You, who have been in the laboratory, turn out to be so different!

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This post was last edited by 68589544 on 2016-10-9 at 16:14. Those who have spent time in the laboratory are truly special! — On the occasion of National Day, let’s pay tribute to those who have worked in laboratories. Instrument Information Network, 2016/09/30 11:26:31. If you’re asked what’s special about people who have been in the laboratory, you might not be able to answer right away. But after reading these classic quotes, you’ll realize just how unique these people are! In fact, those who have spent time in the laboratory possess a distinct temperament that influences every aspect of their lives: they check whether the liquid level is even when pouring drinks; they want to know the pH value of water they drink; they always put the lid on a pot upside down while cooking; and they feel upset when they see water remaining on the dishes after washing them... Their way of speaking is also different, of course... The Instrument Information Network forum’s topic “Prove with one sentence that you’ve been in a laboratory” has sparked a wave of nostalgia among those who work in laboratories – with quotes that are either classic or hilarious... It’s full of warmth and memories. I’d like to share these with you all today; go ahead and see if any of them apply to you! Food and Drink Section: Why is this soup so green? It must be because the colorfastness of the vegetables isn’t good enough. 　　We went to eat hot pot; the broth was a bit too thick. “Waiter, please add some water to the pot to thin it out.” ”　　Go to the market to buy cooked beef; “Boss, I’d like to buy 10 yuan worth of braised beef – please cut it into small pieces for me.” ”　　Every time I drink Wahaha, I think about the fact that this substance can be used in liquid form... When going to a restaurant, I pick up my chopsticks first after the food is served, under the pretense of trying to sense its taste first. When ordering spicy hot pot, I ask for a mild version, but it turns out to still be very spicy; I say it’s because the base concentration is too high and nothing has been done to dilute it. To ensure fairness, I always check whether the surface of the liquid is level before pouring wine. If too much ingredient is used, oh no, the concentration becomes too high! When eating, one should also consume small amounts frequently... Preservatives, mycotoxins, Sudan Red, Rhodamine B, Basic Orange... I’m familiar with all of them. When a pancake burns, it’s not called burnt; it’s called carbonized. When an egg is cooked, it’s not called a loss – it’s called denaturation. Every time I wash a cup, I rinse it with the water I’m about to drink before using it again. I need only 50 mL of water... I want to know the pH value of the water I drink. When eating in a restaurant, I always order caramelized bananas and caramelized potatoes, as a reminder of those days spent doing inorganic experiments. That dish contains too much monosodium glutamate, making it too flavorful; while that other dish doesn’t have any sodium chloride added, so it has no taste at all! During a gathering, a soup was served, and it was said that everyone should stir the soup. 　　From leaving the laboratory until dinner time, I had dinner with the teacher; it was noodles with vinegar. I asked the teacher how much to use, and he said 5 milliliters. It’s true! After adding the seasonings to the cold dishes, stir them before eating. Are there any pesticide residues in the vegetables I eat? I feel a bit anxious every time I eat, because I use non-stick pans... Kitchen tips: Why did this dish get burnt today? There was some deviation in the cooking process. I try to optimize every variable involved in cooking... When adding salt to the food, I use a balance with a precision of one ten-thousandth to measure the amount used. 　　When cooking, salt and spices should be added in measured amounts using special spoons, while water should be added in measured amounts using a water spoon, with an error of no more than 50 ML. 　　Soy sauce and vinegar have gotten mixed together; I really think I should use a silicone column to separate them! When cooking, the pot lid always has to be placed upside down. 　　When pouring soy sauce and vinegar, the label should face the palm of the hand... I don’t even know where to have the kitchen scale used for baking calibrated. I told my mom to put the soy sauce and vinegar in an explosion-proof cabinet. 　　When cooking porridge with alkali flour, one always wants to use paper to check how much is used. 　　When making soy milk, the initial filtrate is always removed after straining the residue... As soon as the color changes, it’s time to take it out of the pot! Can you arrange your pots and dishes neatly? Are there any residues left on the washed dishes? One chopstick, two and a half bottles of soy sauce – combined into one bottle. 　　When cooking, I feel the urge to use a thermometer to check whether the food is done... When adding salt while stir-frying, I hold the salt spoon in my right hand while gently tapping my right wrist with my left hand; it turns out I’m not the only one who does this. I generally don’t like to do the preparatory work before cooking... When cooking, I treat the recipe as a set of instructions: what’s the next step, and then what after that? Before starting to cook, I always check the recipe to make sure all the ingredients are available, and if any are missing, to find substitutes! I turn on the exhaust fan while cooking! The stainless steel pot is leaking; upon looking at it through a magnifier, it’s clear that intergranular corrosion has occurred! Heat until boiling... It’s always my job to wash the bottles used for oil, soy sauce, vinegar, etc., at home. Which has a stronger cleaning power, laundry detergent or liquid detergent? Every time I wash my hair, I think I could make shampoo myself... Use acid to remove scale... Haha, when washing things, it’s better to do it in small amounts multiple times—at least three times. Use more water when rinsing clothes, as more water means a greater dilution effect... I still think gradual dilution is more reasonable, as it saves water... It’s time to wash the clothes; let’s put them in the washing machine. When washing pots, after adding dish soap, they need to be rinsed at least twice. Now, even after washing the dishes, I want to rinse them with purified water three times... I feel upset whenever I see dishes left to soak in water... Have you rinsed the teacups before pouring water into them? Have you cleaned the glasses with chromic acid solution? Whenever a friend bakes a cake, as long as I’m there, they don’t need to use scales or measuring cups. When having a meal together, I always have to wash the bowls – it’s fast and thorough, with no water left on the surface; I’m not confident if someone else does it. 　　Damn, the temperature of your shampoo is 80 degrees – that’s too hot! When buying jewelry in a jewelry store, during the weighing process, ask the salesperson: Is this scale calibrated? Is it still within its valid calibration period? Show me the certificate. The same principle applies to heating companies coming to take temperature readings. 　　When buying a heater, I ask the staff whether it has a programmed temperature rise function. Are your electronic products environmentally friendly? When buying eggs, I wonder if there might be Salmonella on the eggshells... I created an operating procedure and guidelines for periodic checks for the newly purchased TV. 　　Before purchasing goods, one should first check the applicable standards: is an oxidizing flame or a reducing flame used for cooking? When buying vegetables and fruits from street vendors, check whether the vendor’s electronic scale is calibrated properly. When shopping for food at supermarkets, it’s important to look at the nutrition labels and the applicable standards. 　　Have you had that tested? (I always ask and check before buying any product, and I often tell my son that anything that hasn’t been tested isn’t safe.) When shopping, my son often says, “Mom, please test this!” As his mother, I’m like a god – I can test anything. Memory section: Please take the shoes out of my oven when you leave. . . 　　Secretly baking sweet potatoes in a muffle oven. . . 　　Place the beaker on the alcohol lamp to cook noodles, and don’t forget to stir them with a glass rod... The heating plate makes cooking delicious... Use a 1000ml beaker to cook rice! An experimenter who has never eaten instant noodles in the laboratory isn’t a real food lover! What lingers in my memory is that distinctive sour taste: the smell that results from microwaving a mixture of HNO3, H2SO4, HCl, and HClO4. My clothes and pants get torn frequently; I don’t know why, even though I’m wearing lab coats. The textiles that have been torn by me are worth millions, haha. 　　Coffee is better when distilled! Other articles: Whenever I hear someone say “yo”, I think of UV. 　　When I see the term “GC” in ordinary articles, my first reaction is to think of “GC (Gas Chromatography)”. Every time I see traffic police checking for drunk driving, I feel the urge to ask them: Has your equipment been calibrated? Do you have a valid license to do this job? A friend asked me if I could smell anything strange; I replied that I couldn’t smell anything, suggesting that their detection limit must be too low. In addition to looking at the conclusions in health check reports, I also pay close attention to the biological significance of each indicator, the actual values of each data point, annual trends, normal value ranges, as well as cross-comparisons and repeatability… Now, health check doctors get frustrated just by seeing me. Whenever I see an electrical appliance, I want to know how many materials it’s made of and which parts pose risks. I’ve created operating procedures and guidelines for periodic inspections for the TV set I just bought. 　　1 plus 1 is not equal to 2; this comes to mind when preparing the mobile phase. 　　One must pay attention to things with high volatility. Check the room’s temperature and humidity every day. In the hospital ward, I ask: What’s the difference between a thermometer and a hygrometer? The air in the car isn’t good, haha. Teach children to identify smells and to fan the air with their hands. Your errors are way too large! (My husband uses too much salt when cooking; my son makes mistakes when doing exercises or writes outside the grid lines, and so on.) While getting an IV drip, I keep thinking about the approximate volume of one drop of water and how long it will take to use up a whole bottle – I’m constantly calculating things like that. 　　Show me the operating procedures. 　　Have you tried A Da’s scallion oil pancakes? Are they really that delicious? If A Da’s perseverance were applied to laboratory work, our data might be more reliable and accurate. 　　When making instant coffee, use natural wrist movement to create a swirling motion that mixes the coffee evenly. 　　I just washed my hands in a plastic basin – could that affect the results related to plasticizers? What is the basis for this conclusion? As long as I have the proper procedures and ingredients, I can cook any dish.