Don’t compete over money, don’t compete over food, don’t compete over clothing. What should we compete over? More than inner beauty, more than virtue.

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Excerpted with respect from Teacher Cai Lixu’s book “How to Establish a Harmonious and Respectful Relationship between the Two Sexes.” Focusing only on external beauty can harm a child for life. We see that these days many parents, once they have a daughter, want her to look beautiful at all costs. What is the standard for what counts as beautiful? Social standards. In today’s society, what kind of clothes are the most beautiful? In fashion, it’s considered beautiful when the back is torn as well as the front. Children wear this kind of clothing from a young age; they get used to it, and by doing so you plant very dangerous seeds of evil in that child’s life. If a child thinks it’s beautiful to wear little clothing, she is already causing others to show her disrespect. Her clothing might put her life in many dangerous situations, attracting the lecherous looks of many men. She only cares about her appearance; most of her life is not spent cultivating inner beauty or improving her wisdom – so what does she do all the time with a mirror? Take a photo. If you take photos not just of one place but of many places, it becomes troublesome. We haven’t seen any problems with fraud. Therefore, parents’ views on beauty influence children. What does a child think is beautiful these days? A famous brand means beauty. When he believes that brand names equal beauty, he is very likely to become a slave to material things, spending each day just trying to earn money to buy things, resulting in a life that is extremely impoverished. If he thinks that he needs a famous brand to show off his beauty, or a good figure to showcase it, then he will go for plastic surgery. We talk about appearing natural; although everything seems to meet that standard – the nose is a nose and the mouth is a mouth – when they smile, it doesn’t look natural at all, giving the impression that their skin is stretched. When we look at many public figures, we not only don’t find them beautiful, but we also feel uncomfortable around them. So these days people live in an increasingly reversed manner, using clothes and their appearance to win others’ attention and respect for them. Is it possible? It’s impossible. He spends all his time on these worthless, superficial, vain, and egoistic things, leaving his heart increasingly empty. Do many people’s eyes have a lively look these days? No deity. When I’m by myself, I feel lost and confused ； Seeing someone approaching, one might take a moment to admire them before their attention returns. His emotions and happiness depend on whether others give him a second glance; such a life certainly has no joy in it. It’s painful every day; I keep thinking about why he doesn’t look at me. It’s so annoying. So today’s values are becoming increasingly skewed, and we really feel worried for them. There is a saying in The Disciple’s Rules: “If one excels only in virtue and learning, or only in skills and talents, and is still inferior to others, one should strive to improve oneself.” If your clothes or food are not as good as others’, do not feel sad. ”What should we worry about? Is one’s virtue good? Is the knowledge good? We need to make haste and work hard on these aspects. There are no brand names on the clothes, and no exotic delicacies in the food – it doesn’t matter; those aren’t the most important things in life. So don’t compete over money, don’t compete over food, don’t compete over clothing. What should we compete over? More than inner beauty, more than virtue. We tell the children that there is a piece of clothing that doesn’t cost anything; it won’t get damaged or worn out. Moreover, as you grow older, this piece of clothing becomes increasingly beautiful. When you wear it, people treat you with great respect. What is this piece of clothing called? This piece of clothing is called good habits, good virtues. When you follow one rule from the \"Disciple’s Rules,\" it’s like adding one stitch to this garment; each rule followed adds one stitch, and once all the rules have been followed, the garment will be fully completed.