do it! He doesn’t need to breathe!” Warm applause erupted. Optimus Prime raised his head silently and said, “I need to draw lots!” http://img1.17img.cn/17img/images/201611/insimg/5217b661-8339-4953-b0af-380808893041.jpg Let’s just wait patiently for the wind to blow~~~