It turns out this is called: Festinger’s Law (very classic)

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The American social psychologist Festinger had a very famous theory, known as the \"Festinger Principle\": 10% of life consists of the things that happen to us, while the other 90% is determined by how we react to those events. In other words, 10% of things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are under our control. Festinger gives such an example in the book. When Castin got up in the morning and started washing up, he placed his expensive watch casually on the sink. Fearing that it might get wet, his wife took it and put it on the dining table. When his son got up and went to the dining table to get some bread, he accidentally knocked his watch to the ground and it broke. Casting loved his watch, so he beat his son’s bottom. Then he scolded his wife angrily with a dark face. The wife was not convinced, saying she was worried that the water would wet the watch. Casting said his watch was water-resistant. So the two of them started arguing fiercely. In a fit of anger, Castin skipped breakfast and drove straight to the office. As he was approaching the office, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten his briefcase, so he immediately turned back home. But there was no one at home; his wife had gone to work and his son had gone to school. Castin had left his keys in his briefcase, so he couldn’t get in, and he had to call his wife to ask for the keys. In her haste to get home, the wife knocked over a fruit stall by the road; the stall owner grabbed her and prevented her from leaving, demanding compensation. She was forced to pay some money before she could get away. By the time he got his briefcase, Castin was already 15 minutes late, and he was severely reprimanded by his boss; Castin was in an extremely bad mood. Before leaving work, I had an argument with a colleague over a small matter. The wife also had her monthly punctuality bonus taken away due to leaving early. Her son participated in a baseball game that day; he had a good chance of winning, but performed poorly because of his poor mood and was eliminated in the first inning. In this case, the watch breaking is 10% of it, while the subsequent series of events constitute the other 90%. It was all because the person in question failed to manage those 90% properly that this day turned into a \"frustrating day\". Imagine, after those 10% are generated, what if a different reaction took place. For example, he comforted his son: \"It’s okay, son. It’s no big deal if the watch is broken; I can take it to get it repaired.\" ”In this way, the son is happy, the wife is happy too, and he himself is in a good mood; then everything that happened later would not have occurred. It is clear that you can’t control the first 10%, but you can definitely determine the remaining 90% through your mindset and actions. In real life, people often complain: Why am I so unlucky? There are always some bad things happening to me every day; why can’t I have a moment of peace and a good mood? Can anyone help me? It’s all a matter of mindset. In fact, it is not others who can help oneself, but oneself. If one understands and can skillfully apply the Festinger Principle in handling matters, all problems will be easily solved.