Children's education issues!

There are plenty of results when searching online; different people have different opinions There’s no best way; there are just differences. A father has an impact on his child when the child is a bit older. The nature of motherhood is not entirely suited to social reproduction, but rather to the reproduction of human beings themselves. Children mostly get to know the human society they are about to enter through the “window” of their father. Therefore, the father serves as a bridge for children from the family to society. 　　Characteristics of fathers in child-rearing: Mothers are able to communicate and develop at the same pace as their children. When a child is one year old, the mother can view the child from that child’s perspective; when the child is five years old, she can play with the child using the mindset of a five-year-old. A father’s mindset is fixed; he can only view his child from one perspective. Whether the child is one year old or five, it’s whatever he thinks is right; in other words, the father intervenes in the child’s education only after the child is seven or eight years old. For example, a two-year-old child is crying, and the father doesn’t know why the child is crying. Moms are different; they can tell whether a child is hungry or cold. 　　The role of fathers in child-rearing: On one hand, fathers need to create an environment, both material and emotional, at home and outside, so as to give mothers the peace of mind needed to raise their children. In a family, men and women work together in division of labor. If women consider economic and external factors too much when raising children, they will lose their normal mental state. 　　On the other hand, the role of the mother is greater the younger the child; as the child grows to the age of five or six, the role of the father becomes increasingly important. The mother represents nature, physiology, and psychology to a greater extent. The father represents the world of external order; he understands the rules of competition and value standards in society. Fathers have a deeper understanding of the division of labor and changes in society; children enter society through their fathers’ shoulders. Mothers are different; their nature is not entirely suited to social reproduction, but rather to the reproduction of human beings themselves. Children mostly get to know the human society they are about to enter through the “window” of their father. Therefore, the father serves as a bridge for children from the family to society. 　　As children grow older, they need to develop a more accurate understanding of the world around them. Only through the joint efforts of both parents can excellent children be raised, rather than relying on the mother alone or on her efforts alone. 　　Historically, children raised by widowed mothers had a particularly high rate of success. This is because widowed mothers not only provided their children with basic physiological care, but also directly participated in social production; thus, they were aware of societal developments and the ways of the world. 　　Since children raised by a single mother tend to succeed more easily, should the father do his best to let the mother educate the child? 　　That’s not the case; the development of a person is not merely about achieving success, but also involves their harmonious growth as an individual. Daughters raised by their widowed mothers often achieve great success in their careers, but their subsequent family lives are usually not fulfilling. These girls have never lived with their fathers since childhood. They don’t know how to interact with men, because their mothers couldn’t freely associate with men, and they themselves also couldn’t do so. As a result, it’s easy to imagine men as being either too good or too bad. 　　The children are theirs together, but what if only one person has the final say in how they are raised? 　　We’ll listen to whoever is right! The scary thing is when the truth is known by just one person in the family, and that person isn’t the authority figure in the family; the consequences can be rather bad. Generally speaking, a child’s personality is shaped by the person in the family who holds decision-making power. To some extent, children stand on their parents’ shoulders; as tall as their parents are, that’s how tall the children will be ； As far as the parents can go, that’s as far as the children can go. 　　Due to lack of time or space, unable to take care of the child, how can a father like you make the child feel fatherly love? 　　In addition to providing a material foundation for the family and children, another responsibility of a father is to pass on to them the joys and sorrows he has experienced in society, as well as his life experiences, using his valuable wisdom to nourish their souls. My daughter is already eight years old and not living with me, but I have made plans for her to live with me. As for the requirements and expectations I have for her, I let my wife influence her through her words; I often hear things like, \"Your father hopes you do this,\" or \"This is how your father does it,\" and so on. 　　Do you agree with the idea of asking women to go home? 　　I don’t agree with the reasons given to make a woman go home. They view teaching children as a byproduct; the key is to make room for others. On the contrary, men should give up their positions to women when those positions are in short supply. On the other hand, regarding phased employment and flexible employment, during the first three years after a child’s birth, society should be responsible for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers; society should pay them wages. When children grow up, society should create conditions for mothers to seek employment again, allowing them to return to their maternal roles rather than leaving home and abandoning those roles.

There’s a show in the United States called \"Super Nanny\"; I think it’s quite useful

It is most important for parents to set an example. It’s too difficult for parents to expect their children to do what they themselves can’t do.

Transferred from Douban: Management and Practice Group :) ------------------------------------------------------------》 From: wxmang, 2015-06-16 10:40:33 My thoughts on children’s education. It was originally a simple reply regarding children’s education, but I ended up writing more than intended, so it had to be posted as a separate entry. I have zero experience in raising children, as I don’t have any. Although I don’t know how to do it, by observing the successes and failures of others, I know what not to do. Based on my observation of others’ successes and failures, I believe that when educating children it is essential to tailor the approach to each individual; one should not simply copy what others do. It’s necessary to provide individualized attention, rather than relying on quick fixes – there are no shortcuts in educating children. I think this is very important: parents need to be confident and believe that their children are unique and require an original education system to be nurtured. (In fact, many parents devote their entire lives to their children, but when it comes to taking on the most crucial responsibility of creating a system for raising them, they allow scammers and fraudsters who pose as experts to harm their children, turning their treasures into weak-minded idiots.) One should not expect their children to achieve great things; it is unfair to place on them the dreams that one oneself has failed to realize. If you yourself can’t do it, why expect your child to accomplish it? One must certainly not rush things; such an approach harms a child’s physical and mental health. From my own experience, if I could delay starting college until the age of 18, I would definitely be much healthier and have achieved far more by then. Since I started college at an early age, when I entered the workplace, my colleagues were usually ten years older than me, or even older. As a result, I couldn’t make friends with them due to our different experiences, nor could I compete with them because I hadn’t seen the harsh realities of competition; I was too naive and ended up being treated like an easy target. The result is that one person has to fight alone, constantly trying things only to encounter failures, thus wasting a lot of time and effort). What’s most important for parents is to avoid being vain and ignorant. Whether a child will be successful in the future actually depends on their intellectual development during childhood (of course, emotional intelligence also plays a role, but having high emotional intelligence without sufficient intelligence only allows one to serve as a father-in-law or a jester). An excessive amount of pressure in education can harm a child’s intellectual development. One should not waste the time needed for physical and mental development by merely being able to play a few piano pieces or memorize a few Tang poems, which can lead to exhaustion and a fear of learning as well as a fear of life. As a result, an aversion to studying will persist for life. When a person loses the interest in learning proactively, it’s as if they remove the ladder needed to climb through life, thereby weakening their ability to run the marathon of life. A child who doesn’t like to read on their own is no different from a car that can’t be refueled continuously. When the fuel tank is empty, it can no longer function. No matter how far one starts off or how fast one runs at the beginning, one will inevitably be a failure who gives up halfway. There will be exams, and it really isn’t important which university one can get into; what matters is having enough intelligence to compete. In fact, for children with high intelligence, the college entrance exam is not a problem at all; it’s like a piece of cake. Among the officials at or above the ministerial level I have met, most possess very high intelligence; their intelligence is one tier higher than that of the Changjiang Scholars and professors under the Thousand Talents Program from Tsinghua University, Peking University, and the University of Science and Technology of China that I know (this is by no means an exaggeration). These ministerial-level officials with high intelligence possess three characteristics: first, they have clear thinking, are good at identifying the key points, simplifying complex matters, and approach their thinking in a structured and hierarchical manner ； Second, one should be able to express their thoughts accurately using simple methods, so that even laypeople can understand them ； Third, they are extremely good at learning, skilled at summarizing their own experiences and learning from others’ mistakes, so as to never make the same errors. Of course, they are generally able to memorize everything instantly (all officials at or above the ministerial level can easily and effortlessly memorize a speech of over 10,000 words word for word; someone like Huang Ju only needs to read it once, while Li Peng only needs to read it two or three times). They also have a tenacious personality and are not prone to giving up easily. High intelligence is not the same as a high level of education; in fact, Liu Kuaiyue only has a junior high school education, Dai Xianglong has only an intermediate vocational school education, and Zhang Ping, the former head of the National Development and Reform Commission, also only has a junior high school education. They are characterized by high intelligence. China’s brightest minds are actually officials at the ministerial level* (there are quotas for those at the vice-ministerial level, and many of them are incompetent). My experience tells me that success or failure in life’s competitions depends on: personality + intelligence + interpersonal skills + opportunities + luck. Personality is mainly determined by genetic factors; things such as being irritable or gentle, slow-paced or quick-witted, single-minded or highly intelligent are all the result of genetics. Generally speaking, people with an overly intense personality tend to have difficulty succeeding in competition, as both their strengths and weaknesses are equally apparent, making it easy for competitors to exploit those weaknesses to defeat them. However, the adventurous spirit and courage inherent in one’s personality – what is commonly referred to as having the boldness to take risks, to dare to gamble – are essential for success. Cowards, in any era, are destined to play a subordinate role; no matter how intelligent they may be, they remain nothing more than pitiful people filled with cynicism, self-pity, and feelings of envy and resentment. Intelligence is not IQ; IQ is genetic and serves as the foundation of intelligence. A high IQ can help improve intelligence, but people with a high IQ do not necessarily have high intelligence. As I understand it, intelligence = logical reasoning ability + memory ability + comprehension ability + communication ability + imagination ability + calculation ability + insight + foresight + ability to identify key points, and so on. The foundation of interpersonal skills is emotional intelligence, and emotional intelligence is also hereditary. However, people with high emotional intelligence don’t necessarily know how to interact with others; mastering these skills also requires practice and training over time. Of course, people with high emotional intelligence can more easily improve their interpersonal skills. As I understand it, the ability to interact with others equals charisma + the ability to put oneself in others’ shoes (that is, the ability to empathize) + the ability to inspire others + persuasion skills + communication skills + keen observational skills, and so on. Opportunities are actually related to the broader trends of the times; if you happen to be at the right age at the right time, you have the chance to achieve great things. For example, at the age of 20, one would encounter the period of the great revolutions in the 1920s; as long as one was talented, they would either join the Kuomintang to fight against the enemy or join the TG to carry out the land revolution. Another example: in their 20s, they encountered the reform and opening-up era of the 1980s; if they were bold enough, they would either enter business or get involved in politics. Today, they are either successful and renowned, or have fled abroad, or are left with deep scars. Anyway, life is wonderful. Luck is a manifestation of the nature of the world: randomness. We can think of luck as background noise resulting from uncertainties in a system, which constantly affects some people – affecting you either by bringing misfortune or by bringing sudden good fortune. Actually, they’re essentially the same. They are all manifestations of natural laws. According to the law of large numbers, the world follows a normal distribution: a small number of people will be lucky, while another small number will be unlucky; the majority will have nothing special, living their lives in peace, ordinarily, and normally. I believe that lucky people and unlucky people are actually equally fortunate, because it is destined that their lives will be full of twists and turns; neither of them wastes their time, as they both truly understand the essence of life. This essence might be similar to the essence of biological evolution: there are no sudden changes in direction, and those that survive are those with meaningful mutations. Such meaningful mutations are what we call evolution. Similarly, luck is also a directionless mutation. Those who survive are considered successful; we call this being lucky. Those who don’t survive, we call unlucky. In reality, it’s impossible to distinguish in nature what is luck and what is misfortune. Moreover, sometimes when the right timing, location, and conditions are not in place, luck can turn into misfortune. The ancients said that achieving sudden fame is an omen of misfortune, and that’s exactly what it means. Was Wang Hongwen, who was at the height of his power back then, lucky or unlucky? Is Liu Kuaiyue lucky or unlucky? So, the most important thing is to make life meaningful and not waste this journey.

Reposted from Douban: Management and Practice Group. wxmang, 2017-06-17 11:37:23. Mr. Mang, I feel (just my opinion) that you didn’t emphasize a very important point enough; instead, you paid more attention to factors related to intellectual and personality traits. Health... Chunfeng – I place great emphasis on physical health, especially mental health. I’ve stressed this many times; I’ve talked about it extensively in previous posts. For example, the post from a few days ago: Based on my experience and observations, there are actually several stages in life that one cannot skip or fall behind in – before the age of 5, it is a time for developing intelligence and establishing a healthy physical and mental foundation ； Before the age of 10, children should learn basic language skills, fundamental expressive abilities, basic communication skills, and essential social etiquette, thereby laying a foundation for their interactions with others ； Before the age of 15, one should learn how to be self-disciplined and how to teach oneself ； By the age of 20, one should essentially have completed learning the foundational knowledge framework for life* ； Mastery of livelihood skills should be largely achieved before the age of 25* ； Before the age of 30, determine one’s career path ； Before the age of 35, acquire professional skills and work experience ； Demonstrate initial career achievements before the age of 40 ； Achieve major professional goals before the age of 50 ； Summarize experiences before the age of 55 ； Start cashing out and enjoying life from the age of 60. I think it’s important to develop good healthy living habits starting from before the age of five, and to learn self-discipline by the age of 15. In fact, mental health is more important than physical health. Without good psychological resilience, such people shrink back in the face of difficulties, become pessimistic when faced with failure, run away from challenges, stay awake all night over major issues, and feel extremely anxious when things are uncertain; such people will never succeed in anything. There’s also those who are petty-minded, constantly preoccupied with negative thoughts, self-pitying, and full of envy and resentment – all signs of poor mental health, and such people will never achieve anything great.

This post was last edited by MsKoo on 2016-7-26 at 15:12. QUOTE: This is not the attitude that responsible parents should adopt; parents must pass on their own experiences and lessons to their children fully, otherwise humanity... wxmang-------------------------------------------------------------> Thomas_Hanks 2015-06-17 11:40:10 Yes. However, it is also necessary to avoid situations where some parents, due to limited capabilities or a failure to continuously improve themselves, end up with skills and understanding that are somewhat or even significantly outdated compared to those in modern society. In short, parents also need to keep learning their whole lives*. ---------------------------------------------------------》 QUOTE: Yes. But it is also necessary to avoid situations where some parents, due to limited capabilities or a failure to continuously improve themselves, end up having a low level of competence... Thomas_Hanks wxmang 2015-06-17 11:45:04 In traditional Chinese parenting, there are differences between families from ordinary backgrounds and those from noble families. For example, noble families (including those of officials) would teach their children, from the age of three or five, how to clean the house, how to walk, sit, and move around, as well as proper manners and ways of speaking ； At the age of six or seven, when one begins formal education, they start with the Book of Songs and music – these elements purify the soul, cultivate an appreciation for beauty, and help develop an elegant temperament ； At around the age of ten, I began reading The Spring and Autumn Annals and Zuo’s Commentary, thus becoming aware of the materials that shape the course of Chinese history ； As one grows a little older, education that involves descriptions of **procedures and** official document templates, such as those found in the \"Zhou Li\" and \"Shang Shu\", begins ； At a slightly older age, the I Ching becomes a tool for mastering and summarizing one’s own experiences. Therefore, in history, the education of China’s nobles and aristocratic families was different from the education focused on passing imperial examinations, as they were not in a hurry to earn a living or bring honor to their families through such exams. They had time to develop their skills in governing the country. Their training approach aimed to produce individuals who could handle governance tasks effectively, rather than mere clerks who relied on others for work, or charlatans who only knew how to talk big without taking any action. Their goal in training is to produce pragmatic politicians and leaders who can think strategically while also staying grounded in reality. It’s just that this model of cultivation has never been able to spread among the common people. Therefore, although China has not had a history of noble families as understood in the West due to frequent dynastic changes, it does have a tradition of scholarly families. In fact, this is also the way in which red nobles are trained these days; many of them develop an awareness to be leaders and to take on practical tasks at a very young age. Of course, some people, due to their lower IQ, behave in rather funny ways when doing things, creating a comedic effect similar to that of someone trying to imitate others poorly.

I learned from this; I have a student taking exams at home, and it’s giving me a headache. :(

Moral education should be based on setting an example rather than giving lectures; children should be given more time to play in their early years, so that their natural instincts can develop. They should learn to read as much as possible, reading books that are meaningful. Deep love should accompany their growth, as love can both inspire and be passed on.