I feel like I don’t know much, I have no patience to learn, and I’m confused.

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I’ve been working for about five years; the first four years were spent working with field instruments, after which I changed jobs (now I mainly work on systems, but also in the field). When I first graduated, I was full of enthusiasm; I was determined to learn some technical skills and worked very hard. I was recognized for my efforts, and I was one of the standout members in the instrumentation team. But after only about a year or so of effort, once the installation was up and running, things basically just became routine, as that was the general situation at the time; there were some things one wanted to learn that were not available back then. A year ago, due to issues at the company, I was forced to change jobs. This opportunity is better than the previous ones; aside from not being involved in the technical clarifications for the project, I was involved to some extent in the subsequent processes. There isn’t much moisture in the instruments on site, but it’s really tough considering the conditions – sometimes they are quite harsh, and there are some problems that simply can’t be resolved; one has to spend hours in the middle of the night dealing with them, ending up covered in a nasty smell. I’m the only one working on DCS and SIS projects; although I can handle basic system maintenance and routine configuration tasks, I realize that it’s necessary to improve my skills in English and computer programming languages. Many functions require the writing of scripts, and both the systems and documentation are in English. I often have to interact with foreigners, so it’s really essential to learn these skills. In addition, I need to keep records of various instruments, learn about manufacturing processes and electrical systems. Damn it, I still haven’t fully mastered logic and sequence control either, because the managers might ask questions at any time; I have to act like a dictionary or an encyclopedia. There’s also the PLCs on site, various analysis instruments, different sets of equipment, piles of documents that keep changing, and various valve positioners – there’s simply no way to keep up with it all. I’m very impulsive and confused; I can’t focus on reading a lot of material for long, and I get anxious when I think about all the things I need to master. It’s the same when we’re at work – while other colleagues just play with their phones or watch TV shows, waiting for someone to assign them tasks, I feel so much pressure; it’s really tough. . . It’s also possible that my level is too low; the manager doesn’t know much about many things, yet he is still able to manage the entire instrumentation department well.