Young parents, come and take a look quickly! It’s really hard to achieve excellence in life if one cannot develop these few good **habits** as a child!

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This post was last edited by Qing_Xue on 2016-12-3 08:09. It’s really hard to achieve excellence if one cannot develop these few good habits throughout their life! 2016-11-07 Changsha 7 Xi, excerpted from ZexueTang. Reads: 4006; Shares: 522. Save to my library. WeChat share: ────360doc Personal Library. Effective ways of raising children ● When parents love their children, they plan for their long-term future. This section aims to convey the good and bad aspects of family education, helping parents raise their children more easily and become wiser parents! “When it comes to helping children develop good habits, it’s better to act late than not at all! ” “I heard that your child once again came in first place in the entire grade; they even made it into the top three in the recent math Olympiad. That’s really impressive! How do they study on a daily basis? ” “There’s no special trick to learning*; it’s just that getting used to learning** is pretty good! ” This is the most hurtful thing I’ve ever heard. But I must say, this is the most apt statement of all. Many parents complain that their children are not motivated, don’t put in effort, aren’t interested in studying*, don’t do housework, and even refuse to read picture books... They are constantly urged to study* and do their homework, which really drives the parents crazy! What if all these problems stem from the fact that the children don’t have good habits? I know firsthand that it’s really a hundred times more important for children to have good habits than to have good grades at the moment. 1*If one is not the best servant, then one is at least the worst master. One of my colleagues has a handsome son who is three years old and looks very cute and adorable. The most pleasing thing is that he has gotten used to it every day; by 12 o’clock noon, he starts demanding to have lunch ； Around 8 p.m., he would go to bed to read picture books or listen to stories, and as he listened, he would fall asleep by around 9 p.m. It has remained unchanged; I’ve stuck with it for almost two years now. The most delightful thing is that he knows to put his dirty clothes in the basket next to the bedroom every day ； Take off your shoes as soon as you enter ； Play with the toys properly, and know how to put them away neatly again ； When he sees acquaintances or friends, he greets them warmly, calling them “Auntie” or “Sister”... What’s most adorable is that despite his young age, he has tremendous patience and remains calm and composed. Whether he is drawing, playing with Lego puzzles, or even reading, he can maintain that initial state for several hours. ... It’s this kind of little person who won over the hearts of everyone around them. Every time I see him, he is well-mannered, polite, and obedient; I want to have another child like him. It really won’t work; can you give me a pair? Colleagues often envy them and ask how they manage to raise such sensible, easy-to-care-for children She also repeatedly and patiently told everyone that it actually comes down to two words: *habit! Having taken care of children for so long, I have always loved these two characters. The day before yesterday, a close friend complained to me that her child was becoming increasingly disobedient; she refused to do homework no matter what. Every kind of persuasion and temptation was tried, as well as shouting and scolding, but it seemed utterly heartless. Even when forced to write, the child was still distracted – what can be done? Yes, the child is staring at their homework book, but in their mind they might be thinking, \"Hey, how’s the battle between the Gourd Brothers and the ultimate boss, the Golden-winged Eagle, going?\" Suddenly, oh no! Ah Hong, along with Da Bai and a bunch of novice siblings, have run into some kind of danger again? How can we use wit and strategy to eliminate those evil forces? Another thought: The chicken leg rice my mom made today is really delicious; I wonder if I’ll be able to eat it again tomorrow... There are so many interesting things that can fill one’s mind – who would want to do such boring homework, looking at all those numbers? A friend told me later that she hadn’t paid much attention to it before; she thought as long as the child could finish their homework that was enough. The child had always been lazy and unenthusiastic, but now the situation has gotten worse... Now she’s also worried! Later, we talked about the issue of habits. She said that she hadn’t managed to develop many good habits herself; moreover, many of the bad habits her child has now also stem from her own influence. As the conversation went on, she began to scold herself harshly... Emerson said, “Habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” ” Good habits are mentors that help children grow, while bad habits are the forces that lead children down a path of degeneration. “Between “poor students” and “good students”, there’s a difference in “good habits”” ； “Between “bad kids” and “good kids”, there is also the difference of having “good habits”. 2* Habit: allowing different children to separate on their own; like attracts like. My daughter often tells me that there are many “small gangs” among her classmates. Even she has 2 “gangs” of her own. For example, her gang has the “Speech Group” and the “Impressionist Group”. It’s just a few like-minded friends who, due to shared interests, formed an English learning group to discuss oral practice and training in English public speaking ； Then there’s the “Impressionists” (Monet comes to mind as well)… They got together because they loved painting; the kids in this group would meet up to paint and go out for sketching, etc. There are similar gangs in the class as well: the “Piano Princess Gang,” the “Basketball Prince Gang,” and even the “Doraemon Fans Gang,” the “Bookworms Gang,” the “Food Lovers Gang”... These kids form gangs obsessively, but I really want to be part of them too... In real life as well: they like basketball, so they arrange to play basketball on certain weekends, and that’s how groups of basketball enthusiasts are formed ； They are into sports and *are used to going for runs, doing yoga, and working on their abs at a certain time every week ； They enjoy reading and *like to find a quiet place, with a cup of coffee, a book, and an entire afternoon ； They prefer playing games; they’re used to starting to play right after school or work, and continuing until late at night without getting enough of it ； They like cartoons; they’re used to watching a few episodes every day, and then being urged to do their homework, with the scenes from the fights still in their minds... They’re not used to being scolded by teachers and parents. However, they’re accustomed to daydreaming during class, being distracted and inattentive; their minds are filled with stories and legends, but there’s no room for poetry or arithmetic... Their personalities, traits, and interests are all the result of “habits” gradually formed in the course of daily life. Because \"habit\" fosters a certain personality (or preference), and it is this personality that leads to changes in one’s fate. Those who share the same *habits also have similar values, and ultimately such \"like-minded people\" will get closer to each other... Birds of a feather flock together. Moreover, many educators say that *it encourages social classes to separate on their own and not mix together! Our thoughts guide our actions, actions develop into habits, and it is these habits that shape our character, which in turn determines our fate. *Habits, therefore, shape a child’s second nature. Without these good habits, it’s really difficult for children to excel. Educator Ye Shengtao once said, “Education is about cultivating habits.” Once a person develops good habits, his self-disciplined behaviors gradually become part of his character, manifesting itself in how he behaves and conducts himself in life. Over time, this leads to the formation of a healthy personality. Education is about cultivating habits. ●Good habits can help foster a healthy personality in children ； ● Good learning habits help to stimulate students’ enthusiasm and initiative, facilitate the development of learning strategies, and improve learning efficiency ； It helps to develop the ability to learn independently. ●Good habits can improve a child’s moral character. ..... Before any good habit can be formed, one has to go through some difficulties first. The six good habits listed below will influence and shape every aspect of a child’s future studies and life. Parents have the responsibility, and even a greater obligation, to set a good example and help their children develop these good habits. 1* Habit 1: The habit of taking the initiative to learn. It’s not hard to notice that those top students in class all possess one thing – the drive to learn on their own initiative. Only those children who take the initiative to learn* truly experience an awakening of inner strength. Learning is, in itself, a matter that concerns the child themselves, and I have always instilled this idea in my daughter. It is not difficult to see that: ● Children who learn proactively have strong self-discipline. They don’t need their parents to urge them, nag them, or even get angry ； ● Children who take the initiative to learn can distinguish between important and unimportant matters, have clear priorities, and are generally better at planning and summarizing ； ● Children who take the initiative to learn* develop more distinct personalities; they do not easily give up on their decisions and are better able to resist external temptations and distractions ； ..... Children with a proactive attitude toward learning* have a strong desire to learn*, and they will go further on this path of learning; as a result, they are more likely to achieve success in the future. How should parents help their children develop the habit of learning proactively? ? Set clear goals and small plans for the child that are easy to achieve, in order to satisfy their desire to \"win\". Studying* is a hard and tedious task. When guiding children to learn*, parents should not make them feel that learning* is difficult or boring. You can make small plans step by step, so that children can experience the significance and fun of learning new knowledge. If children discover that they can achieve the goals set in advance through their own efforts, this greatly fosters in them a sense of competition, gradually giving them the motivation to learn. ? Boost the child’s sense of achievement in learning*. None of the children I’ve met dislike being affirmed and praised. Of all the difficulties in the world, if any can be resolved through words, then praise or encouragement is the best choice. Every act of encouragement helps children feel a sense of achievement after learning, which is even more motivating than motivational speeches! ? If a child lacks self-discipline, the best approach is to be present and set an example. Among all academic tasks, many children lose interest as they progress in learning. At such times, parents need not only to offer encouragement but also to show through their actions that there is always a reason and determination to persevere in anything. For example, when a child is studying*, parents can read books or work nearby. Remember, third-rate parents act as nannies, while first-rate parents set an example! ? Why should children learn * and read? ——Help children find the interest and meaning in learning. If a child is filled with interest, everything becomes easy. The source of interest lies not only in being able to apply knowledge in life, but also in experiencing the dominance of knowledge over all things and the sense of achievement that comes with it. Sukhomlinsky said, \"There is an ingrained need in human hearts – the desire to feel like a discoverer, a researcher, an explorer.\" In a child’s mental world, this need is particularly strong. ”If parents can encourage their children to actively participate or realize that many things in life require knowledge and wisdom to address, then the children will naturally pursue and become interested in knowledge. 2*Habit 2: Develop the habit of making plans and sticking to them. A plan is like a bridge that connects where the child is now with the place they want to go. Developing the *habit of making plans is not only a way to train children to be meticulous in their tasks, but it also enhances their ability to think independently. Having the *habit of making plans now can help children navigate their entire academic career, and in the future, it will enable them to develop stronger skills in planning for their studies, careers, and personal life. How can we help children develop the habit of making plans? When my daughter makes plans, I usually advise her to consider the following factors: 1. The difference between long-term and short-term plans; 2. How to balance ideals with reality; 3. Breaking down goals to make progress step by step. As an example regarding long-term and short-term plans… After school, when the child finds out that the homework assigned by the teacher in math, Chinese, English, physics, and chemistry requires a total of 3 hours to complete, how should that child manage their time? For example, if it’s planned that each subject takes 30 minutes to complete, the child can choose which subject to do first, according to their own preference. For example, it can be arranged in order from easy to difficult ； It can be based on the child’s preferences; for example, if they prefer subjects like language, math, and English, then start with those subjects first ； After finishing homework, how much time is left to read books for fun? How much time is left to do other things? With these ideas in mind, planning like this every day constitutes a simple, short-term plan. Plans don’t need to be written down, but children must learn to organize themselves. So, the long-term plan is to help children learn to “plan events”. A plan that takes some time to complete is a long-term plan. For example, if a child is currently ranked 18th in the class, how can they achieve better grades over time? To 10th place, 3rd place? Short-term plans focus more on the allocation of time ； The long-term plan focuses on changes in “events”. ? How to balance ideals and reality: This factor takes into account the contradictions and conflicts between reality and ideals in the planning. Because ideals are lofty, but one should not set overly ambitious goals when making plans. For a certain period of time, a child may have great motivation to achieve a particular goal. However, if the child’s actual situation is far removed from the plans, this can also severely damage the child’s confidence, leading to many unnecessary setbacks and conflicts. If, after making an effort, the child still cannot achieve the set goal, they should stop at that point, change direction, and adjust their strategy in a timely manner. ? Break down the goals and make progress step by step. For example, if a child’s current math grades are not good, barely reaching the passing level. Planning to reach 90 points in one semester sounds completely impossible! Big! Sure! Yes! Of course, if you try to break down a large goal into smaller ones – for example, taking 2 weeks as a short period during which to focus on review and find the right learning methods to improve by 5 points – then you can improve by 10 points in one month. Within one semester, it is still possible to achieve the ambitious goal of 90 points. Breaking down a large plan into several smaller plans and then completing and overcoming them one by one makes it much easier. When making plans, parents need to continuously evaluate and adjust them. Because throughout the entire planning process, the plans often encounter obstacles or cannot proceed due to actual needs. At this point, it is absolutely not advisable to stick rigidly to the old ways; one must weigh the pros and cons and even revise the plans. 3* Habit 3: Do things by yourself. There was a popular video online once: Things that a 1.5-year-old child abroad can do in one day – you definitely wouldn’t have imagined it! (Available to view) A 1.5-year-old boy abroad, holding a pacifier, is able to dress himself, take baths, and feed his dog by himself at home... This video has left many parents in awe. And now, what can our 1.5-year-old child do at home? Some time ago, a moving true story that brought tears to people’s eyes also touched everyone. A Japanese mother named Chie, who was suffering from breast cancer and on the verge of death, once lamented that she had no money, no power, and no status, and didn’t know what to leave behind for her daughter, Ahua... Later, she said, \"Without any support, I hope my daughter can still live a healthy and fulfilling life on her own.\" ”So, before she passed away, she kept teaching her daughter how to do housework, wash clothes, cook, and so on. All the daily tasks – a 5-year-old can do them! It also truly achieved self-reliance. It is so important for children to develop independent habits. First, parents must return the decision-making power to their children, believing that they have the ability to be their own masters. Rather than constantly watching the child anxiously every day, it’s better to let them learn to be independent. Secondly, give the child more opportunities to try; believe that he has enough ability to develop on his own. Such as the habit of doing housework, the habit of organizing homework, the habit of making plans, and the right to choose interests and hobbies. How many things that our children are capable of doing on their own are still being done for them by their parents these days? How many more parents, due to their reluctance to delegate responsibilities or their inability to bear it, cause their children to gradually develop habits of laziness, procrastination, and lack of gratitude? If one day you find these \"evil traits\" in your child, will you blame yourself? Regret? Complain? So, from now on, let go quickly and let the child learn to do things on their own. 4*Habit 4: The habit of thinking and creating. Nowadays, not only do various countries advocate for development through innovation and creativity, but even those successful individuals at the forefront of the world are discussing the impact that the next thirty years will have on children. Ma Yun said that in education, from elementary school to university, the next thirty years will see competition not only in learning abilities but also in innovation capabilities. A survey by the International Assessment of Educational Progress shows that among the 21 countries surveyed, Chinese children rank first in computational skills, last in imagination, and fifth from the bottom in creativity. Furthermore, among primary and middle school students in China, only 4.7% consider themselves to be curious and imaginative, while only 14.9% wish to develop their imagination and creativity. In our lives, such phenomena are all too common: children aren’t allowed to do this, or they’re prohibited from doing that ； Afraid of getting dirty with mud and spoiling one’s clothes ； Seeing the child draw a picture that is unreadable, blaming the child for not knowing how to draw ； Focusing only on the schoolwork at hand, while ignoring the impact and effects of other wonderful things on children ； …. A child’s natural curiosity and desire to learn are thus blocked by their parents. Being imaginative is a trait as well as a good habit. Without imagination, one cannot become a poet, nor a philosopher, nor a thoughtful person, a rational being, or a true human being. How can parents help children develop habits of imagination and creativity? 　 1. Encourage children to be curious. Children learn every day; they enjoy exploring everything around them. Even if they make mistakes sometimes due to improper methods, as long as their parents provide positive guidance, their thinking skills will gradually develop over time as they gain more knowledge and experience. 2. Foster children’s creativity. Parents should be good at observing and understanding their children’s behavioral habits, encourage them to express their thoughts, feelings, and wishes freely, and offer praise and encouragement for even the slightest signs of creativity in order to boost their confidence. 3. Avoid criticism or mockery. Children often make mistakes out of curiosity. For example, if a child breaks a vase accidentally just to see what it looks like, and if the parents only focus on the broken vase while ignoring the child’s curiosity and desire to learn, it will only hinder the development of their creativity. Or if a child designs or creates something, parents should certainly not laugh at them because they don’t understand it, thereby making the child lose confidence. 4. Experience a diverse range of life and things. Whether in school or in daily life, parents should not take over too much for their children, worry excessively about them, or even restrict and deprive them of the opportunities to develop independently. Take the time to try more new things and be active ； Take the opportunity to experience life more ； Have the energy to spend more time in nature, broaden one’s horizons, and deepen understanding of life. 5. Protect children’s curiosity and foster the development of imagination. Ada used to be very curious about how chickens lay eggs. So we bought a chicken for home. Ada goes to check every day when the chickens lay eggs, and how many eggs they lay each day, etc. . This not only satisfies the child’s curiosity but also allows them to enter the world of imagination in an enjoyable way. Only through careful observation, comparison, and experience can children engrave these rich, accurate, and vivid things in their minds. This not only protects the child’s curiosity but also fosters their imagination. 5*Reading Habit: The habit of reading. If one has to choose between \"traveling thousands of miles\" and \"reading ten thousand books\", it’s much easier to achieve the latter. If we don’t know whether those \"slow kids\" enjoy reading in their free time, it’s easy to guess that those smart kids must read a lot. Because children who enjoy reading must have rich imaginations and wide knowledge ； Children who enjoy reading are better at thinking and summarizing; their IQ improves, and their emotional intelligence is certainly not low ； Children who enjoy reading develop more distinct personalities and possess stronger abilities to solve problems independently. For example, in life we encounter many problems and questions that we usually don’t come across; when it’s difficult to convey them directly to children, books can teach them many principles that are easy to understand** ； Children who enjoy reading can’t be that unintelligent, no matter how slow they are. A brain with a vast store of knowledge, if it can learn to integrate that knowledge, will have all of this wisdom serve as an energy source for the child throughout their life. ...... So, be sure to help children develop a habit of reading! Habit No. 6: A habit of refinement that helps children shine even more brightly. Refinement is a habit! If a child is well-born and beautiful, but is disliked by others, it must be because they lack sufficient manners. Well-mannered children are very likable and make people feel comfortable. Over the years, I have also witnessed the various problems caused by many children’s unreasonable behavior and lack of discipline, which trouble others. In reality, there are many difficult people everywhere. In the garden of the human soul, the simplest, most beautiful, and most ordinary flower is human cultivation! If emotional intelligence has a profound and indispensable impact on a person, then the first thing that should be developed through emotional intelligence is manners. In the face of major moral dilemmas, many parents inadvertently plant various \"negative traits\" in their children’s character, leaving behind thorns in the hearts of others as well. Excessive protection, overindulgence, and lack of discipline on the part of parents not only foster these \"negative traits\" in children but also contribute to their more unreasonable and misbehaving behavior in the future. A well-mannered child, even if lacking talent, possesses virtue; a well-mannered child also has high emotional intelligence! The path ahead for a child may be smooth or full of challenges, but these good habits will always help them move forward more smoothly and achieve greater success in life! By helping their children develop these good habits, parents not only truly fulfill their children’s desire to grow up freely throughout their lives, but they also realize their own long-held wish of not having to struggle too much in raising them.